theyre 5!

they’re 6! :)

Actually, the scariest part of Alien (1979) is how no one tried to understand the Xenomorph and just branded her a monster from the start. We can't chose the circumstances of our birth and it's the choices we make that define who we are.

She chose to eat people

God forbid women do anything

4. If the car pulls up to you run in the opposite direction.

5. Walk with your keys in your hands and keep a key between each finger

6. If they put you in the trunk kick out the headlights

7. If you get lost find a woman with a child. Never ask a man for help (this one was drilled)

That scream fire piece of advice is literally life saving

8. Watch your shadows and reflections, especially if someone is walking behind you. A split second notice is better than none and will help you.

Yes this last one really saves lives y'all I do it all the time

girls have to learn to view the world like international intelligence agents just to be safe walking down the street. smh.

guys pls pls pls reblog and girls pls pls pls be safe out there. terrifying and so sad that we have to worry about this on a daily basis

(I’m an enby, but, frankly, this is helpful for anyone.)

- always tell someone where youre at and an approx time when youll be back

Add text replacement words in your phone if possible. Something short and memorable that you can send quickly to people in moments of emergencies.

E.g.

I f ing hate that we need to reblog this, people suck, but this will save lives.

DO NOT SCROLL PAST

Being female fucking sucks but yes this shit is important for everyone

Also, do not walk close to walls. It will be easier for someone so walk past you and push you against it or corner you.

If your gut is telling you to cross the street or change your path, do it. Don’t risk it. Your body knows.

If you can, buy a large umbrella and walk holding it. Studies say that predators are less likely to attempt an attack on someone that could fight back. Keys around your knuckles is fine but you’ll need to get very close to do damage. Umbrellas are more precise.

Avoid wearing headphones if you are alone on an empty street. Look aware.

Again: Stay. Away. From. Walls.

Entering an uber alone? Call your father (or anyone you trust) and say “hey dad! Yep, I’m almost there, I’m sending you the route.” outloud. Then proceed to send them the route so they can follow the uber drive. This will most likely intimidate the predator.

If you see someone in an uncomfortable or possibly dangerous situation, walk up to them and say “Betty, oh my god, I haven’t seen you in so long!”. If she gets slightly confused, you can whisper and let her know you’re trying to help and that she should follow along. Walk together to another station or away from where you are. The man will most likely not follow. I have done this one 2 times and can be very helpful.

If you are unsure she needs help, you can pass her a note saying something like “hey, I noticed this man beside you is making you uncomfortable. If you’d like help, fake a sneeze right now and I will come up to you and pretend we are friends.” This is a long note, but its an example. Be discrete. If she follows along, proceed with the previous tip. This is helpful when you’re in a crowded train and you notice harassment.

Help your sisters. Trust them. Trust yourself. Be safe.

If you ever feel unsafe or need help, anyone is welcome to run upto me and ask me for help! I’ll go all mama bear and keep you safe!!!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/166g6Vo8Fb9H3FIZF2H6faEBHtFQSf7nVn_QxcJ9NMi0/edit?usp=sharing

I made this google doc covering 14 different self defense tips and tricks. it was made on January 15th, 2020 so it was before I decided I’d come back to tumblr jhjshdbjfh.

EVERY TIME I SEE THIS I REBLOG BECAUSE THIS IS SUPER IMPORTANT!!!!!

this is so fcking important

AFAB nonbinary here, y’all please reblog, I’ve had this drilled into me as a kid and this will definitely help someone

also:

i was always told that the elbow is the sharpest point in your body, so use your elbows!!

to quote dwight schrute: “the eyes are the groin of the head”

im pretty sure that the nose is really sensitive so try to hit that. in a self defense class, they said to hold your hand like you’re carrying a plate (flat, palm up) and push upwards, bringing the bottom of your palm at the nose.

it doesn’t matter their gender, getting hit in the groin will always hurt like fuck.

if someone holds you from behind, shove yoir elbow in their gut and then punch them i the nose when they relase you

NEVER tuck in your thumb if you’re making a fist. that way if you punch someone you’ll break your thumb. make a fist like this and punch with the part marked red.

you can knock someone out by punching them into the chin. the nose is also very sensitive and can be easily broken.

as someone said above, STAY AWAY FROM WALLS!

the knee and the elbow are the strongest parts of the body. and they are nicely angled for kicking somebody.

STAY SAFE EVERYONE, AND SHARE THIS!

And if you’re going to a new place like say university… ALWAYS WALK WITH A MALE FRIEND AT NIGHT ALWAYS WALK WITH A MALE FRIEND AT NIGHT!!! This has literally saved some of my friends lives as they’ve gone to university and I expect to be the same in a few months!

MALE FRIEND BOYFRIEND ALWAYS WALK WITH A MALE YOU TRUST!!!

The fact that we live in a world where it’s necessary to know this is appalling, but here we are

IF YOU SCROLLED PAST , THEN GO BACK UP. THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN OTHER POSTS. GO READ IT AND REPOST IT.

always. reblog.

there’s just so much that’s so wrong with society’s views and attitude towards fat women that you don’t realize affect you until they do like. it’s 6 year old me thinking a classmate in the same dress is prettier than me because her dress is a smaller size.  it’s 16 year old me being secretly pleased when a man catcalls me because it means that he finds me attractive. it’s 21 year old me feeling like i need to send a disclaimer to any man on a dating app so they know what i look like before they meet me. it’s my dad saying “you look good, have you lost weight?” when he hasn’t seen me in a while.  it’s my ex friends telling me how brave they think it is that i wear a bikini to the beach.  it’s practicing how to sit and stand and hold myself in a way that makes me appear smaller and more compact than i am.  it’s being afraid to take up space. it’s the assumption that fat = unhealthy and thin = healthy.  it’s the survival of the phrase “you’re not fat, you’re beautiful!!”  it’s the desire to have thick thighs and protruding hips and large breasts but not wanting the stomach and love handles that come with it.  it’s the fat actress always playing the comedic best friend.  it’s the few, so very few, love stories with a fat romantic lead being centered around weight loss and body image.  it’s the popularity of the biggest loser.  it’s the concept of a revenge body.  it’s the need for fat women to be femme and fashionable to be slightly accepted.  it’s flat tummy teas. it’s thigh gaps. it’s waist trainers. it’s everything the kardashian jenners push and advocate.  it’s all around us and you don’t realize it until you realize it and then you can’t stop realizing it.

Do I feel my best today? No. But we move

Do I feel my best today? No. But we move

Write one sentence. Let it lead to another. It comes in waves. 

the fact that these continue to go around in the good year 2022 absolutely astounds me. i drew the original in 2015. i was nineteen years old. anyway you all get encouragement octopus instead of prompts today because i had my biannual go through the notes and cry appointment

oh and happy nano or whatever

- L

in this new year I want you to be alright. I hope you move out. I hope you have enough money to feel safe. I hope you abandon shame and forgive yourself. I hope you get enough sleep and some good news. I hope you laugh a lot and the heaviness of the world eases a bit. I wish you to be alright.

If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.

It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblog…

the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

Friggin, yis

Always reblog.

IT HAS EVOLVED

The legend marches on…

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

JDNXHSBSBF

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

Should…… should I…….

DO IT!

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

Holy shit this is getting so freaking better than I thought XD

CASH MONEY

THE FLOWER CROWN

I FINALLY FOUND IT I CANT BREATHE

The legend ensures.

Tumblr heritage post

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.

By Talos this can't be happening

reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.

why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op

I figured out roughly how many notes it's been getting per day and multiplied that by the number of days left until the end of 2023

If we keep it going at this rate we'll be far past 666k

IMPORTANT

Okay so clearly I've underestimated y'all

So how about we make this more interesting?

I will practise self care if this post reaches 666k BY THE END OF 2022

Op you have fuckethed with the devil this post has gained 30,000 notes since I reblogged it last night

you deserve a more tender tomorrow.

yes, even you. reading this, agreeing without applying, hands in front of your eyes. i'll pass this on, you think, but it doesn't apply to me.

i know because i have spent the last 2 weeks trying to say out loud: "i deserve good things." i only get to "i deserve g-" and then i break out into a cold sweat. who am i to deserve anything? there are people out there suffering. there are people out there who need good things to happen. i don't deserve anything. i am just a person. a filament. if a good thing was supposed to happen to me, i hope it passes over and happens to someone more - deserving.

but just because you can endure the present does not mean it should be something so painful.

you deserve a tender tomorrow for the same reason you deserve water, food, or air. you deserve it for the effort of survival. you are surviving, aren't you? doesn't it take a toll from you, staying here?

goodness and kindness and tenderness should not be a commodity; to be doled out in quantities. you should not feel that life exists as supply-and-demand - your happiness does not come at the cost of someone else. it does not take from some gallon of global happiness. it does not promise that a stranger will have an equally-tragic reaction to tip the scales back into balance.

there is just you, deserving. you didn't have to earn it. there is no calculation of time-enjoyed versus time-spent-suffering.

trust me. you (yes, even you) deserve peace.

I’m so mad because this worked

ROGER HELP ME

lmao will i die

roger come on my boi

When you are a classical musician and the public asks you to play Queen …

@hieronymus-bush … although I’m not sure what you’ll think of it 😆

Holy hell. He has amazing technique AND he didn’t just transcribe the piece to piano, he essentially composed classical music (and honestly some neo-classical, lol) based on the melody. Plus, he kind of looks like Freddie.

People in the 1800s would've gone apeshit over this in the concert halls

Reblogging to watch later...

Imagine if you time traveled to the court of Louis XIV. and a guy starts playing that. your eyes meet above the piano. he knows you know.

As an artist, I felt it was necessary to make that gif.

@nudityandnerdery how dare you call them out with this tag

Sh… sh… SHUT UP.

It is morally correct to be horny on main.

If we really want to fight against this puritanical culture that seems to be hell-bent on running sex workers off the internet and banning pornography wherever they can find it, you have a moral duty to post hole on main. Doesn't have to be your own hole but you got to post it.

New copypasta just dropped

Same guy