“Just we two” Postcard from my collection. Copyright 1907, mailed 1909.

[ID (copied from alt text): Black and white photo of two white cats on a cushion or folded blanket. A shorthaired adult cat is on the right while a fluffy long haired white kitten is snuggled into her on the left. They appear to be a cozy mother and kitten, cuddled and relaxed. End ID]

you’re laughing. i told you a joke and you’re laughing. i love you

wishing everyone a low pain and manageable symptom day youve got this.

some time ago i introduced the phrase "food pact" to my friends as a shorthand for "i'll go make and eat food if you also make and eat food" and ever since then ive just started incorporating more pacts into my life. stay hydrated pact. stretch break pact. stop doomscrolling and go to bed pact. we need to bring this back in vogue more people should be making pacts imo

the best part of this is when you ask "who wants to do a shower pact" and you get a half dozen friends all rolling up saying "the pact is sealed". faustian behavior

early homo sapiens b like help i cant stop making bowls . help i cant stop domesticating plants and animals. help i cant stop developing language and architecture and religion

ok im obsessed w this tag

once in grade 6 I saw a 'pottery making club' in a ditch on the schoolyard- I assume at some point someone realized there was actually good quality clay in the ditch and when I walked up there were about a dozen 12 year olds sitting around the few girls who had brought their water bottles out to mix the clay, and a designated spot to put the finished bowls and tablets, and people going off and collecting sticks to make designs with and i really think that's the natural state of the human race

In elementary school I learned that you can make paint out of certain sedimentary rocks on the playground if you crushed them and mixed with water and at one point I had up to 25 kindergarten through third graders making cave paintings on the underside of the slides

The nature of man is such that every so often, someone recreates the neolithic era.

Yeah, every recess

A period of free time where inexperienced but intelligent people with lots of ideas and creativity make the best of what they got.

Recess and the neolithic era have a lot in common.

I'm not an expert, I know nothing about ornithology or biology or zoology or wildlife science or animal behaviours or animal intelligence, but sometimes I think about the fact that birdwatchers in Toronto observed a raven learn how to mimic crow calls, make a nest with a crow and raise a pair of crow-raven hybrids the birdwatchers referred to as cravens and I just think. That's gotta be love, baby.

journal comics

#6 august

Have you guys seen that clip

Go off Kermit

@mx-anthony-janthony-crowley

my personal character design opinion

alternatively

peak character design right here

this right here is the best reblog so far

— Warlock, probably

@meowl00 @personification-of-anxiety @gayvetforlife

Warlock becomes a stand up comedian when he grows up. He becomes the John Mulaney of his time. This is his equivalent of “one black coffee”.

I can totally envision Warlock’s version of the duck story!

One day when I was ten, the gardener comes into the house soaking wet and says, in that voice one usually reserves for toddlers or small animals, “Ah! One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!” And then Nanny yelled, “Ooh, ducklings!” To which the gardener replied, “Too old to be a duckling. Quack, quack.” And then walked into the kitchen. I think about that every goddamn day.

I can’t believe I never saw this until now. Headcanon accepted. This is beyond hilarious. Also….

I can’t believe this one was hidden in the replies.

“I love my family, or at the very least people would assume so. People would think that growing up as a politician’s son would be easy, and they are right. I got everything that I ever asked for, spending money the only way Rick People could spend money.

“Dad! I want a Pony” Boom, Pony is at my feet

“Dad! I wanted it black” Boom. Done. Pony now looks like it crawled out of the Black Lagoon.

“Dad! The Pony glared at me!” I get a bottle of glue the next day. I was living the Rickie Rich lifestyle. I can have anything I want.

But the best part of growing up rich, the absolute best part, was that we were able to afford our own nanny.

I love her so much but am goddamn terrified of her to this day. I am a 28 year old man and I live in my own bodyweight of fear towards her.

When I was 1 to when I was 11, we had a nanny in our house. Her name is Nanny. If you call her anything else you will die. Somedays I think that my parents made a Rumpelstiltskin Deal with her before I was born, where instead of taking baby me she just moved in to our house to raid our fridge and judge the world from lofty windows. This is just the first part of the mystery of my nanny.  

She dresses like she is preparing to go to a funeral. And the difference between preparing to go and actually going is that they hadn’t found the body yet. You know when friends say that they would kill someone for you? Nanny would gut a cat if I wanted to play the violin that’s how hardcore she was. She wore red sunglasses because her glare alone could turn anyone to stone. If you squint hard enough you can actually see lasers coming out of her eyes.

Now you need to remember, I lived with this woman for Ten Years. Since I was a baby. This shit was normalized to me. While my parents were in West Wing I was living in the Addams Family. Nanny loved me and raised me and so what if she told me that I was going to lead Satan’s Army someday. That’s just Nanny. But throughout all of this, I never truly understand how terrifying she could be until I was 8 years old.

Picture this: a little 8 year old me, plump and trimmed with baby fat, standing next to Mary Poppin’s evil twin. One day we were going out for brunch so I can, and I’m quoting here “practice giving out orders when the army of hell arrives”

I’m still waiting for them, just to let you know.

So we get inside Nanny’s car, an old Black 1933 Bently which plays nothing but Queen music on cassettes.

I know this sounds fake, but she is a real person and not some Baba Yaga who decided not to eat me.

As we were about to leave, Brother Francis ran out to us. Francis was out gardener. He worked for us for as long as Nanny has, wears suspenders and a sun hat, and I’m pretty sure he ran away from a monastery. He walks up to Nanny and asks for a ride to the local gardening store for supplies. So he gets in the front seat, I’m in the back, and all three of us get on our way.

At 1000 miles per hour in a 55 zone.

Now I’m 8 years old. And no matter how cool your Nanny is, you just don’t pay attention to boring adult stuff like meetings, or finances, or traffic safety laws. So I’m lost in my own thoughts on how to direct my hell army to build myself a waterpark.

I don’t know how long I zoned out because when I snapped back in Nanny and Francis were arguing. Not in the pleasant passive aggressive way that makes you rethink your life choices, but full on yelling. So we are speeding down the road like death is chasing us. Bohemian Rhapsody is playing on blast. Nanny and Francis screaming at each other. Sulfur filled the air, radiant light pulsed menacing around us. Exactly how I imagined what parents fighting would be like. Things came to a head right as Freddy was about to hit his last “For Me!” because that was when this meek looking gardener snapped. Francis turns to Nanny and screams “YOU’RE DRIVING TOO FAST!” yanks the cassette out and pitches it out the window.

And then time stood still.

Have you ever been on a rollercoaster where at the top of the first hill staring down you regret every decision you’ve ever made that led you to this point? That was where we were all at.

Because there were three rules to Nanny’s Bently. Nanny always drives. Nanny always drives fast. And Nanny always drives fast with Freddy Mercury blaring down like her own personal angel.

This is all new uncharted territory for me. I’ve never seen anyone even dare disrespect her angel and plan to live to tell the tale. I was just watching in fascinated horror as this moment just searing into my mind.

Nanny’s looking directly at Francis, you can feel her eye’s heat laser’s charging up. I was trying to think of reasons to tell my parents why we don’t have a gardener anymore. Because even at 8 years old I know a death marker when I’ve seen one and by the end of the trip I was expecting Francis to be nothing but a smoldering piled of ash and a $15 hat.

She looks at him, and takes one hand off the wheel. Still barreling down the road like a madman mind you. But it alright because time’s frozen so we don’t hit anything. And with one hand, she reaches in front of him to the glove compartment, gently pulls out another cassette tape, and places it in the deck.

[pauses]

[sings] “FOR ME!!!!!”

We pull into the parking lot by the time Bohemian Rhapsody ends and I have never looked at Nanny the same way ever again. Because anyone who can play the exact same song on two different cassettes without missing a beat is their own god and needs to be feared.”

-Warlock in his comedy special

OH MY GOD I’M CACKLING

That’s it. The “Warlock grows up to be John Mulaney” AU is the only AU I’m here for.

yes please

@thirteens-pocket-watch

Yeah you're right. It WOULD be pretty fucked up if you were a swan but you were raised by ducks and you grew up never seeing another swan or even knowing that such a thing as a swan even existed so you just thought you were a duck with something super wrong with it.

being in your early 20s is crazy bc there’s people who are literally married and people who’ve never even dated and people who are trapped in their childhood bedrooms waiting to get out and people who are trying to live out romanticized dream lives and people who are completely on their own and people with multi tiered support systems and we’re all supposedly peers and none of us think we’re doing it right at all

wanted to paint these owls

[ID: An illustration of an owl preening its mate in a tree (left) followed by the photograph the scene is recreated from (right). End ID]

anyway. mentally i am riding bikes with the muppets

The pain is more incredibly annoying than unbearable

I can bear it but come on