these two stole the show
a little blurb in which it’s tangerine’s birthday and you don’t know what to get for the man who seemingly has everything 🌻 18+ only; cursing, implied sex, theft (of my hearttttt)
You’re not normally this indecisive, are you? Hours spent rifling through used bookshops, staring into glass display cases filled with gold jewelry, running your fingers along soft silk ties and the crisp seams of designer suit jackets.
Yet, you’ve no bloody idea what to get Tangerine for his birthday. What do you buy a man who seemingly has everything—and enough money to buy the things he truly wants?
And then there’s the problem of Tangerine spoiling you rotten. Your own shite job doesn’t allow you to go in for the expensive first edition Oscar Wilde you truly want to get him, and though you know you could ask him for the money, it defeats the purpose of a gift and wouldn’t that make you a first class wanker, then?
Defeated, you watch, days later as Tangerine (grumpily) blows out the candles on the cake you and Lemon whipped up for him, looking pained as the two of you finish the closing notes of Happy Birthday, Tangerine allows you the indulgence of taking a few photos with him and his cake, though he insists the “mangy little arsehole” that is your rescue dog be in those photos with him.
Later that evening, you pull a small gift bag from your bedside table and shove it into Tangerine’s hands as he returns from showering. He blinks at you, the corners of his lips twitching up into a sardonic grin.
“Thought I told you no presents, love.” He gives you a wolfish wink, running a hand through his damp curls, watching you watch as water droplets roll down his bare chest. “Do I have to fuckin’ remind you to be good?”
“Just open it.” You try for deadpan, but your voice hitches in your throat and Tangerine, bless him, can tell you’re nervous so he relents and begins to pull away at the tissue paper.
“Socks,” he says quietly, a little confused as he pulls from the bag a rather plain-looking pair of wooly cabin socks. “I love them, darling.”
“I know they’re kind of…silly,” you sigh, suddenly feeling like a right twat—this was stupid, the whole idea, but Lemon had said he’d be thrilled. “But I stole them.”
“You fuckin’ what?” Tangerine nearly chokes on his words, eyes wide as he turns the socks over in his hand, wonder on his face and his back just a little bit straighter, “You cheeky little thief. I fuckin’ love them. I fuckin’ love you, naughty little minx.”
And sure, he tosses the socks aside so they land with his towel on the floor, but his sculpted body falling over yours, his breath warm on your face, and his hands exploring between your legs more than makes up for it.
“Happy Birthday, dear heart,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his nose.
He groans in response, bright blue eyes darkening. “I’ve got one more present yet, hm?”
Me, reading my scraps of fics in my notes app: oh, that’s good, I really like that. Someone should finish that.
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Tangerine: I do what I want!
Lemon: I’m calling y/n.
Tangerine: No, wait—
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Y/n: I’m a crime lord.
Tangerine: that doesn’t change the fact you need to wear a jacket.
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Lemon: Tangerine isn’t answering his phone.
Y/n: I’ll call him.
Lemon: I’ve tried seven times now, he’s probably in the middle of something impo-
Tangerine: Hello?
bullet train incorrect quotes
Ladybug : I really like this whole ‘good guy, bad guy’ thing you guys have going on.
Tangerine: It’s not an act, it’s just that I’m mean and Y/n isn’t
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Y/n: I don’t think we can manipulate, mansplain, or malewife our way out of this one
Tangerine: [cracks knuckles]
Tangerine: Manslaughter it is
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Y/N: You have to apologize to Lemon
Tangerine: Fine.
Tangerine: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.
The son: hey I heard you like bad boys
Y/n: not really
The son: oh thank god
a little bit of soft!tangerine to end 2022 🌻 tw: tooth-rotting fluff; g/n!reader
- I’m convinced that Tangerine is a poet. Like, the man can’t express himself out loud worth shit, but when he sits down to put it to paper, his words are so filled with love that you almost hate finding the little slips of paper tucked into cupboards and drawers in your flat when he’s off for a job because they always make you tear up a little…
- the way he says your name when he arrives home after a job, just scooping you up in his arms and whispering it reverently against your forehead as he kisses you
- pressing his head between your shoulders when you’re the little spoon, kissing each shoulder blade in turn before breathing out a soft and warm sigh on the back of your neck
- You’re opening a bag of crisps when you’re settling in to watch a movie and Tan looks at you expectantly because of “the crisp tax, love. you open the bag, you gotta pay up.”
- being so mad at him for saying something insensitive (because he’s a giant twat sometimes, he knows) but he just tells you a stupid joke (that Lemon definitely didn’t just text him to help save his arse) and how can you keep being mad when he makes a pun in such an earnest voice?
- picking you up, setting you on the kitchen counter, and kissing each of your kneecaps after a long night out — bonus: he undoes your shoes and kisses your ankles too
- telling you he’s “so fuckin’ in love with you it’s unfair” because there’s nothing in the world he can do (or steal) to quantify his “fuckin’ feelings for you, darling.”
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Y/n: Yeah I'm really into true crime podcasts lately.
Tangerine, trying to flirt: You know I've been the primary suspect in quite a few murder cases.
I gave this one a little bit of a different set up but hopefully it still hits the spot!
Tagging: @sinfulrefugy @venusthepirate@lunarpansexual@wanderedaway
thank you bullet-train-2022 for the gif!
Reblogs appreciated, Requests open - let me know if you want to be tagged for future works!
Okay, really, you shouldn’t have gone on the date with him in the first place.
Hooking up with people in this business is a bad idea. Especially when you have the same handlers. Conflict of interest and all that. But he was charming, and your curiosity was piqued.
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Tangerine: WHO DID THIS? WHOEVER DID THIS IS GOING TO BE-
Y/N: It was me…
Tangerine: -forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.
Lemon: Wow. If it was me, I’d be dead.
Bullet train incorrect quotes:
Y/N: Hey babe, can you help me with my zipper?
Tangerine: Of course.
Y/N: ...
Y/N: Up, Tan.
Tangerine: Right.
HCs for a lazy day at Lemon and Tangerine’s place
readers name is Tabasco
🍊🌶 🍋
A/N: Good evening or morning…it’s almost 3am. Here is some different random stuff that just came to mind ! I’ll probably do more of these!
Hope you enjoy🍊🧡
- Lemon likes to draw in his free time because at some point in his past he tried to make money with art replicas
- Tangerine does not own “lazy” clothes
- They have classical tunes playing on a record player 24/7
- Lemon makes drinks , Tabasco bakes , Tangerine cooks that’s an unwritten rule
- Lemon prefers white wine , Tangerine red wine
- Tabasco occasionally repairs Tangerine’s suits
- Lemon snores
- Tangerine doesn’t but he sometimes talks in his sleep , always in different languages tho
- They always have a full box of Tabasco’s favourite tea ready
- Tabasco always brings something when she visits. Magically knowing EXACTLY what the brothers need
- All three of them collectively hate board games
- Because this one time they tried to play Monopoly, Tangerine ended up throwing the game out of the window , aiming at it with his gun,yelling at it to “never come back into his life”
- Lemon has the most comfortable armchair where he likes to read in
- He also wears glasses for that
- Tabasco has a designated spot on the couch right by the window because she likes to sit there and watch the stars at night
- Tangerine is almost always pacing
- If he is too exhausted tho his spot is on the other end of the couch, feet propped up on Lemon’s armrest
- Occasionally kicking his book
- One time when planning a mission which would take place at a gala the three of them had a fight about if Tangerine is a good dancer so he ended up aggressively pulling Tabasco in his arms and dancing with her to Por una Cabeza
- Turns out Tangerine is a phenomenal dancer
- Lemon fully knew that , he just took part in the argument for entertainment
- Whenever they plan missions all of them sit on the floor
- Lemon and Tabasco like to solve crossword puzzles together
-the heater is broken so they have a ton of blankets
- They watch reality/trash tv together, getting way too much into it
- Lemon listens to Thomas the Tank Engine audiobooks when going to bed
- Tabasco is a night owl , if she stays over before missions Tangerine and her just sit together watching the stars , listening to the noise of the city (and Lemon’s audiobook faintly in the background)
- Til Tangerine decides to go to bed
- An hour later he comes back claiming cause he needs some water (in reality he couldn’t sleep knowing that Tabasco is still awake)
- 100% will try to force Tabasco to go to sleep if necessary
- If she can’t sleep because her mind keeps her busy he will watch weird documentaries with her , eating cereal at 3am
- Tangerine 10/10 has a dressing gown and a headband he wears when cooking
- Lemon definitely has fuzzy socks or plush slippers
-They always loose things in their own home and Tabasco finds them in like a minute
- “What do you mean my brass knuckles were over there ? i’ve searched them for YEARS.”
-The brothers avoid the neighbours at all costs
Tangerine x Reader imagines & headcanons
tw: none! just cute stuff that makes us sad
okay so I love analysing people and ive been in love with him since march/april, so this was a piece of cake- also im obsessive and lonely so was super easy lmfao
these are just things that I think, but if you disagree that’s fine too
- princess treatment- he’d treat you like royalty
- huge softie at heart