im so good at existing in such a normal and collected manner (there is SO much wrong with me) that my psychologist thanked me for the challenge
somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
why are people even fucking with gatcha games the wikipedia random article button is $0 and i just rolled a 10th century byzantine encyclopedia on my 17th try
your honour their married and thats their child
If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:
Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."
If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.
But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."
"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.
The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"
As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.
"I have powerful wizard magics."
Gets them every time
On it boss!!
[id: a set of 5 UNO cards upon which has been written, "Yes", "no", "I don't have a card for that", "can't talk right now 😢", and "I have powerful wizard magics 🙂". End id]
"we live in an uncaring universe"
false. i care very deeply. am i not a part of this infinite universe?
the universe is the sum of all things. you are a part of the universe. so are your friends. so is your cat that snuggles with you every night. so is the mcdonald's worker that purposefully put an extra chicken nugget in your meal. the universe doesn't just exist at a macro level, but a micro level too.
the fact that a river ends at the mouth implies that the source is the anus, and a river flows from anus to mouth
not for this one I don't think so
??????
Returns to the scene of my crime post 10k notes like I'm watching a bonfire and bringing my favorite additions to roast like marshmallows over the flames.
shaking six year old me by the shoulders YOU WERE RIGHT. YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT LOVE AND ABOUT FAIRNESS AND ABOUT SHARING IS CARING. YOU WERE RIGHT. THE ADULTS DON’T KNOW ANY MORE ABOUT TRUTH THAN YOU DO. KEEP BELIEVING IN THE FAIRIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE GARDEN. NOTHING IS “JUST THE WAY IT IS”. I AM SORRY THEY EVER CONVINCED YOU TO FEEL SHAME. YOU ARE REAL AND A PART OF THIS WORLD. YOU WERE RIGHT.
For a while now I've been wanting to try painting over the Pillars of Creation photo taken by the Webb telescope. When I was a kid I thought the earlier version looked like a bunch of dragons racing to the sky, and I think the new pic looks even more like it, so, here they are~
For reference, same crop of the photo under the cut.
lmao tumblr letting their users choose whether or not they want their likes to be public but then pulling a twitter 2.0 and showing your likes on your followers’ dashboards and specially saying who liked the posts in their new update, without the users’ consent or a way to turn it off, is actually pretty insane.
like how many times to we — the users — have to tell them we don’t want tumblr to be like any other social media platforms and that tumblr’s being different than twitter, instagram, tiktok is actually what makes us stay on this silly little site.
respectfully @staff you’re driving your users away. stop trying to “fix” things that are good and don’t need to be fixed. we want tumblr to be tumblr. we don’t want the site to be twitter or instagram 2.0
goodnight fuckers sleep tight
good morning fuckers have wonderful day peace and love
have a good day you fucker
"I forgor" is becoming a bigger impact on my vocabulary than even "It fucken wimdy"
the reason for this is it is only fucken wimdy every now and then, while I forgor happens 85 times a day.
guy in a band @ his gf: hey I wrote you a song…..kinda nervous
stacy: aww no it’s okay let’s hear it :)
@evilkitten3 actually there's some kind of poetry in the fact that the spn fandom as a gif for EVERYTHING and yet they keep using one of the most painful moment of the show to give important news and reignite trauma again.
what i know about supernatural:
-one of the brothers sucks but which one depends on who you ask
-one of the brothers is gay and the other is straight but which one depends on who you ask
-there's a gay angel and he's so gay he goes to hell about it
-harmony from buffy was there once
-something something daddy issues
-destiel is putin's retirement plan?
-tetanus
i know it's an example of me taking idioms too literally, but the phrase "when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail" never fails to make me imagine something like when that lion in madagascar starts hallucinating all his friends as slabs of steak
me when i have a hammer in my hand if i'm being fully honest
It’s always been odd to me that there are not any ocean scavengers equipped to take optimal advantage of large carcasses. Like…. in prehistoric times, the oceans were full of huge animals… was this a problem back then too?
That was a twist I was not expecting.
So I have worked on whale breakdown teams before and it is dirty exhausting work. Even a small dolphin takes multiple people working the entire day just to do one.
So I would assume that if a team of mermaids were to break down a whale, this would be a dedicated team maybe working on rotation for for a couple of months. And maybe even up to 5 to 6 months for a large sperm whale. So most likely from they would be contracted for a certain period of time. Maybe they’re only paid a lump sum after the whole contract is complete. Don’t know anything about mermaid economy or employment practices. But it seems efficient from a employment perspective.
I’ve only broken down whales on land, so you are either on a beach or in a lab setting. But I would assume that mermaids would be stationed on the drifting whale and working on it until the job is done. Maybe attaching some platforms are scaffolding to rest after work or take breaks.
Whale break down is also mostly manual labor. It is dirty exhausting work and I can see maybe young mermaids being conscripted for something like this, especially if they are poor and lack employment options or as part of punishment as a form of community service or terms of parole. The drifting carcass essentially functioning as a labor camp and the workers stigmatized by their role. Is there a such a thing as mermaid labor law? Perhaps the shifts are long, rations are tiny and working conditions poor. Got a typhoon heading in with rough seas? Suck it up. Gotta keep cutting. Blubber ain’t going to harvest itself.
Like I can easily see this as a premise for a young mermaid to try to join up with a passing human ship in search of something better. Maybe a young mermaid from poor family and a minor criminal record with nothing to look forward to other than whale salvage, joins up with a questionable human operation such as a drugs smuggling ship or some pirates or a slave ship or Royal Caribbean cruise line, you get the gist. Adventures ensue….etc