someone should make a vanilla extract sexyman

i can’t fucking draw sexy people but if i don’t get this post out of my brain RIGHT NOW

Oh my god i love this thank you so much

i try not to judge people on their drink orders but a guy just paid £6.85 for the most disgusting beverage i have ever been forced to make. felt like i'd been complicit in a crime

matcha powder mixed with decaf coffee, vanilla paste, black pepper, turmeric and sugar syrup. it was a revolting shade of puke green and smelled like a foot.

I sent this post to my SO and they insisted on making it

how was it?

I refused to touch it with a 10 foot pole because I was scared, but SO says it was "horrendous", "so many layers of awful", and "the worst part is you can't get the flavor out of your mouth".

yeah that checks out

unfortunately i have to inform you that this guy is now a regular and forces me to recreate this beverage for him at least once a week. he calls it "the concoction".

Whatever face you made the first time brought him back

Potion of Extended Bad Taste created

My uncle, who grew up a poor immigrant on a pig farm, became a heart surgeon and keeps marrying into wealth.  His third wife is from old money.  She’s very sweet and I do love her to death but she’s completely out of touch with anyone who is not born wealthy.  She told me “Oh you simply MUST rent a villa in Italy for a summer.  It’s so great.”      Bless my uncle, he just started laughing his ass off and said, “Joan, normal people don’t do that.” 

She was so confused.  

Can “Joan, normal people don’t do that” be added to the “Harold, they’re lesbians” litany?

Seconded.

thirded

there are breasts on my roof. scampering about. wretched

th- there are what

BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS BEASTS

All of you are bad people, and should be very proud.

what the fuck is connor doing

THE SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS WIZARD OF THE SACRED REALM.

once again connor is posting this shit on the wrong website are you fucking kidding "the sexually promiscuous Wizard of the sacred realm" is like a 50k note post dude

why is this worded like a callout. "op literally eats pants??"

feel free to stop reblogging this literally any time

“but shrouded black figures are scary!” not when ur muslim. its the funniest fucking thing. this is labeled on pinterest under shit like “classic horror” “scary phone wallpaper”

but that LITERALLY just looks like a niqabi or someone in a jilbab. Like Look at this pic of me (from a self photoshoot, now w/o the dramatic lighting and dark background)

or this pic of me

or this pic of me

like its so funny i can’t be scared of shrouded figures it just looks like me.

if i saw this i would just be like “Assalam alaikum sister, dope sword you got there”

I mean I think a part of the ‘scary background’ bit is the thing where the individual in question is staring directly at the viewer from a foggy pond in a dense forest. And also the literal burning halo

sounds like a normal Friday night. if a sister wants to go on a walk in the evening who am i to stop her. if she has a burning halo that’s the will of god.

Alhamdulillah sister, Allah SWT has given you a burning halo. That’s dope

five nights at boobies

Come on man

five boobs at breasties

I'm watching The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2 out of morbid curiosity and I can't emphasize enough how ridiculously flamboyant this villain is. This isn't even queercoding. They need to invent a new word for whatever Sarousch is.

Disney executive: We need an intimidating villain for The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2. A worthy successor to Claude Frollo.

Ricky from the animation department: Thgis guy's name is Sarousch LeSérve-Cunte and if I don't animate his gay face I'll kill myself

HELLO???

Someone on Discord just told me to look up the cast on imdb in a particularly gleeful tone. I am afraid.

My friend posted this the other day and I had to share it. Her cat looks so damn pleased with himself, it’s great.

The question is: why this person has gay pride flag in her window

well man i’ll give you 4 fucking guesses

I have just learned that Mountain Goats are NOT, in fact, actual Goats.

I have never heard of this band. I AM in fact referring to the animal.

But wait, there’s more!

ARGENTINA

this is from one of the worst guides to slur reclamation I've seen but gay argentina really blindsided me why can the terminally online gayboys not settle on a flag for their digital separatist micronations

@fruity-bats BRASIL NÚMERO 1 CAMPEÃO PENTA ☝🏻🥇🏆🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷

TRANSSEXOOOOOOOOOOOO

cartoon network commercial from 2004

lol so anyway it’s basically canon. Johnny and Jack said so.

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Why is this really cute? (◕ヮ◕ヽ) their aesthetics compliment each other so well

This is the forbidden reboot couple we deserved

DUDEE AAAAAAAA-

Rebloging because this is adorbs

the phrase "ancestral sickos" now etched into my brain permanently