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Still Here

@croatoanope / croatoanope.tumblr.com

I haven’t changed my url since 08/01/2014

Well, you know, some bathroom graffiti offers insight.

Red marker handwriting on a bathroom wall. Text reads:

“Boss made a dollar Granddad made a dime But that was a poem From a simpler time.

Boss made a thousand Gave pa a cent But that penny paid the mortgage Or at least it paid the rent

Now Boss makes a million And gives us jack Smugly blames the workers For the labor that he lacks.”

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.

Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

none of u bitches know what mistletoe looks like

THIS is HOLLY

THIS is mistletoe. fun fact, it’s a parasite plant!

holly tree / mistletoe on a host

mistletoes grow in those orb-like shapes on host trees, and, to add another fun fact: mistletoes sound a lot like their name evolved from their german counterpart, Mistel, which itself was derived from Mist - which means shit or dung.

MERRY CRISIS!

kiss me under the shitfoot plant

@silly-sketch said: MORE INFORMATION (since it was on the radio a few days ago): So mistletoe means ‘sticky poo’, because the juices inside the berries make the seeds extremely sticky. So sticky, that when birds ate and digested them their poo would get stuck on their butt. So they’d have to whipe them on tree branches, where the seeds would plant themselves into their new host.

KISS MY UNDER THE STICKY POO

I’m a writer…theoretically. But I don’t have the spark inside me it seems. Without being egotistical I know on a technical level I’m a very good writer and I like writing - but it seems like I’ve been stuck in a rut for years (I’m 23 so …it’s been a long time) with no ideas or creative juices. So many authors talk about having a story inside of them that they want to write but I feel like a barren landscape of ideas - there’s nothing! And when I do sit down and try to flesh things out into actual plot and characters, it seems to suck any of the creativity away and it becomes lacklustre. Did you go through periods of your life where writing was this hard? I want to write…but I feel like I have nothing to write. It frustrates me to know I’m wasting my talent

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You’re 23. Right now you’re gathering the material and the life experience that will give you things to write about in the future. You’re finding out what you have to say in order to say it.

There’s a reason why most writers aren’t published at 23, and it’s not because their books are rejected. It’s because they don’t have anything important to say, yet. Their lives are composting down and the stories that will grow on those compost heaps are often still only green shoots.

Don’t worry. Read a lot. Experience life a lot. Get fired. Work in some weird jobs. Get your heart broken. Discover what you have to say.

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This is my fave Noel fielding story ever in the world

I don’t even know who this is but he’s fabulous

[ID: Series of gifs of Noel Fielding on a late night show recounting a story. Noel is a white man with dark hair cut in a straight shag with bangs. He is wearing black eyeliner and a big red fluffy coat over a blue stripe t-shirt. The story is as follows. “On tour, I disappeared for two days and when they found me I was working in a vintage clothes store. Basically, I got wasted in a group of people and this girl said, ‘I’ve got to open a shop at nine in the morning.’ We said ‘We’ll all come with you.’ and one by one, everyone sort of peeled off and it was just me and this girl. So we opened the shop and she passed out on the floor. I didn’t know what to do so I just started working in the shop. I had to move her behind the desk because it looked like I murdered her. I sold a bag and two ponchos. I did quite well. I wanted to stay there forever, but then our tour bus turned up. The tour manager went, ‘Where have you been?!?!” … Working in a shop, obviously.“ End ID]

he IMMEDIATELY went ride or die for that girl

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

Him face

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Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021 (2)

REBLOG HIM FACE FOR MOST EXCELLENT LUCK ALL 2022 🖤

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I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back

I love b&w proper ladies breaking character with “sonofabitch”

"OHH you're following me, oUUhhh I didn't know that!"

It brings me such joy that people seem to have always done the *sputters and blows raspberries like you're having a stroke* thing when they stammer

If you’d like to see more of these, go on YouTube and search “breakdowns of 1938” (or 1939, 1940, etc). The editors at Warner Bros used to save them and make a blooper reel for the whole year to show at the staff holiday party.

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of "both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency" but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other

so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.

and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a "re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you" but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read "Reguardless of Professor A's opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping" and its HILARIOUS

ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED

until like LAST WEEK

professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word "husband"

and obviously all the students are like "oh i didnt know u were married!" because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine

and shes like "yeah, its Professor A"

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A's desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny