whats the best way to trim the crest+beard of a silkie? this lady can barely see with all that floof! 

apparently some people use little headbands to keep the fluff out of their eyes

80s chickens

yo im late but when i first got my polish frizzle bantams years ago from their breeder their crests were up to keep them out of the mud (because they’re show birds) and the result was amazing

chef hats/make-up brush hair

i love them thank you for the advice

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had to Google what frizzles looked like normally and

drawtectives as drawfee squad goals

i was gonna draw for a change but i ended up messing around in blender and i made them a walking animation

also check out mi(the bunny)'s new dress ₓ ｡ 𐐪₍ᐢ. ̫ .⑅ᐢ₎𐑂↝

This has been bothering me

I mean c’mon

it’s a second dolphin ready to deploy like a fighter missile

i will never understand the insane takes against having games be more accessible

“does every game NEED to be accessible to disabled people? 🤨” yeah, actually

also the pissing and shitting over difficulty settings. just play the game on the normal difficulty dumbass it’s not for you

Same with stuff like screen shake, particle effects, flashing/lightning effects: “But the game would look terrible without them!”

Then Just.... Don’t turn them off then, dickface...

Meanwhile, *having the option to turn them off* would greatly increase the number of people able to play the game.

one of my girlfriends only tells the truth. my other girlfriend only tells lies.

and yes, they both smoke weed

and which one told you that?

the only thing in our new apartment so far

What else do u need

'Gimme some!'

I love how this person rubbed the kitty's face with the back of their hands, so they wouldn't get stuff on the kitty. T_T So gentle and caring. I love when kitties mirror.

ten years of fighting and when shit hits the fan tumblr instantly has reddit's back. the greatest enemies to lovers story ever told.

you understand

Oops, my hand slipped–

humanizations of websites have returned. nature is healing, capitalism is the virus

YES NATURE IS HEALING, MEMES AND ART IS FUTURE FUCK CAPITALISM

Which is to say, I'm having too much fun right now :D Reddit refugees, please feel like home, reblog and comment on stuff, be unhinged, support the weirdly creative and positive community and don't make a mess in the house!

[gives you none pizza with left beef and more tumblr x reddit sketches]

[gives you none pizza

with left beef and more tumblr

x reddit sketches]

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

loudly going "YOU'RE GOOD YOU'RE GOOD" to myself to ward off the memory of every embarrassing thing i've ever done

One of my favorite hobbies is thinking about the fucked up implications of this fantasy world map my parents got me for christmas

[Image ID: photo of a map. On the left side of the map is Middle Earth, with the Shire and Mordor labeled. To the direct right of Mordor is Whoville.]

I FOUND THE FULL ONE AND ITS SO MUCH MORE CHAOTIC.

HYRULE SHOOK ME TO MY CORE!

THIS WORD HAS TWO KINGDOMS RULES BY A BEING IN A TOWER!

The existence of Oz and Neverland is wild too. Does this mean that there is a REAL Earth outside of this? Could Wendy hang out in Westeros?

I’m all for going about queerness with the goal of not being able to be understood by outsiders but like. you’ve GOT to be normal about aro & ace people if you do. you can’t go on about being confusing to cishets for fun and then complain about ace & aro people who go about sex and romance and attraction in ways that don’t make sense to you.

supporting queerness that confuses others should include queerness that confuses YOU too even if you’re queer yourself.

This is legitimately the funniest thing that has ever happened on MBMBAM

who doesn’t eat raw pasta tho, that’s a thing???

transcript:

Justin: Hi, Brooks!

Travis: [crosstalk] Hello, Brooks!

Brooks: So, my question is - my boyfriend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing… handfuls of fettuccine?

[audience laughs]

Brooks: Unco - [laughs] uncooked? 

Griffin: [sarcastically] I would hope he’s not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine, Brooks!

Travis: In your pantry?!

Brooks: No - and eating them raw - [audience groans] - and he keeps calling them chips?

Justin: Okay -

[audience laughs]

Brooks: How do I make him stop?

Travis: Is your boyfriend here?

Brooks: Yeah.

Travis: You’re a monster! [audience and Justin laugh] Words mean things!

Griffin: Does anyone remember - [clears throat] I haven’t been to olive garden in… many moons, but they do have like, a little, like - fettuccine… bottle that you can just grab ‘em out of and chew - hold on! [indignantly] Was this a prank you guys pulled on me when we went to Olive Garden as kids?!

[audience laughs] 

Griffin: No. Stop, everybody shut up! [audience and Justin laugh] Do they give you fe - raw fettuccine to chew on in the lobby of the Olive Garden?? 

Audience: No! 

Griffin: YOU ST- FUCKIN’ - BASTARDS!

Travis: [crosstalk] Yaaaaaaayyy!! 

[audience starts cheering and clapping]

Justin: The prestige!! 

[Travis and Justin cackle while the audience cheers. Griffin presumably has his head in his hands.] 

Travis: And now you have IBS! 

Griffin: I didn’t -!

Travis: [triumphantly] We got ‘im!

Griffin: What I need you - [aside] Brooks, we’ll get back to you - [to his brothers] what I need you two to understand is - [Justin wheezes and giggles] that was not - the only time I went to Olive Garden. [audience laughs] There were - [laughs]

Travis: [in disbelief] Were there never employees around, like -??

Justin: [high-pitched giggles]

[audience laughs even more at Justin’s giggling]

Griffin: I - I! Wanting to seem like an authentic metropolitan… diner, would always grab the fettuccine and walk over to my friends like, “Mm, yeah, I’m a little - a little peckish -”

Travis: [cackles]

Justin: Griffin - Griffin, I -

Griffin: I fucking can’t believe - I can’t believe you did that, and I can’t believe literally I’m finding out in the worst imaginable venue -

Justin: Speaking as a former Olive Garden employee, there is - if I saw a little kid eating fettu - raw fettuccine, the… odds of me stopping them are negative one thousand percent.

[audience laughs]

Griffin: Okay, Brooks.

Justin: Brooks.

Griffin: Yeah, so I’m - gonna -

Justin: Wait -

Griffin: Sit this one out, Brooks! [audience and Travis laugh]

Justin: Brooks, is it possible that your boyfriend has been laboring under the same delusion as my brother for all these years? [audience laughs] “Oh, but wait, they sell this for you to take home? Okay! Little fancy for myself, then!”

[Griffin and audience giggle]

Travis: Brooks, is it possible -

Griffin: Mmm.

Travis: - your boyfriend does not believe these are chips, but instead, likes to annoy you, by calling them chips, a thing I - not exactly that, but similar - do to my wife all the time? [audience laughs]

Griffin: Is it possible, your boyfriend… loves chips. And you never have chips, and this is his way of passive-aggressively sort of - [audience laughs] guilting you into go - “Ooh, these are tasty chips!” - and as a raw fettuccine eater myself, I can tell you, it’s not a - it’s not a good chew! 

[audience and brothers laugh]

Griffin: You do it, and you put it in your mouth, and your six-year-old brain thinks, it’ll turn to fettuccine in the heat of your mouth. [hysterically, as audience laughs] It doesn’t work like that! It doesn’t work like that! It just doesn’t work like that.

Justin: Brooks -

[recording ends]

i think a reason why werewolves appeal to trans people but are terrifying for cis people is because trans people are not inherently afraid of transformation and change. changing your body into something more empowering and heavily removed from your old self is a dream for a lot of trans ppl but for cis people its evil, wrong, scary, violent, etc. hence the differences in how the little gay people on here talk about werewolves vs pop culture depictions of them

Are cis people afraid of being turned into werewolves? I thought the fear of werewolves was about being afraid of your neighbour or loved one murdering you one moonlit night.

I always assumed that werewolves were scary because "what if men got PMS?"

Werewolves are so lasting as story telling tools because of their versatility as characters. You can make their duel nature about anything. About being closeted, about repression, about male chauvinism and entitlement, about guilt,etc. Etc.

Transformation itself isn't inherently evil or beautiful, it merely is. Its what you transform into. Is your transformation a blessing or a curse?

what i miss most about being a chocolatier (besides the honor of gayest job title imaginable) is we had these massive bars of chocolate for tempering that were 10lbs and we had to break them into smaller chunks. by using a sledgehammer of course. i LIVED for that shit

all the other people in production HATED busting them especially at the end of the shift but i fucking loved it. give me the hammer. i can be trusted with the hammer. And everyone did in fact trust me with the hammer because again they all thought it was tedious and painful. me? i was having the time of my life. even if i had to pick up the slack for other people i would be annoyed for all of five seconds before the euphoria of getting to smash things set in. and the production areas had windows too so customers often just got to watch me beat the shit out of a massive chocolate bar. with a hammer. like a zoo animal. i was getting paid to do that. every day i miss it.

this has the exact energy of the time I was at a friend's place making them pork n cabbage dumplings and the food processor didnt work so i was like "oh god we have to obliterate 5+lbs of cabbage (like down to a vaguely mashed mince) by hand.......... did anyone want to help?"

and instantly

I got 4 people in the kitchen island absolutely going feral

smash smash chop slice rip tear

I think having outlets where we could destroy something to shreds you say would fix us actually

the story @theshitpostcalligrapher shared reminds me of the complete joy @nehirose had when i told her she could grate a whole block of cheese. that i would buy her more blocks to grate, if she wanted.

the story @greelin shared reminds me of when i was in high school, 98 or 99, and my girlfriend at the time had a job at FAO Schwarz in the mall here in Dallas. it's when the first iteration of furbies was going around, and people would buy several and then try to return them saying that they were defective/damaged, in the hopes that they'd get the damaged item AND the refund.

thing is, policy was that if you issued a refund for a damaged item, they required you to "damage it out" so that people couldn't dumpster dive and get this shit for free.

cue my girlfriend calling me yelling "I AM COMING TO GET YOU, WE HAVE TO DAMAGE OUT LIKE A DOZEN FURBIES." and she got me and her and i and one of her coworkers beat the everloving shit out of around a dozen furbies with hammers.

it was glorious.

the bitch that runs this blog was one of the cabbage shredders

yeah uh... don't do this :)

as a fanfic writer! who has a few semi-abandoned fics! if you do this i will personally bite you with my teeth. you are disrespecting art and the love people put into their work by pretending that an AI can even compare to it

great way to convince your favorite authors to delete their abandoned wips instead of leaving them up for people to still be able to read :/

i love minecraft waiting behaviors. Writing on a sign and you can vaguely see your friend hopping around making spontaneous parkour out of the terrain while they wait for you to finish. writing a message in chat and having the person you’re talking to crouch right in front of you or stand as close to you as possible while they wait for you to finish. Finally finishing writing in a book only to see your friend has made several new furniture pieces and/or surrounded you in a cobblestone cube that may or may not have a sign on it. theres something so charming to it

Perching like a vulture over you while you build. AFK'ing only to come back and discover your inventory full of seeds and crystals that "spontaneously" grew around you. Crouch wiggling back and forth during a conversation, and then punching the person to say bye.

btw, happy pride to all ace people who aren't sex-positive and/or have very strict boundaries about things/aren't up for sexual topics/talks and such

(happy pride to the rest of aces too!)

I just feel like there's so much push to make aces more... "likable" by saying "well a lot of aces ENJOY sexual stuff, they just don't wanna have that themselves!". And like, that's valid! But I guess some of us aces aren't as easy to market to allos and we also deserve to be around, y'know :'')

I've been pushed a lot/labelled a prude/told I was "boring" because I didn't want to get into explicit conversations, RPs or draw certain things, and like. Nah. I'm fucking tired of that. Some aces are okay with these topics, some aces aren't, but if you claim to accept and understand asexuality, you need to respect all of us, not only the aces you think that are "more fun" or "more natural".

so yeah. happy pride to all aces, even those people deem unnatural!