Hey. Reply to this post with your clone OC if I have permission to use them as once off characters in an O66 fic, and also to feed me your OCs, because I genuinely love talking OCs
Chosen One + Alcohol = Crack
Most of his training, Anakin seemed like a bright, above-average-power kid who was a bit behind on the basics.
Not that extraordinary. And his classmates and the crechlings and even the masters all noticed.
This? they asked. This is the Chosen One? He's not that special.
...then Anakin got drunk for the first time.
Turns out the only thing holding you back when you're more powerful than physics is remembering that physics is supposed to be a thing. That's okay! Once everybody's off the ceiling there can be cake! One day he's gonna make all the sits splith siths! go boom! and then cake!
Too sloshed to see the problem with the phrase "wee're jus gon put the data pad in the ...fridge... yeah! and when is cool we'll have cake!"? Congrats, you put your master's data pad into the fridge and it was made of cake when you took it out.
Upset because your master keeps calling himself old, well now your master's your age and he's not happy about it. Oh well it's not like you know how to turn him back. Maybe the tequila knows? Master looks so pretty when he's exasperated. And now he can stop complaining about grey hairs and be happy. What a nice thought. Maybe a nice nap.
OW. OW. OW. ...what do you mean can't you just make your hangover go away, master? that's not how the force works. Wait. What do you mean the chancellor spontaneously combusted last night? ...Master where's your beard?
My brain on the way home: AU where Darth Vader, a horror in a life support suit of armor, is turned into an adorable, waiflike teenage girl by Ambiguous Force Things.
Me, immediately, on behalf of all characters and potential readers:
Everyone Hated That
@liara-shadowsong: Ok, but... while the characters would hate literally every second of it, and I can't imagine it would be terribly enjoyable as a plot-filled longfic, just imagine how hilarious it would be as a nice concise little one shot.
NGL when I saw the note preview in my activity I genuinely thought you were going for "while the characters would hate it, Vader would probably appreciate it on account of not being in massive constant pain anymore."
Basically:
Vader is turned into a waiflike, doe-eyed, adorable teenage girl and hates the way people act towards him now (because nobody takes him seriously, and also because he's short and his voice is too high and his hand barely fits around his lightsaber anymore) but on the other hand. The constant neverending pain and inability to eat anything but liquids and need of a breathing apparatus are gone. So he doesn't actually hate the transformation as much as people might think. He even has hair again! Too much, even!
For some reason, whatever did this decided to equate him to his 19yo self, because he has the scar on his eye and the single prosthetic, but he is otherwise incredibly baby-faced and is...
Basically, you know, the Sid Story treatment. Scary Big Man With Impressive Reputation is now an Anime Waifu.
(I've never played Sid Story, but I remember seeing the images all over a while back, and @thisarenotarealblog helped me find it when i was losing my mind going "I know it's not Fate, what's the OTHER thing that did this to historical figures, nobody in Fate is moe enough to be the thing I remember, I think it was like a card game or something?)
@liara-shadowsong said:
hm yes that is even better. Every character except Vader is... less than thrilled. Vader, however... basically goes "you WILL continue to use he/him pronouns AND continue to find me absolutely terrifying, while I proceed to enjoy the fact that this body doesn't cause me pain and generally functions like my actual teenage body did aside from the obvious aesthetic and plumbing differences".
Exactly!
I'll admit that the other mental influence in this, when I say waiflike, is River Tam, the (former) image for Waif-Fu on tvtropes.
(NGL I do generally have Anakin pre-RotS be pretty gender ambivalent and goodness only knows how little gender factors into Vader's self-perception beyond 'being perceived as a man is useful in the Empire on account of how sexist it's gone under Palpatine' because there's just... so much else going on that's more important, like the massive amounts of pain, and neurotoxins.)
Of course... at this point I'm looking over at the possibility of a time-travel genderbend with where canon-ish Vader drops into the body of his younger self a few years pre-AotC, but the timeline has been adjusted so Ani's always 'been a girl' and has to adjust as a around that, not because the body is causing gender dysphoria, but because the world around him (them? Vader isn't sure yet) reacts so differently to Cute And Dangerous Teen Girl than it had, once upon a time, to Cute And Dangerous Teen Boy.
...and because of the dysphoria that's not related to gender so much as pain (nothing hurts? Impossible) and size (why are these limbs so... short).
Mereel: If I run at Ord'ika and jump at him, he will surely catch me! Ordo: No, wait!! Stop—
(Kal Skirata in the background having seen these antics before many many many times over the 10 years he's been raising these kids)
Reference under the cut:
Anonymous asked:
wait i need to know more about the sithspawn stewjoni family tree of sluts, you can't just say something like this and leave it hanging
🤣🤣 fair call, that was kinda mean. So, the sithspawn stewjoni (slut version) is basically the comedy version of a sort of nebulous idea I had about, well, sithspawn stewjoni manifesting the more uh, not human parts, after being exposed to the dark side of the force. Including horns/claws/weird or extra organs/etc etc, other parts tbd
In the funny version of this, it starts when baby-wan spends some time on bandomeer near World's Worst Big Brother Xanatos, and sort of continues in random fits and starts as he has various brushes with the dark -- given no one knows that he's Secretly A Created Species, the only logical assumption is 'wow, your genetics are bonkers because your ancestors got around' A snippet, since it kind of gives the vibe:
Given the rest of his life, he's leaning towards the latter; Master Qui-gon says luck isn't real, but Obi-wan's the one who woke up seeing fourteen new colours one day and had to work out if he'd been poisoned or if it was just a fun new quirk his body had decided to embrace, so Obi-wan's going to reserve judgement on that front.
Anonymous asked:
I read your sithspawn Obi-Wan au and I can't stop laughing it's so good 10/10. All I can think of is Qui-Gon walking in to find Obi-Wan staring at a wall being like "I can't tell if I got drugged or if I can see in UV now." and Qui-Gon not being sure if he should laugh or rush him to the healing halls. Or Anakin looking at old pictures of Obi-Wan and seeing more and more features show up as he gets older and Anakin being just so confused. Or what Cody's reaction to that would be.
I hope you're having a great day (your fics are great)
<3 cheers anon, I'm glad you like it! (and my other fics) but also l m a o yes 100%, obi-wan is always very casual with the 'so I might be dying or this is a fun new trick I can do now, 50/50 odds' and qui-gon always reacts with hahaFUCK. They get very familiar with the healers. There is talk of putting in a special code for the door, given how often master jinn has come bursting in, carrying his padawan over one shoulder, then flung him at the nearest bio-bed for scanning for some new exotic poison/allergy/weird reaction. (on the other hand, padawan kenobi is possibly the best vaccinated being in the temple, under the assumption that his genetics are so goddamn weird he might as well get the shots for mon cala mumps, montral pox, correlian bantha flu, and furred dropsy.)
There is at least several missions where they both get to play 'which of these cups/meals is poisoned' where the answer is either: a)neither (qui-gon is just Allergic to Random Local Ingredient); b)both (obi-wan is immune to Random Local Poison); c)One But Not The Other (which realistically is 'qui-gon's is poisoned; obi-wan's isn't', because if obi-wan's is poisoned it's basically the same as if neither is poisoned and qui-gon's not allergic to random local ingredient)
Anakin 100% sees holos of baby-wan and is like who tf is this random human kid?????? he does Not believe it's obi-wan until someone puts together a slideshow of like, here's babywan with teeny tiny claws. here's babywan with slightly bigger claws. here's babywan when he started growing his first set of horns! here's babywan--
(even then he is a bit doubt.jpg until the day obi-wan picks him up from baby jedi class and his pupils have changed shape or something.)
Cody is fine and cool about this. he is absolutely not stressed out that his jedi is of a species he doesn't recognise (even after delegating some slicers to traul the holonet about it) and is also best described as having a diet of 'yeah whatever'. he's totally fine that his jedi will run up a wall and skitter across a roof hanging by his claws. it's fine. this is fine. the man is a walking talking force powered radar dish that can see infra red and ultra violet and tracks things by scent as well as the undrana beasts the retreival corps use, it's fine, this is fine, he's can fit another antenna or radar or sensor on somewhere, there's space on his left bracer maybe.
I have only one thing to say about the new Mando ep
They should've used Hondo
This meme is beautiful. Thank you
i think all discussions about the jedi council go haywire because people think the statement, “individual jedi did not trust the council not to punish them when they have failed the jedi code,” means that the jedi council would have actually severely punished said individual, like that’s the piece of the argument that’s doing the heavy lifting. but it’s not. it’s that people are convinced that’s what will happen. it doesn’t have to be actually true for it to be something that heavily affects how other jedi interact with their leaders. i just saw a post that recapped that bit from dooku: jedi lost where dooku and yoda are talking about a jedi who had a son and hid her son from the council because she was terrified of being punished, and yoda, in that scene, goes, “no, we’re not that fucked up, we would’ve helped.” and the post completely misses the point of that scene, because it’s so busy cheering YODA SAID HE HAS A HEART SO HE MUST HAVE ONE! but the actual point was that no one other than yoda knows that. yoda, and the rest council, have maintained such an austere image that individual jedi would rather hide their kids across the galaxy rather than face what they think will be severe judgment from their religious leaders, and that simply is just not the relationship you should have with your religious leaders. it’s just not. that’s the piece of the argument that’s doing the heavy lifting, because it fundamentally does not matter at all how the council was willing to help any of their charges if everyone was too stone-cold terrified to ask them in the first place
I got really inspired by those fics where Fox has to go on weird ass covert missions for palpabitch, if you're one of those writers i love you
whenever someone swears in front of Ahsoka, Anakin gasps and tries to cover her ears
unfortunately, he completely misses every time, because he apparently has no idea where a togruta’s ears are
Ahsoka is offended by this on at least three different levels
the dissonance i experience whenever i see someone characterize fox as coolstoicmysterious instead of pathetic malnourished and sopping wet is indescribable
Meanwhile at 79s…
…Fox is making friends…
+++
sorry for posting so much this week, I’ve been on “staycation” and had a spike of drawing energy
Bo-Katan truly got the full Din Djarin experience.
Unnecessary sidequest? - check
New friends? - check
Baby helping to foster those new friendships? - check
Your weird connections paying off in unexpected ways? - check
Kicking droids? - check
Fought your way into a new/old friendship? - check
Girl must be exhausted but Din was probably having the best time
A Patreon Commission from back in May - A bioluminescent Nautolan!
Jedi June - Tragedy Averted
I firmly believe that if Padmé had told Obi-Wan about Anakin's dreams, then everything would have ended well, since the Jedi Council already knows about Anidala, and have exploited this throughout the Clone Wars
Thank you so much @jedijune for hosting this amazing event!
I think Anakin and Padme deserve to Stay Besties in any AU that isn't Anidala specifically because their love languages are absolutely buckwild and insane to almost anyone else, but match up to each other pretty perfectly, which means that if they aren't dating each other, they are the exact right person to have egging the other on and enabling whatever unhinged bullshit they're planning on doing in the name of romance.
Anakin thinks he needs to serenade his partner? Padme hires him an orchestra.
Padme wants to meet daringly under the cover of night with her new secret lover because that's the only right way to do it? Anakin is staging a kidnapping for her, zero questions.
Anakin is swooning over how his love interest was kissing him! but it was actually lips-to-leg attempts to suck out the venom of a bad bite (something you're not even actually supposed to do, but hey, the Force slowed his heart down enough that maybe it helped! and he survived anyway, it's fine)? Padme is over the moon for him, that's so romantic!
Their brain cells are so, so allergic to each other. Put them in a room and all common sense flees in the face of "okay, but if I challenge her to a sword fight--" "Padme you can't challenge a Sith to a sword fight." "No no, but if I challenge her and then you swoop in for me as my substitute, and I promise a kiss to the winner and you throw the match--" "Okay I don't want to lose to Ventress but oh my god, I love it."
Move aside, Idiots to Lovers, there's a new ballgame in town!
Friends to Lovers to Idiots
had a surreal experience at work this morning. i was the only person on the floor when we opened and a customer came over and was like "do you mind if i ask you for help with something?" and when i jokingly said "i don't think you have much of a choice to be honest" he replied "we always have a choice" and then we both just stood there opposite each other like rival wizards of light and dark for several moments.
it literally felt like this
212thincorrectcanonquotes-deact
212th Attack Battalion Incorrect Canon Quotes
Cody: I give up. I am so tired.
Waxer: Get the emergency supply!
(Boil carries Obi-Wan bridal style and places him in front of Cody.)
Obi-Wan, smiles: Hello there, my dear. You look awfully tired.
Cody: AND I AM BACK TROOPERS, LET’S GOOO!