HAPPY HALLOWEEN! =*

i looked at queeringthemap today and had a good cry but these especially touched me

yeah.

some of you need to make your bed and have a shower with a soap that smells nice, and then sit in a chair near the window and have tea with milk and read a hardcover book and see how your creative block is after that tbh.

i'm not saying creative block isn't a real or difficult phenomenon. i'm saying creatives have a tendency to neglect themselves physically and emotionally in favor of manic bursts of productivity. a little softness and clean sheets and a bagel will go a long way. make a playlist and light the fancy candle you've been saving for a special occasion. life is a special occasion.

Always a good reminder.

tumblr finally getting its shit together and improving the user experience right around the time when all the other social media sites are collapsing due to greed and hubris is like the kids who got out of their small town to move to the big city finding love and settling down in their 30s just in time to watch their high school bullies get divorced

If you went to a bar and the bartender was a mousegirl you could ask for a drink and she would balance it on her head and say "for you, it's on the mouse"

She makes a mean whisker sour

Does she have anything non alcoholic?

Just putting all these pics together in one post

And, because this series wasn't cheesy enough:

This is a comment someone appended to a photo of two men apparently having sex in a very fancy room, but it’s also kind of an amazing two-line poem? “His Wife has filled his house with chintz” is a really elegant and beautiful counterbalancing of h, f, and s sounds, and “chintz” is a perfect word choice here—sonically pleasing and good at evoking nouveau riche tackiness. And then “to keep it real I fuck him on the floor” collapses that whole mood with short percussive sounds—but it’s still a perfect iambic pentameter line, robust and a lovely obscene contrast with the chintz in the first line. Well done, tumblr user jjbang8

I hate that my aesthetic sense agrees with this but everything you just said was correct

I went back to dig up this post because I was thinking about poetry.

This is one of those non-poem things that are among my favorite poems.

As the OP stated, the use of alliterative consonants is aesthetically just great, especially the placement of the strongest use at the end: “fuck him on the floor.” The use of “chintz” is indeed great word choice.

Because I’m insane, decided to scan the poem:

Not only is the second sentence, indeed, perfect iambic pentameter, the entire poem is perfectly metered, though the first sentence has four iambs rather than five.

There are further things I love about this poem, though: I like the casual connotations of “keep it real” juxtaposed with “chintz.” It causes me to interpret the “chintz” more strongly as meaning something fake, a facade. There is also of course the coarseness of “fuck,” which is a contrast with “chintz” but a different kind of contrast, gutsy and carnal where “chintz” is flimsy and inanimate.

And then there is the storytelling: there is SO MUCH storytelling in just these two lines. To break it down: The speaker is having sex with a married man, in the house he shares with his wife, which is “filled with chintz”—something that here connotes fakeness, in contrast with “keep it real.”

The illicit encounter in the poem takes place within a house filled with facade, the flimsy construction of the wife’s marriage and domestic sphere, but the encounter itself is a taste of something “real.” That’s a story, and it’s just two lines.

This is EIGHTEEN SYLLABLES, y’all. The amount of meaning condensed into these eighteen syllables is stunning, and it is so elegantly done.

From a technical standpoint (and ive taken 300- and 400-level poetry classes so I can say this) this is damn near flawless as a poem.

Kept thinking about this ever since I saw it and had to do something

there's art now

Ah dang to go further; the floor is framed as a refuge. As if there is literally no other space in this house that hasn't been populated by his wife with flimsy inanimate fakery. There is no space for this man in this house save for the floor. There is no space for him on the sofa, oon the counter tops, and most notably, no space for him in the marital bed.

I’d also like to point out the use of the word “has.” The wife has filled the house with chintz. She isn’t filling the house with chintz. She doesn’t fill the house with chintz. She has filled the house with chintz. Use of the past-tense makes the wife a subtly removed element in the story, someone whose presence we see in the environment, but who is blissfully distant during the actors throes of passion. There is an element of physical as well as emotional separation from the wife that is catalyzed by being fucked on the floor. Use of the past tense is an end to the wife presence in the actors life, a carnal catharsis amid cold fragility and emotional distance.

This is my new favourite post in the world

everyone cheer for the one (1) time tumblr had reading comprehension

I can't get over "and comes fucks me".

This video ruined all those aesthetic photos of fog for me. I can’t see a foggy landscape without this video playing in my head.

It's Comes Fucks Me Wednesday babes

Unironically waiting for the bus in the rain rn. Real ones know ✌️🌧️🚌☔

I've been here for over an hour soaking wet and pathetic and a truck driving by fully stopped in the street and reversed into the parking lot behind me. This older gentleman got it and came up to me and said "can I give you a gift?" And I asked "what's that?" And he gave me an umbrella from his truck and left. Now I'm dryer. The world is full of kindness and beauty btw. If you even care. Message to all my sopping wet sweeties

an important addition

creacher

@akiwitch

me when the emotionally repressed character is revealed to have had something happen in their childhood that was completely out of their control but changed them in a way they can never come back from

[Pixelated cartoon of a person sobbing in anguish.]

a dude came into the library stoned out of his mind and was like, “do I need a library card to look at books?” And I said, “to take books home, yes. To look at them, no” and he looked so relieved. bro was staring at a fish encyclopedia for like an hour and then just left.

this is literally all society needs to be

unironic number one most important and useful writing tip I can give you is to make your women weirder. If your female characters are feeling flat or one dimensional give them a odd lil obsession or hobby. ESPECIALLY the sexy characters add a little “strange and offputting” spice in there and I’ll 1000% guarantee they’ll become better. Listen to me. Listen to ME it’ll work or your money back let the femme fatale give live newts to people as thanks and she’s become a more engaging and realized person.

what is everyone’s media property that they think is good but would get their pretentious card revoked. like i’m talking no irony you think this property is genuinely brilliant and deserves critical acclaim. i will go first. this is us nbc

every now and then I think about the giant crocodile goddess from runescape and sigh dreamily

milf

she literally just sits around all day eating delicious food, drinking wine out of a jug the size of a bath tub getting her pussy blasted like??? goals on every level

Fingerless gloves are the thigh highs of hands. I will not elaborate

wrong. ballroom gloves are the thigh highs of hands. fingerless gloves are the booty shorts of hands.