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Gay Nerd

@cow-girl-horns

She/Her
Transfem and 19
@beatlebambi is my boyfriend :3
This account is now more me being horny And sometimes marine biology and one piece
Feel free to dm me

Pinned Post time

Basic Stuff: I’m 19, transfem she/her, etc. I’m a huge nerd and recently have been exploring kink more

Kinks: big ones are degradation and pet-play (cow themed..obvi). Hucow and all that entails as well<3 But many others too. Im quite the monster Fucker, like bondage, humiliation, water-sports(tho I’m embarrassed about it). Probably more I’m forgetting

If you read this and feel so inclined, if you dm me and ask me to moo for you I will, then become very flustered and melt right in front of your eyes<3 feel free to take advantage of this(me)

DNI if a child obvi, 18+ only . I block liberally lmao

my friend asked me to pretend to be her boyfriend because her parents are homophobic af but they ended up hating me so much that they were glad when she said she was gay task failed successfully

okay so

  • be a goth. conservative christian parents don't approve of goth men. show up to their house wearing all kinds of satanic symbols if you can
  • know more about religion than the parents. they'll try to introduce you to christianity because you don't exactly look like a christian but your dad's an ex priest and has a phd in theology so *cracks knuckles* you'll correct them on every little mistake they make
  • call your fake girlfriend every annoying petname under the sun. i'm talking about babu, shmoopie, snuffleupagus. when you run out of annoying english terms of endearment call her shit like "my liver" or "my little cabbage" (actual greek terms of endearments but the parents won't know this they'll just think you're annoying :3)
  • to continue this, talk to your fake girlfriend in the most high pitched annoying voice possible but talk in your regular voice to everyone else
  • stare at her older brother's ass for just a little too long
  • have an annoying laugh. think of sybil fawlty but a stereotypical villain playing a church organ in his castle
  • let them quote bible verses to you. then ask "so when were those two destroyed for sodomy?". it's very funny to do this when judas kisses jesus, and it's even funnier when you've just corrected them over a minor mistake in church history
  • ask WHY abraham was begging for sodom. it doesn't make sense to you why a good christian man would go and beg for tha-
  • be over possessive of your fake gf (dont really do this, it's just an act)
  • go and fuck her brother in an alleyway. the parents won't know about this so it's an optional step
  • use words no one knows the meaning of. do this without realising because you always talk like that
  • just be yourself! that's enough on its own to make them despise you tbh

yes

i kissed him on the lips infront of his parents and claimed it was the usual greek greeting between men is that enough for you

Are you…. Are you secretly dating her brother OP?

yes

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I wonder why

Show up again to admit to dating the brother, but dress like a typical suburbanite and act like you've never met the parents before. Absolute power move.

asdgfgsjfh im totally doing this

want an update?

ofc you do

but i'm too tired to write all of what happened down right now so instead try to imagine the most awkward situation you've ever been in.

now multiply the awkwardness by 100

first of all i'm just gonna show the difference in what i was wearing

an example of what i would wear as my friend's fake bf:

and as my boyfriend's actual bf:

when my bf and i showed up his dad did such a double take

sooo yeah my bf told his parents he's gay, they looked surprised but told him it was fine... then they shared a look of pure horror (seriously, it was like they had just found out they're in the matrix) and said

"and uh. why is...he here?"

i went and introduced myself like we had never met before and said i was their son's boyfriend

:3

i've never seen two people look more angry before but they weren't gonna say anything because they had other family members over

the family members who had never met me before and therefore knew nothing about the fake relationship thing started asking me what faith i am. i said i was raised protestant, though i'm not very religious now, but that's something i want to change. i had never mentioned anything about being a protestant before and i had said several times that my family was greek orthodox but gaslight gatekeep girlboss

aaaand then the awkwardness began. those were probably the most awkward minutes of my life (we didn't stay for long because i thought the dad was gonna hit me [he probably was. i saw him clenching his fists several times]) and i don't think anyone has ever looked at me with such murderous intent as my bf's parents

update two electric boogaloo ig

i have a girlfriend now🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍⚧️

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I like boobs!

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ahhhhh shitt shit fuck. post cancelled y'all. i forgot to fill out my paperwork

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Gotta love people responding with "Where's our form 3:<" as if this post isn't explicitly about transmisogyny.

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tumblr changelog if staff wasn't idiots and actually understood how to get its current userbase to pay for ad-free browsing

  • posts marked as Mature no longer show up at all on the iOS version of the app, content policies relaxed, distinction between "Nudity" and "Sexual Content" added in community labels
  • literal fully-clothed images and drawings of trans people are no longer marked as "Sexual Content" what the fuck is wrong with you people
  • blocking someone gives you the option to also block them from selected sideblogs
  • option when filtering tags/etc. to fully hide filtered posts instead of displaying the "show anyway" thing
  • "Mutuals-Only" reblog permission

and obviously undoing the search suppression on some common lgbt tags and doing the inverse for popular terf/nazi tags would be a step in the right direction if you want to claim your website is the "queerest place on the internet"

you guys are NOT dumb enough to actually believe "guys if we all bought crabs that would show staff that we like tumblr the way it is and theyll stop changing it" please use your brains

decorating the pack house with pictures of the pack's prized bitches before and after they got turned into a musk-addicted knot slut or knocked-up breeding cow or stretched-out piss bitch

y’all have GOT to stop putting that stupid “crab day” post on my dash, op is a terf and tumblr isn’t your starving artist friend who needs a gofundme to make it to tomorrow. this site is a company above all babes, don’t forget that they’re flagging queer user content as explicit at a disproportionately higher rate and still refuse to do anything about the porn bots and literal nazis.

your chest getting bigger one day, and you ask your friends for advice, but nobody knows what's going on, and your chest keeps getting bigger over time,,,

eventually your roommate says that it maybe your body is just meant to have a big chest, and nothing else makes sense so you go along with it,,,

and your chest is getting so heavy that it's hard to ignore, and it gets sore so you massage your breasts, only to realize that they've become really sensitive,,,

but next you start lactating, and your roommate suggests that maybe your body is just meant to be a cow, and nothing else makes sense so you go along with it,,,

your milk starts coming out harder, and your roommate suggests that she help you pump it out. and you, so confused and turned around, are so glad to accept her help.

so she starts milking you, and the first day you can mostly stay composed, but after that you can't help but letting out small noises, at first just gasps or whines, but you start moaning, and your roommate keeps telling you that maybe you're just meant to have such a slutty body,,,

until you're completely addicted to her milking, and she starts stroking your crotch while she milks you,,, and over time, she keeps doing more, and more, until she's fingering you until you cum,,,

and it starts off as once a day, but then goes to twice, then three times,,, and you're so addicted to being milked and cumming that you've become your roommate's toy,,,

all the while not realizing that she was the one who slipped you something in the first place ♥