40 Pounds Of Butt In 30 Pound Butt Capacity Pants

Pedophiles in Hollywood is such a stupid right wing conspiracy when it’s shit like Pizzagate but like??? There are actual abusers in Hollywood and they keep fucking destroying lives, getting away with it, and then come back and make billions of dollars in their next franchise film

the venn diagram of people who thought the “me too” movement went too far and people who think people like Tom Hanks are drinking children’s adrenochrome is a fucking circle

you’re so close weirdos, and yet so very far away

The adrenochrome thing always confuses me because everything I've read about it indicates it is thee worstz most useless high, if it even provides a high at all. Like why not just accuse the (((elite))) of being vicious coke fiends. Coke actually exists and is like. Actually an epidemic. Actually a production of secret large scale networks. Actually a locus of abuse. Actually bad

The reason why it’s andrenochrome and not coke is because of antisemitism. It’s a modernization of the blood libel and the nocturnal ritual fantasy.

look i dislike the corporate artyle book cover trend as much as the next person but we cant pretend every book looking the same is something new. if you stepped into a bookstore in 2013 there would be approximately 57 books whose cover art consisted of a girl in a ballgown with her back half-turned to the camera photoshopped into a vaguely fantasy-like landscape. i was 11 years old fighting for my life to find the right maximalistic girl and her single-adjective book title we cannot forget the horrors i went through please be respectful of my experiences

the guardian angels of preteen girls........

See also "silhouetted man with his back to the reader, walking away, alone" for airport thrillers

Amongst others

And: "acacia tree over sunset: This book is about Africa."

Of course, there are other cliches:

i wanna see more solidarity between black people and jewish people. there are a concerning amount of similarities in our history and oppression, and with the way things are going we need to learn from each other and protect each other more than ever (not to mention black jews who are rarely acknowledged)

convincing both Jewish and Black USians that they have specific beef with each other is one of the explicit aims of a lot of white supremacist propaganda, and for good reason. they are rightly *terrified* we will realize we are cousins (as Black Jewish ppl have told us over & over!)

just gonna share the article Skin in the Game again, by Eric K. Ward. it explains how antisemitism is the touchstone of white nationalism, and how understanding the connected hatred of Jewish people and people of color is key to fighting white nationalism

Possibly my senator’s finest moment

(Bonus points if you explain how you would adapt it in the tags)

Oh, what a handsome man.

- the lady at the welfare office cancelling my benefits

- the lady at the welfare office cancelling my b

The lady at the w

longreads week continues with this 2019 profile of Robert Mallory aka author AJ Finn, a fun old timey con artist who makes some baffling choices

“On February 12, 2013, some people in London who knew Mallory professionally received a group e-mail from Jake Mallory, Dan’s brother, whom they’d never met. Writing from a Gmail address, Jake said that Dan would be going to the hospital the next day, for the removal of a tumor. He’d be having “complicated surgery with several high risk factors, including the possibility of paralysis and/or the loss of function below the waist.” But, Jake went on, “Dan has been through worse and has pointed out that if he could make it through Love Actually alive, this surgery holds no terrors.” Dan would eat “an early dinner of sashimi and will then read a book about dogs until bedtime,” Jake wrote, adding, “Dan was treated terribly by people throughout his childhood and teenage years and into his twenties, which left him a very deeply lonely person, so he does not like/trust many people. Please keep him in your thoughts”.”

any bets on whether “Jake” actually exists?

This site toppling the competition by opting to sell shoelaces instead of monetising their users must be one of the greatest examples of failing upwards in history

okay picture this; i go back in time and find a victorian orphan child. do i blow his mind? do i break his brain? NO!!! i give him warm soft clothes and a hug. he gets me wizard high off what would commonly be used to treat a minor cough in that era. we both eventually contract a deadly illness and then i bring him to the future where we get easily cured of our ailment. i buy him a happy meal afterwards. he’s my good son now. love you son.

#the victorian digestive system encountering a happy meal is going to kill this child

counterargument: the things this victorian orphan has been eating out of trash would make modern gut flora flee your body in streams. he can now digest rocks and crude oil.

And another superhero is born.

Victorian orphan child: has survived infancy eating things like bread made of sawdust, milk full of chalk, food with arsenic in it, mad cow brains, that goose that ebenezer Scrooge fucked, etc etc

Internet fool: HaPpY mEaL bAd

longreads day continues--i know it's weird to consider this one of my 'favorites' but it is really, really well written, and she's done other pieces for the atlantic that dive into fraternity culture and why, for so many reasons, they're incredibly hard to eradicate or defeat in court

cw for abuse, death, alcohol, fraternity

“In an effort to learn more about fraternities, the Piazzas— who had not taken part in Greek life when they were college students—had attended an information session while at a Penn State parents’ weekend in the fall of 2014 for their older son, Mike, who was then a freshman. Evelyn recalled that a university official told the crowd of parents that there was no hazing at the university. An uncomfortable silence followed, until one by one, parents informed the man that their sons were currently being hazed.”

“Then I asked Horras about the Shep Test [the quiz part of a hazing ritual that often involves torture], and why it endured, despite the effort that had gone into eradicating it. He interrupted me: “Wait a minute. That test doesn’t happen anymore. We have testimonials instead, where pledges can—”

“But it’s in the presentment,” I said, and he looked at me, baffled. “One kid asks where the pledges were, and the other one says they’re waiting in the boiler room after the Shep Test.”

It was clear in that moment—and as he affirmed in a later email—that Horras hadn’t read the presentment very closely.

In my notebook, I wrote:

Long pause Long pause— Long pause

Finally he said, with consummate feeling, “I’m fucking mad that that stuff is going on.”

And then I realized why Horras was able to see the torture and death of a 19-year-old kid as a golden opportunity: He didn’t really know that much about it. I started to ask him another question, but for a few moments he seemed lost.

“Am I just fighting for a bunch of idiots?” he asked.”

longreads day continues--i know it's weird to consider this one of my 'favorites' but it is really, really well written, and she's done other pieces for the atlantic that dive into fraternity culture and why, for so many reasons, they're incredibly hard to eradicate or defeat in court

cw for abuse, death, alcohol, fraternity

“In an effort to learn more about fraternities, the Piazzas— who had not taken part in Greek life when they were college students—had attended an information session while at a Penn State parents’ weekend in the fall of 2014 for their older son, Mike, who was then a freshman. Evelyn recalled that a university official told the crowd of parents that there was no hazing at the university. An uncomfortable silence followed, until one by one, parents informed the man that their sons were currently being hazed.”