if shes your girl then why have i slowly been replacing her parts until there’s nothing left of her original body? is she then still your girl?

They ship of theseus’d my girl

Can’t have shit in Detroit

this actually perfectly demonstrates the transitive property of memes: you can replace a meme piece by piece until it only structurally resembles the original, and it is, in fact, the same meme.

call that the meme of theseus thesis

tumblrites can have a little intertextuality as a treat

my naym is ship and when i’m broke the broken part from me they toke

replace the part had been the plan but in the morn hand door car man

*me shoving transitive properties into my purse* sorry, I have to go

We owe the reddit refugees an apology for making them see posts like this

no we don’t this shit is enrichment in their new enclosure

(Bonus points if you explain how you would adapt it in the tags)

It's Muppet Pride and Prejudice, but almost every single or to-be-married character is a person and as soon as you're married you transition to Muppets. Mr. Collins and Charlotte could be Muppets the whole time, that's fine.

sorry for the delay in responding to your message. I was walking around the house with unclear intentions

“The average US president has been charged with 1.56 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 72, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted

The fact that you made this mathematically accurate made my tummy warm

Fantasy worldbuilding tip #137: most of the time, the word you're looking for is "wild", not "feral". Though the term may be used in other ways when referring to individual animals, when referring to a whole species, "feral" specifically means a group of creatures which are born wild, but are descended from domesticated stock. Thus, if you call a fantasy species that you invented "feral", you're necessarily implying that there exists a domesticated version of whatever it is.

This may in fact be what you intend, but best be explicit if you do!

I have absolutely used the term "Feral Undead" before.

Whether a zombie bound to a necromancer's will can correctly be described as "domesticated" is absolutely a question that people get in fights over in settings where such things exist.

help help help

cinematic parallels

I need everyone to see this ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE

Here's to the Glorious 25th of May, GNU Terry Pratchett

untitled god game, a video game where you play as a mischievous minor deity loose in an ancient city

it’s a lovely day in mesopotamia and you are a horrible god

You hear the citizens’ prayers and you can chose how terribly to answer them.

If people lose faith in you, you start losing your powers, but being an asshole doesn’t impact faith, people are just as convinced of your existence when they’re cursing your name.

You can try to sabotage other gods by highjacking their prayers

tasks:

press y to bestow favor

There’s a hidden task relating to copper ingots which, if completed, will grant everlasting infamy

achievement unlocked: become the god of fraud

hold up im reading more about the lionfish thing and this one island in Honduras has had such a huge problem with lionfish that the measures they have taken include

• getting special exemption from the Honduran government to allow divers access to harpoons and spears which are otherwise illegal in fishing

• public campaign to teach people how to prepare and eat lionfish (apparently they are very tasty once the poisonous spines are removed) (but watch out)

• holding lionfish combination hunting competition and cookout (reportedly they killed and cooked 1,700 in a day) (someone killed 60 of them with a rubber band spear gun???)

• most recently and apparently out of desperation, the divers in charge of culling the lionfish in the Roatan Marine Park just started. feeding the lionfish they killed to sharks. bc what else are you gonna do with it

• the sharks don’t seem to notice or be affected by the poison and begin hanging out with the divers

• the sharks then were seen hunting and killing the lionfish on their own

like this is nuts to me sorry. the sharks just had to be shown “hey this is food, did you know?? you can eat these!! here try one!!” we are possibly altering an entire foodchain bc we like feeding the big ocean wolves

here’s the article please read it

I know it's because they're invasive but it's hilarious how many different ways human have come up with to send this one fish in particular to the plinko.

On the one hand, you get Honduras: Accidentally teaching Sharks to adapt against invasive species. 

On the other hand: ‘Murrica.

One great benefit of the new “mutuals” tag showing up in my notifications...

Is that I can follow back people whom I sincerely thought I had been following for like 10+ years. Turns out, no. I was just seeing their posts being relogged throughout our immediate circle of fandom bloggers.

PSA

And speaking of scurvy, I am eternally amused by the thing where some ancient form of healing that was born in a time where people didn't know exactly how the human body works, or what causes it to stop working sometimes, that still somehow worked. Like how so many old folk medicinal plants were listed as a cure for various ailments that - from a modern view - are clearly just symptoms of scurvy, and the plant itself is rich in vitamin C.

I recall reading some story, no recollection of the exact time or place, where the king of a large empire suffered from constant horrible headaches and was incapable of falling asleep unless drugged or blackout drunk. Sick of taking temporary fixes to dull the pain and having to be sedated every night, he called up some old sage healer who was said to know how to fix things nobody else could explain, and the healer heard his symptoms and went

"Hmm. You spend too much time being a king. Your skull is packed so full of kingly thoughts that they don't all fit in there and that's why your head is in pain. You need to spend time not being a king." And prescribed him to schedule three days every month where he must go to a peasant village where nobody knows he's the king, live with a family there under a fake name and identity, work in the rice fields with them, eating the same food and sleeping on the same mats. Absolutely nobody is allowed to address him as the king, speak to him of any royal or political matters, and he himself is not allowed to think any kingly thoughts or think of himself as the king.

And naturally, this worked. Taking a regular scheduled break from a highly stressful office desk job to completely decompress, paired with physical exercise in the form of hard but simple physical labour, plain and simple food and Just Not Thinking About Your Fucking Job All The Time does help chronic stress, which here was worded as "spending too much time being a king clogs your brain."

Sometimes you do have ghosts in your blood, though I'm not entirely sure whether you should do cocaine about it.

One great benefit of the new “mutuals” tag showing up in my notifications...

Is that I can follow back people whom I sincerely thought I had been following for like 10+ years. Turns out, no. I was just seeing their posts being relogged throughout our immediate circle of fandom bloggers.

PSA

GERARD DUBOIS Moby Dick

this is legendary because you as you go you see the photo itself and you’re “oh this is some symbolic / surrealist art” and then the TITLE hits you like a shotgun shell

This is talking about Paul McCartney by the way.

It’s what

OK here’s the context:

This person writes fanfic about real life musicians from the 60s, including mpreg. They’re also openly homophobic. Someone made a post joking about Davy Jones from the band The Monkees being gay and OP went off on them about how disrespectful it is to headcanon real life people who are still alive as being gay. OP’s inbox got flooded by people pointing out that they themselves write fic about actual real life people who are still alive being mpreg’d but they insist it’s totally different you guys I swear and had a meltdown.

Also, the fic isn’t actually about Paul McCartney, it’s about Paul Simon from Simon & Garfunkel being impregnated by Lily Tomlin.

y’all i kinda just assumed this was an old 2014ish post circulating, but the original post was made yesterday. as in like, on May 19th 2022

FINLAND ROBBED

ROBBED!