Crazy Carl

yeehawgust 2023: yeecaw

We got bears. We got pumpkins. You got FRIDAY.

Make your weekend amazing. Be kind. Do good.

- - - - - - -

"Bears and a pumpkin" by gsloan is licensed under CC BY 2.0.

"what is he doing in there?"

when you're the only one in the party who has a functional moral compass

silly

goofy

when i was a kid my grandpa was a great depression survivor and he wouldn't waste ANY amount of food so he taught me i had to eat the apple core and i started eating the whole apple in grade school and the kids called me horse boy

🧡🎃⭐️💛🦇🍁

What better use of the Enlarge spell is there than to HUG ALL YOUR FRIENDS??? I wanted to squeeze in a last minute print for Hal-con and was torn between a beefy pinup of Karlach or a group pic, then I realised I could do both ahaha. The print version won't include my Tav tho, this one's just for me. I love all these goobers so much.

Another fun thing I do with customers - specifically parents of very small children who don’t know they’re alive yet - is directly imply I think the coffee is for the baby, not the parent. and lemme tell you, like 70% of parents eat that shit up. They immediately go along with the bit and start discussing it with their newborn child, while the baby just stares at us like 😮

Taking someone's cigarette out of their mouth: Multiple meanings - used a lot in media to convey control, power play, very masculine, I'm your boss and this is mine now, get over it. Mildly flirty, look at me, all in your space and shit, seductive. You're not allowed to smoke, because I say so.

Putting the cigarette back in their mouth afterwards: Ground-breaking. Would be less erotic to just fuck honestly. Who does this?

you ever listen to a song 47 times in a row and every time you’re like wow what a good song. I’m gonna play it again.

Guys. I do not think he was joking when he said this

Cybersmith is either the best troll the internet has ever seen, or he is just actually like that...

i think that killing a dragon should have catastrophic nuclear-fallout level environmental consequences tbh. their blood should scorch and wither the earth with fire and poison, the toxic fumes released as they decay should choke the land and all nearby living creatures, and the entire landscape where they fell should be transformed into a blighted wasteland where bleached leviathan bones loom upwards out of the ground as a warning that can be seen from miles away, the boundary markers of an exclusion zone.

Item: Skirt Wind Aid (Weighted)

I'm glad someone out there understands fashion.

Ok but for real- if yo have this problem get the stainless steel ball chain from Home Depot or something (this stuff)

And sew it into the hem of your skirts. It’s a haute couture sewing trick to keep jackets and skirts hanging right and looking crisp, Coco Chanel’s high end stuff all has it in there. It’s also a very easy aftermarket hack and since it’s stainless steel it’s machine washable.

I live near Chicago and the Windy City thing is no joke. A little bit of chain hidden in the hem and no one gets to know for sure what color my underwear is that day.

imagine being on your little dried peapod shell of a boat with your fragile little human self and then

out of the depths below

the Divine

God-Beasts

come right up to YOU

capable of crushing you without even noticing you

and ever so gently

so gently

roll back and forth around the dried leaf you're sitting on

just to maybe examine you and see what you're doing in their world.