40,000 years ago, early humans painted hands on the wall of a cave. This morning, my baby cousin began finger painting. All of recorded history happened between these two paintings of human hands. The Nazca Lines and the Mona Lisa. The first TransAtlantic flight and the first voyage to the Moon. Humanity invented the wheel, the telescope, and the nuclear bomb. We eradicated wild poliovirus types 2 and 3. We discovered radio waves, dinosaurs, and the laws of thermodynamics. Freedom Riders crossed the South. Hippies burned their draft cards. Countless genocides, scientific advancements, migrations, and rebellions. More than a hundred billion humans lived and died between these two paintings—one on a sheet of paper, and one on the inside of a cave. At the dawn of time, ancient humans stretched out their hands. And this morning, a child reached back. 

A Timeline of Humanity:

Guys.

Y’all.

I…

I just. I just… i have discovered something. And I have laughed too much. I have laughed every time I have tried to explain it to someone. I cannot get through this.

Look. Okay.

There are two things you need to know, here.

First: There’s a style of Greek pottery that was popular during the Hellenic period, for which most of the surviving examples are from southern Italy. We call them ‘fish plates’ because, well, they’re plates, and they’re decorated with fish (and other marine life).

Like this one, currently in the Met:

Or this one, currently in the Cleveland Museum of Art:

They’re very cool. We’re not 100% sure what they were for, because most of the surviving ones were found as grave goods, but that’s a different post.

The second thing you need to know is that when we (Classics/archaeology/whatever as a discipline) have a collection of artefacts, like vases, sculptures, paintings, etc. and we do not know the name of the artist, but we’re pretty sure one artist made X, Y and Z artefacts, we come up with a name for that artist. There are a whole bunch of things that could be the source for the name, e.g. where we found most of their work (The Dipylon Master) or the potter with whom they worked (the Amasis Painter), a favourite theme (The Athena Painter), the Museum that ended up with the most famous thing they did (The Berlin Painter) or a notable aspect of their style. Like, say, The Eyebrow Painter.

Guess what kind of pottery the Eyebrow Painter made?

Creepiest monster thing alive: moves like that

this little girl: 😊☺️😄😄☺️😊🤩

This is so cute omg my heart is going vrooom vroroooooom

i really like looking at google image searches for “firemen rescuing cats” or something because you get super cute pictures like

AND THEN THERE’S THIS ONE

“THAT’S RIGHT TWAS I that set the house ablaze!!!”

Dying.

Every fucking time I know what’s at the bottom and every time I still lose my shit.

I’m so happy this post is back again asdlkfjsa

HAPPY TEN YEARS TO “TWAS I THAT SET THE HOUSE ABLAZE”

Some poor suffering gobs!!

finally I got them all

What are your pet’s favourite places?

Pudding does not wish to be seen but wishes to remain warm

the way she talks like this is a childrens book is kinda giving me life

Pudding rejects the mortifying ordeal of being known

I feel confident enough to post these now. A collection of all the existing posters after some edits from the other post that got 13k notes! These are full size/quality. Go nuts.

You may use them for wallpapers, tabletop campaigns, whatever. Consider tipping me or buying a print or sticker on ko-fi here! If you do use them, let me know what for, or send pictures!

would y’all be interested in me sharing some of my main historical clothing/fashions guides since there’s been a resurgence in 19th century aus lately.

ok!

quick note (i mean, listen, everyone can do whatever they want forever, but): even tho v technically the term “regency” only covers 1811-1820, it’s often used to refer to the period between ~1795-1837. the victorian era was 1837-1901, and incidentally (since the aesthetics are super cool and i think an au in that time would be interesting), 1901-1910 was the edwardian era.

so the first resource i use is this amazing decade overview from the fashion institute of technology at SUNY. it covers a much broader swath of history than just the 19th century, but what info there is about the 19th century is indispensable and comprehensive. gives a really good rundown of a lot of different clothes and contexts

and the second is this site, bloshka, which has a lot more niche and quirky little articles and resources, as well as decade overviews that provide visual references year-by-year of fashionable hairstyles, clothing silhouettes, etc, which is incredibly useful too!!

i also recommend looking up fashion plates and advertisements in a given year, or looking at museum collections as they often have a year, or at least ballpark, attached to their garments!

also just wanna reiterate, if you wanna go anachronistic/ahistorical or switch up some elements, especially aesthetically, please do go hog wild. this is just for interest and recreation <3

in a parasocial relationship with the sea

she is all uncaring mouth but i'm giggling and twirling my hair over being swallowed whole

OH my friend are you in LUCK. I get to introduce you to one of the best websites I've ever found.

The site hosts downloads for so, so, so many defunct games. I've found MANY from my childhood that I would have never seen again. If you have that one random game you have that hazy childhood memory of, check if this place has it. There's a good chance they do.

MORE IMPORTANTLY. YOU CAM DOWNLOAD THE SIMS 2 COMPLETE EDITION FOR FREE LEGALLY FROM THIS SITE.

The Sims team officially stopped supporting The Sims 2 in 2014. When they did this they offered a free download through Origin (now EA on Windows), my copy of which i still have and play. I think you might still be able to buy it somewhere, but I don't care to check. Go get it from here.

God go have fucking fun guys holy shit I'm so glad I got to bring this to you. Also support this site it's so cool

tbh for me it was never about twilight. like, twilight 100% awoke something within me, but the truth of the matter is that I love vampires. I love transformations. I love almost-but-not-quite-human. I love secrets and shame and bursts of inhuman rage. I love biting, and blood, and horror! I love a character revealing their faults and being loved in spite of them! I love the mix of fear and admiration! I love Different Eyes and Different Skin and Different Mannerisms. I love neo-gothic aesthetics. I love the rain, and being trapped in it, consumed and blurred and obscured by the cold, unrelenting weather. I love a flannel. Teens who think they have to act like adults. Fog! Daytime as scary as night time. Rust and mold--decay. People who do not decay!!! No entropy.

Licking his cunt like it's stamps.

Is that anything?

WAIT.

LICKING HIS CUNT LIKE STAMPS BEFORE I DELIVER MY PACKAGE TO HIS BOX.

why is it always the fancylad boy-king type whos the bottom. maybe his tough loyal knight who uses his body to protect and defend him and lives to serve him wants to get railed

maybe i just like it when masc dudes with scars and calluses and a devotion complex bigger than the moon get topped by troubled prettyboys with hands thatve never worked a day in their life. who said that

Thank you for your work soldier 🫡

twilight (1/3)

@xplrreylo​ made a post about Bella stealing Jessica’s celery at lunch and I have no idea how I missed that considering how many times I’ve watched this fucking movie. Just look at this very obvious series of events.

1. sneaky glance at celery

2.  “what are you talking about this is my celery guys”

3. Jessica could be making faces at Bella’s article suggestions or she could be like why is the new girl stealing my lunch??? 

4. “cool no one noticed” 

lost in the moss

hope is a skill

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

favourite additions

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

Me every time Trump mentions DeSantis

best tweet on earth. Sublime

I’m sorry but this is literally fucking hilarious

i posted this aug 9th last year and it’s just gotten WORSE