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is this real life or just a dream

@crumblingtohell-blog

where is my mind
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theweightofbeingme

*loses 30lbs* hmm. I dont see/feel a difference

*gains 5lbs* my stomach… larger…. my face? rounder my thighs?? disgusting

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blahblah333-blah
me: what could possibly go wrong?
anxiety: well here is a list of 88,790,446 initial ideas, and I’m already working on some more
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Wow

I must attract the real shit people. Not only have I been fucked over and all that good shit. But the MAN who is supposed to be my HUSBAND complete fucked me over . Haha I'm just laughing at myself . What a fucking fool i am. Fuck me. For real. I can't keep doing this shit. This shit is going to DESTROY me. I can't keep doing this. It's killing me. I hate it so much. I give my heart fully to people. And this one person in particular I gave my fucking ALL TO. Yet I still get DESTROYED. And for what? Some fucking jealous ex? Some ex that all day has been bragging about all the guys she has on her right now. Facetiming them all and shit. Like what the fuck. Then as soon as I start to LOVE on MY MAN. It's a big fucking deal? What the hell. You literally HAS NOOT FUCJING PROBLEM ALL DAY. BITCH YOU SHOYLDNT HAVE TREATED HIM LIKE YOU DID. WHAT THE FUCK. this shit is ridiculous. AND NOW ME AND MY MAN ARE FUCKING ARGUING BECAUSE OF HER. OPEN UP YOUR FYCJING EYES HONEY THIS IS WHAT SHE WANTED!!!!!!!!! GOD DAMN I HATE FUCKING PEOOLE! WHY IN THE WORLD WAS IT A GOOD IDEA FOR HER TO SPEND THE FUCKING DAY WITH US IN THE FIRST PLACE??????? STOP BEING THE NICE GUY!!!!!!! Your going to lose me because of this shit. I can only take so much babe.

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Where should I go to  when nothing feels safe.
- Aletta S.
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How can I ever believe a compliment when all I see is how horrible I truly am.

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Mind fucked

Do you ever get so mental fucked that your okay with the shit that is happening? For instance, this guy I'm talking to him we get together decide to be a couple. I love him with all my heart. I sit here in the car behind him. On his phone he has his ex under wife. Yeah it made me sad and angry . But at the same time I'm used to it. It's my life. I've grown numb to those facts.