Twitter has simultaneously stopped showing if a retweet is a retweet - while people are already complaining at length about seeing tweets from people they don't follow, so hiding this will just make more people angry - and has changed their icon to the doge meme in what may have been a April Fools Day joke that was scheduled two days late. Amazing

The doge has dead pixels. They cut it out in paint

what the fuck is twitter

Wait. What's a Wyoming?

mutuals do this!!!!

babygirl I'm about to get into discourse you've never even heard of

Last night I dreamt I had to catch a rare golden cockroach for scientists and then naturally we went to a sex club to celebrate where a girl sat on my face but she complained the whole time and said “it’s like you’re thinking about cockroaches or something”

you have to sexualize me its for my mental health

The horrors… they are truly astonishing… (not being cuddled)

janine is the only one playing this game right send tweet

*sext* I'd take care of you when you're not feeling well and I'd gently run my fingers through your hair while you sleep soundly on my chest

I haven’t been posting much because I’m a PhD student and it’s finals and I’ve soooo much work to do between teaching/marking my own students and doing my own research and meeting my own deadlines. I’ve literally been reading this one book 16 hours a day for the past 3 days because I need to know what it says by Monday. But today something finally broke in me and… 😳😳😳 the book is starting to make me ambiently horny 😳😳😳 and I’ve been half hard for like two hours now 😳😳😳

If you want to help me through this confusing and stressful time, I’m severely underpaid and little gifts from my wishlist make my day!

Demon girls pspspsps. I have treats. *shakes box*

she's so cute and passionate and nerdy and cool

i wanna suck her cock

hail satan ♥

i think that presenting cannibalism as a metaphor for intimacy was perhaps one of the greatest things we ever did as a society. Like you’re telling me you want to eat me, make me a part of you, consume me? that’s so romantic, tell me more, i love you

weird little man

^is thinking about a messy kinky t4t orgy again

i don't want to look "hot" i want to look alluring, haunting, bewitching. i want to look like the kind of person hozier would write a song about.

Yeah my partner and I actually got engaged because in a boyfriend4boyfriend relationship it was getting too dangerous to browse tumblr. One of us was always getting pickled or being threatened by a tsunami or trapped in a narrative. It was really cutting into our quality time.