blank & blank

it's 1am kakashi doodle time babes

it's 1am kakashi doodle time babes

i live in the most haunted house in the northern hemisphere because i keep buying cursed dolls and cracking them open like pistachios to release the ghosts inside em. see i've got this business idea and it's to unethically harvest their ectoplasm and sell it in little jars like honey. unfortunately i've hit a snag, namely that ectoplasm tastes like shit and also if you ingest it you permanently lose the capacity to feel joy. so now i've got a bunch of unsatisfied customers who are literally impossible to please banging on my door at all hours. it doesn't really matter though because the ghosts are already constantly slamming all my doors and cabinets so it's just a wall of sound in here at all times anyway. i'm pretty sure i've got tinnitus now but on the upside i've got this new business idea where i repair old dolls with kintsugi and sell them at a ridiculous markup to etsy women in cuffed corduroy pants.

"i cant watch shows about fantasy kingdoms without thinking about how they should be abolishing the monarchy" that my friend sounds like a skill issue

if im watching the lord of the rings extended edition i am a monarchist for 682 minutes

via @nevertrustanoracle

Y'know what? Yes. Thank you. I have been trying to find the words for why this phenomenon bothers me.

"So-and-so's silence on such-and-such is pretty damning." No, it's really not. They are a twitch streamer, not your elected representative.

bonus points if you tell me what you would say

You find yourself stuck in an elevator with your icon and your username. How happy are you?

please pass this around to all of your classmates, i don’t want anyone saying they didn’t get to vote

i think we should all go back to carrying cheap little plastic mp3 players that look strangely edible and only hold like 200 songs

listening to unwritten just as natasha bedingfield intended

"i'm not triggered or upset by or even ideologically opposed to it, i just associate it with something so bad that i can't enjoy it anymore" is such a frustrating relationship to have with a piece of media

it’s covered in the fucking ooze!!

I've said this before but Why do people position "themes and analysis" and "shipping" as mutually exclusive opposites. maybe I find two characters thematically interesting and want them to analytically fuck about it.

they would NOT fucking have communication skills that good

#technically they know and understand each other better than anyone else alive#but they communicate that in the most fucked up insane unnecessarily complicated way and think thats normal

Today a dental hygienist said I have "very stringy saliva" and I still have no idea what that means or how I'm meant to feel about it

Diagnosed with "hentai saliva"

Blocked.

No no no. This can all stop here.

too bad. investing at 994 notes.

Why you do this?

investing at 1,484 notes

Is Chris Evans Steve Rogers or is Steve Rogers Chris Evans?

good

“Fellas, is it gay to be a good father?”

Shout out to Harry Hill

I think Piers is somewhat of a national laughing stock by now

if I don’t reblog a good burn on piers morgan, assume I’m dead

The logic of “Brands will only hop on the train if they can prove it’s profitable” makes it so much funnier when they clown on this fool. “Yeah we crunched the numbers and we found it to be profitable to call this clown out in public. Jacob hit the post button.”

Had to include this tags cause i also catched people not getting the issues and this person explained it best

i love when fic writers who have clearly never tried any kind of alcohol in their lives try to write someone drinking bc they're always like

"he ordered a tall glass of hard liquor. after three large glasses he was feeling tipsy" like babygirl i can't be sure but i think u just sent this man to the hospital

Damn right!

please look at this picture junji ito drew of his moms crusty white dog