it’s okay to eat ; you are allowed to eat

please remember this!!!

I hope I was able to make you smile.

Please reblog and follow if you like my work.

If you're reading this you're beautiful.

It’s okay to not feel like you are right now.

But you are.

reblog to tell your followers the same.

things to do when you’re bored:

“We’ll be okay.”

IT’S HERE after a month of scraggly work and a lot of love - this angsty fancomic is done! It isn’t perfect, but it’s mine and I love it. Thank you for the support everyone, I hope you like it too! :’) 

It’s a perfect day in Bright Moon for a royal wedding 💖

for Glimbow Week - Wedding @glimbow-week-2020

Happy pride everyone!! I have to make one with every lgbt+ character of SheRa!! Thanks for the representation Noelle!! 

Forgive me if i forgot someone :(

Sorry not sorry  but Glimmer and Bow are bisexual to me!!

Buy here :)

Hass Idriss | She Rises at Dusk

My boyfriend surprised me with a necklace today and if you look through it, it says “i love you” in 100 languages

He got the necklace from here for everyone asking ✨

Omg i want this necklace for Christmas ❤️

My boyfriend give me one too and he put this in a projector in the car and it’s the most beautiful date that I has been in my life. 😍

Reposting to remind myself to buy one 

Same

my girlfriend got this for me for our 6 months 💗💗 it’s really worth the hype guys it’s so cute and so beautiful

Thinking about getting it for my girl 💖💍

They definitely don’t like each other 😏

There’s always a lingering question that I ask myself, which is why do I, a cis bisexual woman, enjoy romance between two men so much?  

There are easy answers, like that it’s just fetishizing.  And like, I find men attractive, yes.  But I also find women attractive.  I don’t have a problem with enjoying het romance, assuming I can find good ones.  I enjoy stories with female characters I can relate to.

But there’s something much deeper at play, IMO.  A friend of mine who is a gender studies professor was the first person to point this out to me, but a lot of women enjoy m/m romance and gay porn because of the lack of women.  It removes a source of pressure and sexism.  Without any women present, you don’t have to constantly evaluate the sexism of their portrayal, or be reminded of negative experiences in your own life.  It allows women to experience romance and especially sexuality without all the baggage that comes with it in our patriarchal society.

This was recently illustrated to me rather dramatically.  I read a recommendation for a het romance.  And it sounded cute, and came highly recommended.  The tropes at play were fun.  Until I read a snippet and realized this was a romance between a woman and her boss.  I had a visceral negative reaction.  

Instantly I’m thinking of sexual harassment stories I’ve read and heard from other women. I’m thinking of how uncomfortable it would be to have your boss develop feelings for you.  How icky the power dynamics would be, etc.  

And then I realized…this wouldn’t bother me if it were two men.  Now, there’s no logical reason for that.  Sexual harassment is just as wrong when its object is a man.  But I know I’ve read fics with a similar premise and never thought about it.  Because when it’s two men I can accept this is just a light romance, a fantasy, meant to be fun and sexy and not to represent the real world.

But I can’t when it’s a het relationship.  There’s too much baggage there.  Too much societal history of abuse.  I can’t relax enough with the premise to enjoy that story.  

Now some people can.  And that’s fine.  And some people are never going to be okay with power imbalances like that regardless of gender.  That’s also fine.  I don’t think having either reaction makes one morally superior.  It’s okay to just enjoy light entertainment for what it is without going into deep analysis.

But it’s much more difficult for me, and I think for many women, to relax and enjoy romantic and sexual stories when they involve female characters.  We’ve been burned too many times by shitty depictions, by shallow role models, by abuse portrayed as romantic.  We have developed a stress response, a trauma response to heterosexual romance.  We are hyper-reactive to a wide variety of triggers in regards to it.   But removing women from the equation makes stories safer for us.  And maybe it shouldn’t?  In an ideal world?  But for many of us, that’s the truth.

So this post blew up in the last 24 hours, for whatever reason, and I was looking through people’s responses, as you do.  I’m quite moved that so many found it relatable.

But I wanted to highlight one set of tags (via @reallifepotato​ )

Because I AM comfortable with my sexuality and fairly comfortable with my body, but still, this resonates so hard as someone who has always been overweight.  The amount that our society teaches women to constantly compare ourselves, almost always negatively with every other woman out there, can utterly ruin our enjoyment of this kind of thing.  Like how many times have you tried to watch a mainstream romantic comedy where some utterly gorgeous actress is bemoaning that she can’t get a date, or WORSE is made out to be less than attractive.  And you look at her and go…but she’s fucking perfect?  And you just want to puke.  

But with m/m romance you can put yourself in the place of either character and…not compare yourself.  You can enjoy a character being attractive without feeling bad about yourself, which is REALLY HARD to do for any woman in our fucked up culture.  

oh my god someone put it into words!!!!!

these are some really interesting points!

for further reading, author Malinda Lo wrote a piece about how queer women feeling more comfortable with mlm stories than with wlw stories (due to wlw stories hitting too close to home) might help contribute to the lack of wlw representation in young adult literature — The Invisible Lesbian in Young Adult Fiction: A Culture of Misogyny Erases the Stories of Queer Girls

it’s a different perspective, because she’s writing as an author who wants to know why wlw books often get marginalized within the young adult genre and when it comes to awards, but worth the read. I think it really helps tie together the experiences on this post: that sometimes the things you write and read reflect more what you’re comfortable facing than what you personally identify with, and how, if you’re ready to and want to, you can try to get past that

and of course, though it’s not the point of this post, it’s worth keeping in mind that however much value mlm fiction has for women, it’s important to be mindful that we don’t fetishize mlm just because we enjoy the romance, and that it’s always good to support ownvoices mlm romance over mlm romance written by straight women! not that i think there’s any of that on the post, it’s just such an important part of the discourse around m/m romance books that i’d feel awkward reblogging without any mention

don’t forget on pride month

Let’s say your matrilineal line is fairly consistent and everyone has their daughter at 25. So four women in your matrilineal line are born every hundred years. In a thousand years, that’s only 40 women. Like the math is so simple and yet ? You don’t think about it. So in 2000 years, 80 women. So basically, 0 AD started roughly about 80 mothers ago. That’s it.

I’m……… i’m a little drunk n cannot deal with this right now

Yep

The advent of agriculture around 9500BC was about 450 mothers ago

you can’t just say shit like that without a warning

Many, many mothers ago, when the world was new….

Many of the notes here are saying “But women used to have kids earlier”

Okay. So, assume every woman had her daughter at 20 instead. 

That’s five mothers in a century. 

Fifty mothers in a thousand years. 

One hundred mothers in two thousand years. 

That is five hundred and seventy five mothers since the dawn of agriculture. 

Less than six hundred women, between you and the dawn of civilization. 

You are never so far from your ancestors as you think. 

Okay but “x mothers ago” is the best damn dating system, and I’m gonna use it SOMEWHERE.

I was not PREPARED

“You are never so far from your ancestors as you think”

𝘔𝘢𝘯𝘺, 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘨𝘰, 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘸….

LGBT STANDS FOR LIZARDS, GECKOS, BEES, TURTLES

Finding out you’re bi is the hardest shit for your brain ‘cause you’re like:

And this mess sometimes takes a serious amount of time to process just for some smartass to come at ya and (after .1 second of thinking) be like “no you ain’t bi”