charity ☹

once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away

Had to when I saw the quote lol

I love Jason sm 😂

Og post @batfam-imagines

Is that a boner in your pocket or are you just. banana to see me.

AUTISM RULES.

i thought the "AND THE CROWD GOES HOME" style jokes were very funny but unfortunately my autistic ass has now become obsessed with just spamming these emojis on everything i say for dramatic effect to an obnoxious level LOOK AT THESE GUYS ☝️‼️💯💪☝️💥‼️🔥💯💪‼️💯☝️☝️☝️☝️

*touching his extremely defined six pack* who did this to you.....

whoever said all-nighters are exhausting is a liar i'm doing great. i've never felt better in my entire life, the birds are chirping as they welcome me into the gates of morningdom

fully sober and lucid walking down the street googling "is it normal to get a haircut" "am i allowed to get a haircut" "is the guy at the barber shop going to be mad at me when i go in there"

hey man youve been taking a while putting your change back in your wallet and i just wanted to let you know we are kicking you out of the grocwery sytore forever. goodbye

"mid" wife?.....ha, ha......no such thing.

Men don’t go heyyyybatterbatterswingbatterbatterswing like they used to anymore

going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)

Halloween stores when Margot Robbie wears a cute outfit in a movie

this tweet is making me choke to death

1. precisely 2. really really enjoying this phrasing

"Dont drink coffee after 2 PM" is such a neurotypical issue that sounds made up. Such a thing couldnt happen to me, ADHD Georg, who has coffee past 9:30 PM and can still fall asleep freely because I have a natural toxicity resistance to caffeine.

never ask a master origami artist to roll the joint. just watched two and a half grams of 31% indica dominant hybrid get turned into a beautiful hummingbird and fly away into the sunset