Crooked Young

The worst part of human adulthood is being your own zookeeper

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Mood

~♠️

me talking to a grown ass man: “oh sis…”

If santa keeps track of “naughty” kids every “year”, and the year doesn’t start until January 1st, that leaves 6 days after Christmas and New Years left undocumented, so nothing you do can be held against you.

The Purge: Season’s Greetings.

no i am going to do coke

Same

me*suddenly is very very sad* me: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

one of my friends is a very pregnant dog and like 3 times a day i say to her “hello! you are full of several other smaller dogs!” and she wags her entire body at me like “it’s true!!! i contain multitudes”

i love that ur friend is the pregnant dog. what a nice friend to have.

ya she’s my buddy i love her!

update: there were five (5) smaller dogs inside my dog friend, but now they are all outside of her instead (!!) 

GREAT UPDATE NOW YOU HAVE SIX FRIENDS!!!

ya they’re my buddies i love them!!!!!

i found my new favorite post on this website 

choose people who choose you.

i may be a depressed ugly anxious dumbass

But?

that’s all 

I hate that SEPTember OCTOber NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th, and 10th months.

Whoever fucked this up should be stabbed

If I recall, they did used to be the corresponding months.  It was just when Roman leaders Julius Caesar and Augustus came into power, the months July(Julius) and August(Augustus) were added, thus throwing off the numbering of the calender.

Good news, though: whoever fucked it up did in fact get stabbed.

i wish no one knew anything about me