This is ronin ^
I made 3 versions of an ace shark icon to please my teenager
i have witnessed unspeakable horrors . the horrors weren't undescribable or anything, i just had to sign an NDA
i feel like all the fics where draxum does horrible/abusive things to one of the turtles go like this lol
I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants.
made-of-love-and-stars
THIS.
alandofdawnandstarlight
Don’t forget kids, jewelweed is a natural counteragent to poison ivy rashes but it won’t do shit against whooping cough
Mint for nausea, valerian and chamomile for sleep, antibiotics for fucking infections.
I’m in love with this post
“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted
Anonymous asked:
Wait wait you can't just drop that off and not elaborate. What do you mean is there a mafia presence in Wales?? Please spill, what things did you notice??
Okay so bearing in mind that I have ADHD and Chronic Terrible Observational Skills:
- I am in Cardiff
- For a concert I am attending solo
- Doors open at 5
- 4:15 ish I go 'hmm I should eat something'
- Cardiff is - unsurprisingly, being tiny and yet home to FOUR concert venues - Very Busy
- Find McDonald's
- McDonald's is very full. I recall my last concert related McDick's experience, and promptly bounce
- Directly across the street
- Is an Italian restaurant
- It looks closed but fuckit maybe I can beg for like. Bread or some shit
- Go over
- Am immediately pounced upon by the hitherto unnoticed chain-smoking woman hanging out by the door mostly hidden by a potted ficus(?)
- "I was wondering if you were open and if-" "yes yes we are open what would you like?" (strongish Italian accent)
- Inside restaurant is Deserted
- Explain that I'm sort of in a rush, am assured it's fine
- Order chicken milanese which is generally a pasta dish with a breaded chicken component
- Am led to seat nearish the front and promptly provided with a pint of coke in a glass tankard
- Am then provided with a front row seat to an absolutely incomprehensible series of people entering and exiting (and in one case walking directly into) the door to what I can only presume is the kitchen
- Starting with the guy who had been sitting at a table chain-smoking over a pile of papers
- I counted at least three people exiting at least twice without actually entering in between
- Am finally brought food
- It is a breaded, butterflied chicken breast approximately the size of my face and a small pile of pasta approximately the size of my fist
- It is all delicious
- Chain-smoking papers man reappears, now wearing a chef's apron labcoat thing
- Go up to pay, chain-smoking ficus lady is now having a very loud argument in a language I did not recognise but was not Italian Welsh English French russian Gaelic or Spanish
- She sees me, says, and I quote 'ah little girl lost, one moment' and promptly hangs up
- I am 27 and only nominally female
- I am not remotely lost
- She charges me for the pint of coke but not the food
- I try to point out that she hasn't charged me for the food
- 'do you want to pay for the food?'
- '.... Not if I don't have to?'
- 'good'
- I leave. The door is now full of half a dozen very tall very Italian men and one absolutely adorable cocker spaniel
- I ask if I can pet the dog (I have my priorities straight okay)
- I am allowed to pet the dog. The dog and I are now best friends
- The dog lead holder asks me in extremely accented but impeccably correct English if I had enjoyed the food
- 'yeah it was great!'
- Everyone laughs a bit
- I smile and pet the dog and realise I'm now late for the concert and hurry off
- I see a post on Tumblr about mob fronts and several connections are made in my brain all at once
their models with no facial expressions applied look so funny it's like they heard their mom come home and they forgot to do the the dishes
so I didn't know if female jesters had been a thing in the past and looked it up and was introduced to mathurine the fool, who gave one of the best burns in history in a silly little way.
also she apparently stopped an assassination?? amazing.
"how do you just know this" is a question I get asked a lot, because I tend to be someone who can contribute unusual facts or insight on whatever topic a casual conversation turns to, and I never know how to answer because "I pay attention" sounds rude and isn't super actionable. but that is really it, I just take an active interest when I encounter something curious or unusual.
like recently one of my friends linked me a funny paragraph from a very badly written erotic novel. it was so bad that I thought "I wonder if this is real", so we looked up the book it was from and learned it was a vintage horny housewife type story by someone who wrote a lot of shitty cheap porn back in the 80s, all of which now seems to be completely out of print.
in the course of googling the author, I discovered that one of their works had been cited in a 2004 court case over a prisoner's right to keep erotic novels in his personal library after the prison confiscated them. a bit more googling turned up the case details in a legal database. the guy had received the books by mail and kept them, among others, in his cell. the prison seized them, citing a policy against prisoners having pornography. his lawyers argued that 1. erotic novels are distinct from pornography because they have artistic and expressive content beyond the depiction of sex acts, and 2. since he received them by mail they are therefore protected under his constitutional right to freely access non-disruptive information from outside the prison. I don't know if he got his books back, but he won his case.
then we googled the defendant and found out he was in prison for helping a woman to drug and murder his boss (who she lived with), mutilate the body with acid and dump him in a ravine.
anyway my point is, take an interest. that's how you learn weird stuff.
One of those anime-style spells of fuck your shit up where the verbal component is a long monologue that name-drops a specific demon, except it goes into a weirdly personal level of detail regarding the relationship between the invoker and the demon.
Our grocery store has a Perishable Manager and a Non-Perishable Manager and I know it’s talking about the departments they oversee but really it seems like Seth may be mortal but David will never die
i like sailing myths and superstitions because most of them can be boiled down to "if the ocean doesn't like you it will chew you up and spit out your bones. and if it really loves you it will swallow you whole and never let you go. good luck 👍"
there's like 10,0000,0 accounts with names like "Best Heritage Posts" and "Tumblr Hall Of Fame Posts" and "So Funny Hellsite Posts" but where's the shitty posts accounts. where's the hall of fail accounts. i want to see the worst of the worst
