Rose

Ocean’s 8’s Mindy Kaling and Sarah Paulson blast film trolls

The gays have taken July as Second Pride Month. All July holidays have been replaced. Canada Day is now Pan-ada Day. Fourth of July will henceforth be known as Fourth of Ju-bi.

A wholesome alternative to nationalistic/colonialist garbage holidays

this

ALL OF THIS!!! So much truth!

If Maxine Waters ends up dead follow this back because it’s a fucking trail that man is crazy

The Left white silence on this is not astounding. They were all for reclaiming my time, but as soon as she says some real shit it’s “you’re too aggressive. You’re so angry”

Logan Paul: Here’s a dead body 

Youtube: Let’s put it on trending 

Chelsea Manning: I’m running for senate 

Youtube: We can’t have this 

“…last year this photograph of children looking at their smartphones by Rembrandt’s ‘The Night Watch’ in the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam [went viral.] It was often accompanied by outraged, dispirited comments such as “a perfect metaphor for our age,” “the end of civilization” or “a sad picture of our society”.

…It turns out that the Rijksmuseum has an app that, among other things, contains guided tours and further information about the works on display. As part of their visit to the museum, the children, who minutes earlier had admired the art and listened attentively to explanations by expert adults, had been instructed to complete an assignment by their school teachers, using, among other things, the museum’s excellent smartphone app….

The tragic thing is that this — the truth — will never go viral. So, I wonder, what is more likely to bring about the death of civilization, children using smartphones to learn about art or the willful ignorance of adults who are too quick to make assumptions?” José Picardo, Medium

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Tonight at the gym a man who looked like fuckin Thor asked me out and when I told him I was a lesbian he goes “oh. Chill. You know, my sister and I work out a lot together. She’ll be here tomorrow, same time.”

Like…did Thor just wingman me?

I’m gonna be completely honest, I actually had no idea Alexa was supposed to be a robot and I just assumed the joke was that someone had an assistant who followed them around and played the songs they wanted on command

She just had a phone and speakers and would just play Despacito bass boosted in an McDonald’s parking lot because you asked

Me, trips over a rock: Alexa this is so sad play—

Alexa my determined assistant: *holds up a speaker and blasts “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers at max volume*

I’m so tired. I just wanna curl up in Thor’s big muscular arms and use his bara titties as firm pillows for my aching back and neck. He could summon some rain for ambiance as I slept, too. Gosh Thor would be so good for nap time. I don’t even care about how staticy my hair would get, and if he had to adventure??? Just put me in one of those toddler slings strapped to his chest, I’ll drool all over it. He’d let me do that too. He’s just so good. 10/10 quality naps.

which one of the guardians of the galaxy wrote this

Drax

they all want this, Drax is just the only one brave enough to write it down

Sports Anchor: “Band Girl throw the sword high.”

“Nails the catch and completes it with a bend.”

“Touch Down Band Girl.”

This is my favorite video ever

Lyft driver: “Your name, is Slavic? Me too. Bulgarian. I drive fast for you, brother.”

Now he’s waxing philosophical about the Ottoman Empire, imperialism, and human nature. “Humans? We are the most dangerous animal. Other animals, they kill when they need to. We kill when we think we need to. It is not the same.”

He just monologued about climate change and the military industrial complex, and the difficulty of having a Balkan identity when every Balkan country changes hands “every twenty years”. “Our history is getting swallowed by the biggest fish, and that fish getting swallowed by the next biggest fish, and so on.”

He had so many more gems. We compared family names, realized that his daughter shares my grandfather’s name (the feminine version), and then he started talking about The Old Country. The city where he grew up had a population of 300, and the population of his whole country could fit inside Chicago. He came here twenty years ago seeking a better life, but “everything in America is too big, the cars, the problems, the inequality”. He pointed to his phone and called it “stupid little computer” that’s meant to control his life, not to improve it, and how the world is getting steadily worse and the little people can’t do anything about it. He told me to continue my studies so that I don’t grow up to work in the service industry and can instead try to stop the concentration of power into the hands of corrupt people. Then he shrugged and said, “But who knows? Can anyone do it? I don’t know if it’s possible.”

I tipped him 25%.

You just met an Old God

@valkyriespalkyries

this is the kind of quality content I want to see in the news

What a polite way to tell me “Dad you f*cked up my hair” 😂😂 at least I tried.

She is too cute😩😍😍😍, she is nicer than my sisters were 😂😭

This deserves to go viral 😭

“I like it… you just got it wrong.” 😂😂😂

I hope future daughter politely gets people together like this💕😆

Her little voice

The Adventure Zone: Ep. 1. Here There Be Gerblins (based on this)

Tessa Thompson training for “Thor: Ragnarok”

Bonus: 

tv meme: ten shows [4/8]  →  parks and recreation “We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.”

i mean, there’s typecasting

and then there’s playing a version of cinderella’s stepsister four times

four

separate

productions

Here’s a bit of an explanation:

God I love her.