Frozen orange cream cephalopod society

Ohh shit

Dark mode has been stolen from me

Opened the app at 1:30am

There's a new update for the tumblr app that fixes dark mode

#I’m sorry but this is such a funny gif #fuck you *un-louis your soix*

it's true that simply killing billionaires would not fix problems inherent to capitalism but elon musk? you can't tell me things wouldn't be at least slightly more bearable

posts that aged VERY well

You can’t get this anywhere else

Bees choose to live in the box where they know damn well that a large fraction of the honey will periodically be removed, instead of simply leaving that place like they are perfectly able to do, because the human box comes with an invulnerable titan to guard them against all threats. The bees consider the payment offered to this colossal mercenary to be a pretty good deal.

Bees know about supply and demand

Protection money

Protection honey

glucose guardians

well the horrors may be beyond YOUR comprehension, but I comprehend them perfectly

Let me get this straight because I’ve only seen memes and am piecing this together as i go, but i think i figured out what’s happening.

Tumblr is advertising the tumblr app, on the tumblr app, using a photo of a guy in a Pikachu cosplay, because that’s what they think it will take to successfully sell this app, to people whom already use it?

But now the ball shaving ad is gone? Or is that one still in the mix?

It’s real and your timing was uncanny

Ok. Why is tumblr advertising tumblr on tumblr though? What happens when you click the ad?

*sigh*

I suppose shit like this is why tumblr gave us the option to turn ads back on. Hold on. I’ll be back after i experiment.

I’m getting plenty of ads. Real actual ads. Mattress firm. Burger King. Walmart. Actual ads. No weird Pikachu man. What is even going on here? Is he just a very infrequent ad? Is he a tumblr ploy by @staff to get those of us whom pay to be ads free to turn on ads so we can see him? Is he am actual facts ad for ads free tumblr and already being ads free means you don’t get the ads free tumblr ad? I have more questions, not fewer!

I CLICKED THE LINK And

I’m

The weirdest part is, when you click on the ad from someone who reblogged it, it sends you to a blog with just the word ‘help’ on it

What?!? No. What??!

THERE’S LORE????

Okay, so I just spent five minutes scrolling furiously until I found the stupid Pikachu man ad so I could click on it. I was dreading the possibility that this was fake.

ALT

IT ISN’T

I had already clicked the ad. I decided to click the links.

The first link takes you to the trending page.

The second takes you to the underwater girlfriend page on best of reblogs.

The third is a trash panda on dank memes.

The fourth is the horse plinko tag.

I…can’t believe that this was here the whole time. How hard do you think is was for @staff to watch us complain and not say anything?

I pay tumblr 5$ a month and thus never ever have to see ads whether I’m on browser or app, unless i go in and turn them back on. So my means of learning about Pikachu man was from memes suddenly showing up on my dash one day. So I’ve sort of just been piecing this together as I go. I just think it’s so funny though that most of tumblr saw the ad and y'all are so well trained to never ever ever click on ads, that no one had apparently thought to click the ad to figure out what the heck Pikachu man was trying to sell. Which I’m so proud of y'all! But we sincerely almost let Pikachu man come and go without this bizarrely delightful discovery.

holy shit

"In the 70s it was black and minority ethnic people, in the 80s it was gay people, trans people are just the latest to get it in the neck from comedians who can't be bothered to try at their jobs anymore. I cannot stand there and watch another dogshit comedian go: 'Ooohh if a woman can identify as a man, maybe I'll identify as a chair!' Why don't you identify as good comedians, you hack motherfuckers?!"

- Nish Kumar: "It's In Your Nature To Destroy Yourselves pt.2"

Yeah but you need to actually hear the full clip and the fury and passion and glee (because he knows he's nailing them) in his voice. (Wish I could find the audio somewhere other than Twitter, but I can't.

here it is!

She has 10 eggs omg how did her little body make so many eggs I’m going to cry

Her bird husband keeps bringing her little green worms to eat and every time she hears him outside she does these happy little chirps ahhhhh

she’s sleeping right now…

UPDATE: all ten eggs have hatched :)

UPDATE:

All ten babies are getting ready to fledge!!!

I am a few chapters from 40 and on somewhere between the third and fifth iteration of my career (it’s been a wild ride)

The things I desperately wanted to do while young I am doing now. I don’t fear aging because tomorrow’s tomorrow’s tomorrow has more promise than liability if for no other reason than I can prepare

You live long enough and you begin to recognize the curve of life, friends and companions of all forms and joys and frustrations

It’s a marathon. There are water breaks and rest areas and gorgeous scenery and friends who will run or walk or saunter or just meander with you.

There's a lot of discourse about what the label "bisexual" really means so I'd like to clarify that "bisexual" means that it occurs twice per sexual, NOT once every other sexual.

[ AA ] redrawing some of my older memes!! phoenix picks a god (elle) & prays ✨

What would even happen to you?

somebody mod this into portal and let the physics engine work it out.

The implications are terrifying.

Good news! I have the solution.

If you place a portal on a surface, and then that surface moves, the portal immediately closes. A good example of this is one of the last test chambers in the first game. There is a surface that, upon a button press, is tilted upwards at an angle. If you place a portal there and THEN hit the button, the portal disappears.

The ONE, SINGULAR EXCEPTION to this has been in Portal 2 when you are deactivating the neurotoxin generator. But it is fair to assume in all other cases a portal would not be allowed to move.

I will grant you that it may just be the limitations of it Being a Video Game. But there is no more concrete evidence to suggest they could move in reality than there is to suggest they couldn’t.

However, just for funsies, someone did in fact pull this off in-game to let he physics engine figure it out and the results are…

Well, it’s something.

Holy shit

We’ve found it. Eeby deeby.

there is not a part of him i can’t accept,

there is not a part of him i can’t love.

Keep reading

that looks like a condom and the fact that everyone in the notes is saying “the orb” proves that no one on this website fucks

the fuck kinda bouncy-ball ass condoms are you using

the fact that someone thinks that looks like a condom is proof that no one on this website fucks

as a bisexual, some of the shit y’all try to claim is “bi erasure” is just fucking BANANAS 

I AM ON THE FLOOR

They’ve struggled so much to get this one sentence out and I feel really bad

World Heritage Post

Addams Family Values (1993) Directed by Barry Sonnenfeld

I will never not re-post my statement when this gifset appears…

The fact she’s buried in the family plot says they DID accept her as an Addams.