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Stars and space

@cosmilkshake

Hey, I'm Matt and I like to draw and I'm schizophrenic. He/him and They/Them pronouns 19 years old. Gay as fuck. Commissions are open!!

I’m back

Well Kinda, I’m back on a new account. Gonna just reset everything in a way. If anyone cares about my art or just wants to know how I’ve been I’m on @junkyardgems now, got a new main gemsona aha. But yeah, it would be nice to see y’all again!

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my dad did end up getting a little electric push-lawnmower instead of the scythe, which, okay, FINE, no scythe time for Ship—but the on/off button for the mower is shaped like a coffin, so we have named the machine The Reaper

every time I use it I wonder if Death has upgraded for the modern era or if he likes to stick with the traditional scythe

He obviously uses a combine harvester to keep up with the growing population

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This is objectively very funny but I like it less than the lawnmower because my costume potential drops significantly.

I'M LOSING MY SHIT AT THESE REPLIES HOLY FUCK

I gave my players a ring of punching. As soon as you put it on, you are compelled to immediately punch the nearest creature as hard as you can. If no other creatures are within reach, punch yourself.

Another one I gave was a murder dagger. It was a +1 dagger, but all damage it dealt was instead converted into number of hours the target would spend being harassed by summoned crows.

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every time you sneeze you steal it from someone else. theres only ever 1 sneeze in the world

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if two people sneeze at the same time they’re borrowing the sneezes from each other very quickly

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It’s like that electron thing

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Its exactly like that electron thing

I was going to rewatch 1931 Dracula again tonight and just as I turned it on a BAT started flying around at my window and wouldn’t go away and I’ve never seen a bat at my house before and let me tell you I’ve been so gay touched starved this quarantine I was about ready to risk letting a wild bat in my room if it meant it could possibly be one tall, Sexy vampire

Ah rabies

But what if the bat was from my secret gay vampire admirer

Spent the last four hours or so starting on a new project: mapping the locations of famous horror movies set in America. It’s a work in progress, y’all’ see more when I’m done.

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this is like when the RAF tried to figure out where to armour their bombers by looking at the distribution of bullet holes; the empty area on the map is where nobody lived to tell the tale.

It follows population density pretty closely except that the desert Southwest is over represented. Is that because it’s close to Hollywood? Cheap to shoot in? High density of chupacabras?

That’s just where the spooky is. Everything else is just noise from large populations.

Since @argumate​ brought this back, here’s what the map looks like today:

I started adding any horror movie at all, not just well-known ones. Also, it’s global now!

@cominyern​ Subgenre! 

  • Red is killer/slasher/psychological
  • Blue is monster/creature
  • Yellow is ghost/spirit/demon
  • Green is alien
  • Black is zombies
  • Purple is vampires

It lets you look at some cool regional trends, like how ghosts are huge in New England while aliens and vampires have a cluster in the Southwest.

that the original had a lot of black in Pittsburgh is unsurprising, given where a certain George Romero came from, but it now has an interesting relative density and variety.

(i blame the Tom Savini practical effects school in Monessen, personally)

I wish this was an interactive map I want to find and watch my “local” horror movies!

Ask and you shall receive! Here’s a link to explore the map for your local horror movies!

sometimes I remember that my mother, who has never heard of tumblr dot com, had the most white-hot take on Good Omens I have ever encountered. she heroically read the book at the urging of her hyperfixated fourteen year old daughter and when I asked her opinions she said something that will haunt me forever. the fandom is honest-to-God not ready.

when I asked her whom she imagined while reading about Crowley she said Danny DeVito

loudest noises: -dad sneezes -mom yells -trying to get a pot out of the pot cupboard -dropping the shampoo bottle in the shower -flushing the toilet at 3am in the morning -IMAX

I’ve compiled every raw ass quote from tumblr shitposts into my phone and i’m gonna use every single one of them in my campaign at some point.

peruse my quotes, if u want

So I recently got a wealth of new quotes to add to the list, thanks to @gayotic-stupid ! DISCLAIMER: Very few of these are from tumblr shit posts. Like my previous reblog, some of these are just cool quotes you can use in your writing or your dnd campaign. Reblog away!

  1. “I’ll do whatever you want" “Then Perish”
  2. I thought there were no heroes left in this world
  3. You kneel before my throne unaware it was born on lies
  4. Take this gift, for the gods surely won’t
  5. God wishes he were me
  6. God gave me depression because if my ambitions went unchecked I would’ve bested him in hand to hand combat by age 16
  7. “I know you’ve all heard talk of being the emperor’s chosen and heroes of the Imperium, but the truth is, you are essentially nothing to this Imperium. You’re farmers, workers, and criminals, picked to be a part of the most expendable force known to man. You will be sent into battle. You will be sent often. Many of you will die, and you will die often. I do not expect you to like it, but I am asking that you accept this and make your peace with it.
  8. My father taught me as a child that if you shoot for the moon and miss, the cold vacuum of space will suck out your eyeballs. Failure is not an option. Go kill them.
  9. All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in the rain.
  10. You are alone, child. There is only darkness for you, and only death for your people. These ancients are just the beginning. I will command a great and terrible army, and we will sail to a billion worlds. We will sail until every light has been extinguished. You are strong, child, but I am beyond strength. I am the end, and I have come for you.
  11. To feel sorrow is to deserve peace.
  12. No pet is perfect, it becomes perfect when you accept it for what it is.
  13. You could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature 
  14. You cant shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding.
  15. No one will know the violence it took become this gentle.
  16. Theres no light at the end of the tunnel so it’s a good thing we brought matches.
  17. It’s not my job to pry, it’s the government’s. 
  18. And lo, he did reach into his bag of talent, and verily, it was found to be barren -Yamaha 10:99
  19. Every comment is a prayer, bringing me closer to emerging from my cursed plane. Thank you for heralding the apocalypse this old god brings.
  20. People say “phase” like impermanence means insignificance. Show me a permanent state of the self.
  21. The answer to dispair is action 

EDIT: “you’ll be reduced down to a single atom once im done with you” because its fucking hilarious in context and raw as fuck without it

Anime cliches I miss because they don’t really do them any more

The sweatdrop

Liberal use of the V sign, even in situations that did not call for it and does not require a camera to be present.

Falling over because someone said or did something so incredibly stupid it made you lose all strength and will to live.

When they do the anime face thing

Making characters squishy

the dignity laugh

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theres a special place in my heart for the dignity laugh

This is the first 100% pure and good post I’ve seen on this hellsite in years

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I do actually miss the dignity laugh. Bring these back!

oh man do i miss 80s and 90s anime

I' love to see a funny art of Blue and Yellow trying to avoid the "disease" that's infected White and Pink by over-wearing health and safety equipment. Like Yellow in a hazmat suit with a gas mask and Blue wearing a face mask, wearing several layers of gloves equipped with a tool belt of hand-wash, toilet paper, wipes, disinfected spray and hand-sanitizer. It'd match well from the part 2 art of their reaction of White and Pink.

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maybe i’m just going slowly insane but the picture they used in this article about gay people walking fast i found today while procrastinating on my writing is driving me to hysterics. there are actual tears running down my face right now.

is he… yknow…

*mr. Krabs walking noises*