I'm here I'm Queer and I feel uncomfortable

geralt: *injured*

jaskier: let me kiss it better :)

geralt: what no

magical inhuman!jaskier: *smooch* there :)

geralt: *now healed* what the . fuck

Jaskiers never been close to someone who gets injured as badly, or as often, as Geralt. and hes never been close to somone who knows what its like to be injured as well as Geralt.

He knows that when he kisses a bruise, the pain goes away - and bleeding wounds often aren’t as dramatic as they first seemed before he kissed them. But thats just how kisses work, right? thats the whole point of “kissing it better” - it hurts less when you are cared for, and once you’ve calmed down you’ll see there was nothing to panic about anyway.

But Geralt knows somethings up. When he’s injured he knows exactly how badly, how painfully, and how long it should take to heal. what he doesnt know is what the fuck Jaskier is and what the hell he’s just done to him.

Jaskier is adamant that its just because nobodys ever kissed him better before - which is tragic, and he will definitely be changing that - so the moody “emotionless” witcher just needs to believe in love and being loved.

#gafldksjghdf #jaskier: *has magic healing powers* this is just how kissing works. geralt. this is how kissing works. #you’re telling me no-one has ever kissed you before??geralt?

#geralt: that. that cannot possibly be right. right??? that cant be right. youre just weird. it has to be that youre just weird. right??????#geralt: that doesn’t sound right but i dont know enough about [affection] to dispute it

Geralt: Yen I need you do kiss this broken arm. Yennifer: That is not the strangest thing I’ve been asked to kiss, but what the fuck.

WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THIS IN THE TAGS @manicpixiesdreamdragon??! 

Ah heck, apologies @yappingjaskier, my last braincell broke with the hilarity of the imagery your tag caused (and sorry to you too,  @manicpixiesdreamdragon) 

Pffffft, no worries,, I thought it was funny tbh

Yen doesn’t know any better either so maybe she thinks that’s just one more thing that got taken away from her.

“They broke my kisses, too???”

This just keeps getting funnier. What if Jaskier is so horrified that the Brotherhood broke Yen’s kisses that he offers to kiss Yen’s kisses better. So he kisses her on the lips and it… works. And now Yen can kiss things better too. Tissaia has no idea wtf Yennefer is yelling at her about.

When you remember the anti-vax movement

I first reblogged this in January, and here my ass is in March 2020 self-quarantined at home.

i was worried my cat is dehydrated because i never see him drink water so i’ve started leaving a cup of water that’s “mine” (aka he sees me drink out of it once before he does) in my room so he thinks he is being a rebellious naughty by drinking out of it but rlly he is just following my plan & being hydrated .

God in the Garden of Eden

Absolutely obsessed with the implications of this comment

the concept of peer review is bonkers tbh. you think jake knows what’s happening in this class enough to tell me if i wrote my paper correctly? JAKE?????

Jenny Slate, Stage Fright (2019)

Ugly, Bitter, and True by Suzanne Rivecca

John Mulaney on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert (2020)

I like to think of this song as teen Achilles on Mt. Pelion learning an Ed Sheeran song on uke to impress his crush 🌞 A demo sung gorgeously by Sumner!

there’s something really satisfying about the fact that sir arthur conan doyle was the most gullible motherfucker on the planet

sir arthur conan doyle: here is my oc, he is a super genius who solves all the mysteries using the power of deductive reasoning

also sir arthur conan doyle: i have deduced that these fairies are real as shit

sir arthur conan doyle: there’s only one way to determine if these fairies are real… i will give you girls these cameras, that i bought myself, and then i will develop the photos, so i know they haven’t been tampered with

some girls who took selfies in the woods with paper cutouts on hatpins: that seems reasonable

harry houdini, after showing his good friend how he got tricked by a con artist: so as you can see, anyone can make it seem as if they can talk to ghosts

sir arthur conan doyle: harry… i can’t believe you never told me you can talk to ghosts, for real, using actual magic

Doyle and Houdini’s relationship is the funniest thing in the entire history of the skepticism movement

Doyle was SO CONVINCED that Houdini had legit magic powers and could turn into smoke or some shit to escape things and Houdini was like “no seriously it’s a trick let me show you how it works” and Doyle was all “it hurts me that you won’t trust me with this secret”

If memory serves he eventually decided that Houdini was subconsciously magic and in denial

in superman adventures #19, there’s a villain named multi-face who can convincingly disguise himself as anyone, even tricking dna tests and x-ray vision. Superman initially can’t stop him

and the only reason he gets caught is because multiface decides to disguise himself as, of all people, CLARK KENT i’m screaming

why do villains always mess up so badly

Clark Kent attending Bruce Wayne’s yacht party where Bruce told Clark to wear his clothes and……

This bullshit needs to get into the movies, not edgy-grimdark shit

I especially love the fact that, in many depictions, Bruce Wayne somehow ended up looking similar enough to the one Kryptonian on Earth that they can Parent Trap people

*Deathstroke bursts into the Legion of Doom headquarters* “Guys, you won’t believe this, but I think Bruce Wayne is Superman!“

today I learned that Clark Kent is sloppy drunk and I am in eternal gratitude for that

*gently places a small mushroom in your hand*

?

*gently places another small mushroom in your hand*

Little brown mushrooms are unidentifiable, worthless crap. If you’re going to hand me small mushrooms, make sure they’re some color other than brown.

(I have opinions about things)

the fruits of the earth do not exist to be worth something to us

I keep forgetting that NT people don’t do math the same way people with ADHD do it until I try to explain my thought process and get weird looks from people who are like “how the FUCK did you do that?”

whoops

and for those of you who DON’T know what I’m talking about I’ll give you an example

42 + 29 = 71

for neurotypical people, they use the method we were all taught in grade school where you add 9 + 2 to get 11 and then move the extra one over to make 4 + 2 + 1 which equals 7 to give you 71

but the way I do it (as many other people with ADHD as I’ve come to find out) is this:

okay so you have 42 + 29. if you take 1 away from 42 and give it to 29 to make it an even 30, you now have 41 + 30 which is an easy 71

or, another problem: 53 + 88

round that 88 up to 90 and take the two from 53 so you have 51 + 90. but wait I can make this easier. take 10 more from 51 to make 90, 100 and now you have 41 + 100 which equals 141

it’s just…so much faster? and makes so much more sense to me

also? the math teachers that always took off points for kids not showing their work?

fucking HATED that. as someone who could get from point A to point D in my head in a split second, I felt like showing my work was often a waste of time when sometimes it felt like I just automatically knew the answer

or, if I did put down my work, I went through a process that wasn’t taught and would get points reduced anyway because it wasn’t the way we were taught just because my brain worked differently than the rest of the class. my answer was always right. they just didn’t like how I got it

never did like that much 

also, this is another way of doing it that I just saw on facebook that I’ve also done before

because I do things to that extent too

so if you give me something like 37 + 45 I’ll go “well 30 + 40 is 70 and 7 + 5 is 12 so 70 + 12 is 82″

there’s just…so many ways to do math that make more sense than the way I was taught

this post got a lot more popular than I was expecting wow

I’ve seen some people reblogging this saying they don’t have adhd but have autism and yes! People with autism do this too! I’ve learned that a lot of people with adhd and/or autism do things that overlap and this is one of them!

i’m sorry but these are the only valid tags on this post

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT IVE DONE THIS MY WHOLE LIFE HOLY SHIT. Im an AP Calculus student and i was trying to explain to the other kids that i have trouble with mental addition and subtraction and i have to do it that way and they all look at my like im stupid but it was ADHD the whole time???? Oh word??????

IVE DONE THIS FOR SO LONG HSHSGH IM GLAD IM NOT JJST WEIRD

I feel like we as a society don’t talk enough about the fact that Faramir and Boromir could see the future, and that Faramir might have been a fucking psychic??

No listen now I’m finding page references because I honestly can’t believe I didn’t find this weirder the first million times I read these books

So we all know that the reason Boromir goes to see Elrond in the first place is because Faramir has been having these dreams about “seeking the sword that was broken” in Imladris and that Isildur‘s bane is there and such. Presumably after Denethor ignores him for long enough, whoever is sending out these prophetic dreams gets fed up and sends one to Boromir so Denethor will actually finally listen and take action (my complex feelings about Denethor are for another post lmao)

So there’s some solid evidence that Faramir, and at least to some extent Boromir can fucking. SEE THE FUTURE. And that little fact just doesn’t really get brought up again AT ALL in Fellowship of the Ring? (JRR Tolkien I love you but why were we deprived of the random travel conversations the fellowship must have had while traveling all over middle earth together)

Later on, Faramir describes seeing Boromir’s body in the boat he was sent down the Anduin in, and he knows way ahead of time that Boromir was dead – another instance of somehow knowing about things that happened hundreds of miles away when there is ABSOLUTELY no way he should have.

BUT THEN things get a lot weirder in The Two Towers when Faramir captures Frodo and Sam and Gollum. Faramir is interrogating Gollum about whether he had ever been to Henneth Annun before, and this is what happens: 

That’s kind of a really weird thing to say. Maybe Faramir is being poetic and not literal when he says he can see into Gollum’s mind, but the elaborate description of their eye contact almost makes it seem like there’s something else going on here. Plus, somehow the eye contact alone is enough for Faramir to judge definitively that Gollum is telling the truth. This brings up something Gandalf says to Pippin about Denethor:

Like father, like son, it seems. I bet Denethor just loved that. 

Again, maybe Gandalf is just speaking figuratively and is saying that Denethor is just really insightful. But it’s kind of weird to interpret it like that that in light of Gandalf putting that right next to a statement about Denethor’s bloodline that makes him and Faramir “different” somehow. Is Gandalf saying that they both can literally perceive “what is passing in the minds of men”??

BACK TO ITHILIEN (sorry this is more of a ramble than a well structured essay)

Faramir is asking Gollum if he knows what Cirith Ungol really is:

“As if something had stabbed him”?? There’s really no indication of what this “stabbing” could be in this context. It’s not Smeagol trying to keep Gollum from spilling the beans, because Gollum is the one who wants to keep the hobbits in the dark about Shelob. So who/what is stabbing his fucking mind?

Faramir sends Gollum away with Anborn and is talking to Frodo about Gollum.

Gollum leading Frodo to no good might be the understatement of the year, as well as an incredibly accurate one. I don’t need to keep saying this but of course he could be speaking poetically or figuratively. It just seems to me that there’s a LOT of these instances over the course of these books.

Putting Denethor and Faramir in a room together is, of course, always fucking wild for a MYRIAD of reasons, but let’s look at (the part that always fucking kills me) this scene:

I’m pretty sure this is the first(?) instance of Faramir being referred to as Gandalf’s pupil. I’m highlighting this point because it kind of sets a precedent as to why Faramir and Denethor, despite both seeming to have these supernatural abilities to read people and situations, come to SUCH different conclusions about what to do with The Ring. Faramir has been studying with Gandalf, a magical wizard, since he was a kid. I really don’t think it’s that far of a stretch that Gandalf, who once again is literally a god or Maia or whatever, was able to teach him how to actually use this ability to read and/or influence minds. (Plus he wasn’t wrecking his own mind by staring into a palantir 24/7 but I digress)

I’ve been writing for too long, so here’s just a couple of other points that come to mind.

Anyway. Those are my two cents on the subject. Everyone in the line of Stewards is a fucking psychic to some extent and that’s what Tolkien intended

okay, it’s late and I don’t want to cite things but I really want to respond to this: yes! Yes, this is all 99% certainly true! Welcome to magic in LotR! This is the mother of all fantasy, but magic is not a flashy thing of wands and jets of light (HP) nor explicable on a frankly scientific level (Cosmere) nor even, say, the lack of definition and rules but the definitive effects, like time travel or mega lightning strikes, of Robin McKinley’s Damar books. No, LotR magic is incredibly subtle, and could at almost every turn be explained away by saying that a particular person is insightful, or inspiring, or just makes really good fireworks. 

Seriously, Gandalf is The Wizard, but the most explicit magic we see him do is those more-than-natural fireworks at Bilbo’s going-away party, and in RotK when he, like, “casts a light” at a swooping Nazgul. Compare him reviving Theoden in the book vs in the film, which of course follows a more modern (and film-appropriate) dramatic view of magic - sure, the book has a bit of illusory storm and then light, and Gandalf definitely knocks Wormtongue out for lightning for a moment, but there’s no weird possession and magically induced aging going on. It’s like 90% psychology. (”Headology” - Pratchett knew what was up.) Note that this passage is begun with Gandalf singing, in the book - song is magic/divine power, in LotR, ever since Eru first began singing the world into existence. It is arguably not a matter of characters casting spells so much as a signifier to the reader that “magic” is happening now, or about to? But also it’s straight-up a spell. It’s no mistake that the runes readable on the Ring are a part of a poem describing its power and intent.

Faramir can use such power, a little, as can Denethor and Aragorn, because in all three of these men, the blood of Westernesse runs strong - in Aragorn in particular, who can heal, and wrest the focus of a Palantir away from Sauron with will and right. (It helps, per the extremely vague rules that govern LotR’s magic, that the Palantir is his by right of inheritance. For extra fun, se…a post somewhere that I’m not going to spend more time finding about how Frodo arguably “cast the spell” that sealed Gollum’s fate.) 

Anyway, yeah, Faramir and Denethor have, like, metaphorical recessive genes of what Aragorn has in a more truly direct line, that is, a the blood of the Men of Westernesse, who were given longer lives and a home in sight of Valinor (home of the gods, ish) way back when. Literal physical proximity to Valinor is a rough equivalency for Right/Good and, consequently, granted Magic/Divine Power in The Silmarillion, or at least classist elves think so. Perhaps, as rumored, there’s even a dash of elvish blood in them, though I’m skeptical of that - Elrond does have two spare uncles, whose fates are unclear, but there are really only supposed to be 3 unions of Elf and Man and we know about all of their progeny. Possibly Elros got around, but he would have been doing that in the early days of Westernesse anyway, sooo…same thing.

Tldr: You’re absolutely right, but it’s deliberately vague bc that’s just how LotR works, and I love it.

Anyone else here familiar with the essay Ósanwe-kenta? It’s subtitled/translated “Enquiry into the Communication of Thought” and is the closest Tolkien gets to discussing the actual rules of “magic” in Arda. The rules concerning telepathy (as understood by the Eldar and written down by Pengolodh), are outlined and discussed.

It was published in volume 12 of HoME, The Peoples of Middle-Earth, and was written sometime around 1960, so a few years after Return of the King was published, and according to the Tolkien Society’s timeline, shortly after his retirement and at the same time as several of his other essays about Middle-Earth.

Although Tolkien was beginning to rework parts of his cosmology at this point, I  find that the concepts and details discussed Ósanwe-kenta are very consistent with the descriptions of telepathy found in LotR, of which several examples have already been discussed.

In brief, telepathy is an ability inherent to all minds (sámar, here distinguished from fëar, spirits). Bodies tend to get in the way, though, so it is harder for Incarnates to use than for Ainur, and harder for Men than for Elves. Therefore, Incarnates typically need their telepathy to be strengthened for effective communication. This can happen through affinity (as between family or friends), urgency (any great need), and authority (duty, or rightful command). Furthermore, any mind can refuse to permit entry of any other’s thought.

By these conditions, then, Faramir’s questioning of Gollum makes more sense. As the Steward’s son and an officer of Gondor in one of Gondor’s territories, Faramir has the authority to find out what Gollum knows and ensure he is not a danger to Gondor or ally of Sauron. This would naturally strengthen his telepathy, which is probably already stronger than average due to his Númenorean heritage. The “closed doors” he perceives in Gollum’s mind are likely his experience of Gollum refusing to allow him in fully, so Faramir is limited to mostly observation. Whether or not Faramir knows exactly what he’s doing, this leads to a very accurate assessment of Gollum.

Faramir, Denethor, and Gandalf aren’t the only ones who are shown using telepathy, either. Aragorn does it repeatedly and deliberately, particularly after entering Gondor. Galadriel examines the Company telepathically upon their arrival in Caras Galadhon. Sauron seems to use telepathy to command and control his armies. Celeborn, Galadriel, Elrond, and Gandalf chat that way on the journey home.

Okay, if you couldn’t tell, I really like this subject, and think it’s a pity it’s not more widely recognized. Tolkien is always stranger than most people assume, and it’s wonderful.

I’m reminded of the bit in Lothlorien where, in response to being asked if the elvish cloaks were magic, the elf being questioned was like “I don’t really know what you mean by that, but sure?” in the same way that a modern-day person might respond if they gave someone a bullet-proof camouflage vest and were asked “Is this a technology?” For an equivalent in our world it’d probably be like being able to sense and maybe even manipulate the Earth’s magnetic field. If your whole race can do that at a fairly competent level then you’re probably going to develop electricity and associated tech a lot faster than people who can’t, but from their point of view it’s not, like, mystical or anything.

Also, because it’s passed down via bloodline, most people who have the thing live in a community where the base assumption is that everyone has the thing, and most people who don’t have the thing “know” that it’s this exotic talent that only turns up in Magical Beings, so the idea that it might turn up in a Gondorian isn’t really an everyday concern or something people are on the lookout for. So it takes an outsider observer like Gandalf to be like “Two of these Men are not like the others, and the specific way in which they are not like the others is similar to this other thing”, while Faramir’s just going around with his psychic powers like

@thefirstdraftofanythingisshit

@gaymilksnake made a post that spoke to me in a way nothing else ever has, so obviously I had to do a series of shitty doodles to express my gratitude

One of the things I love about Mandalorian culture is that it basically involves loving who ever you want, raising as many kids as you want, wearing cool body armor and flying around on highly unreliable jetpacks, and trying to shoot a space wizard who can send bullets back at you which is peak herbo/himbo culture. But seriously you don't get in trouble for picking a laser sword that's the wrong color, being forced to never see your parents as a toddler because you could move blocks with your mind, or never allowed to have family or life outside the Jedi order. One of the things that the EU established is both how family oriented Mando culture and one of the reasons they dislike the Jedi is partially because they force a child to separate from their family.

So for those of you who don’t know, there’s an official Mando’a language and dictionary, and one of the most important sayings in Mandalorian culture is: 

Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la.

Meaning-  Nobody cares who your father was, only the father you'll be.

Oh my God?

We stan 1 (one) culture of batshit insane jetpack warriors

Sometimes you see a post and just realize there’s some Wild Shit going on in a community you never knew existed

Finally, I understand

THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT. THIS WAS THE ORIGINAL POST.

GO 👏 THE 👏 FUCK 👏 OFF. Also, the American educational system is trash. I applaud this child’s parents for giving her a voice and standing up against bias authority.

(Can someone caption this?)

Classroom full of mostly black and brown students:

Black student: [unintelligible—and then]  …and then throwing everything away beneath it because it doesn’t pertain to you. I’m sorry —

White teacher: —you know what, I’m sorry -I’m sorry…

Black student: —No, no, no…I let you talk -I let you talk, you’re gonna let me talk.

[Other students gasps]

White student: Go ahead. Finish.

Black student: I’m sorry that this is the way that it is. You’re right, it is fucked up. But white people control everything…and that’s not fair. And when anybody, any other minority tries to say anything about it or change it, we’re complaining or we’re ungrateful or all this other stuff because we still have this or that. But then you say something about ‘Oh, I don’t want—there’s too many Latinos and there’s too many—’

White teacher: I didn’t say that—

[Various students disagree]

White teacher: I said I want to control the border!

Black student: You said you don’t want this to turn into a Latin country because there’ll be too many 

White teacher: I did not say that.

[Various students disagree]

Student 2: You said you want to preserve the American culture.

Black student: There is no American culture. American culture is EVERYTHING.

[Various students agree]

Random: Mayonnaise!

[Students laugh]

Black student: And because you are white and so closed-minded, you refuse to accept that, you refuse to accept—

White teacher: Don’t tell me I’m closed-minded—

Black student: Everything you’ve said to me is closed-minded.

White teacher: Just because I don’t agree with you doesn’t mean I’m closed-minded.

Black student: You don’t need to agree—I -I’ve had conversations with people that don’t agree with me, but if they at least listen and try to accept—you’re not accepting the truth.

White teacher: Why do I have to accept what you think is right?

Black student: You need to accept the truth! Not what I think is right, what is actually happening right—

White teacher: Well, let me tell you what I think. You said white people have been in control of everything….who is the president of the United States right now?!

Students: A black man!

*Various sounds of incredulity*

Black student: WITH A WHITE CONGRESS! WITH A WHITE SENATE! WITH WHITE EVERYTHING ELSE! HE DOESN’T HAVE THE CONTROL OF EVERYTHING!

Random: GO OFF 

Other Random: GO OFF–

*The class is in an uproar*

Random student: YOU ARE SO PRIVILEGED THAT YOU JUST DON’T SEE IT!

White teacher: Do we have to yell?!

Black student: Yes, because I’m mad.

“Yes, because I’m mad”

Numb // Linkin Park 80s Remix

I didn’t know how much I needed this until I heard it.

The original song is how depression felt at first, this version is how it feels now

@l-heure-du-the this is so VIOLENTLY your fucking aesthetic

From “… nothing matters…” to “NOTHING MATTERS! :D”

we all make fun of Zuko for “that’s rough buddy” but like. how the fuck are you supposed to respond when someone just nonchalantly says “my girlfriend turned into the moon”

#by making fun of zuko I make fun of myself because what the fuck else could you possibly say#sorry I helped facilitate the situation that required ur gf to turn into the moon I was going thru some shit but damn that was wack?#when I become fire president i promise no more girlfriends will be turned into moons#unless they like... Want That I Guess#atla#zuko#sokka

Justin McElroy: "For the moment, and that is all you can be in, when you’re scared about the world and you’re scared about everything going around you, look at the moment that you’re in. Right now. Right this second. And remind yourself that that is all you have. And right now maybe it’s okay."

Also Justin McElroy: "ᴵ ᶜᵒᵒᵏ ᵃⁿ ᵉᵍᵍ ʷⁱᵗʰ ᵃ ˢᵖᵒᵒⁿ ᵃᵐᵉˡⁱᵉ?"

.║\ ║▒\ put this on your blog ║▒▒\ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ to show others ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ║░▒║ ▓▓▓▓▓ [█▓] [█▓] you are gay [█▓]

Question: why is a sword, a representation of being gay?

cause im gay and i like swords whats not to get

I went looking for this post specifically and only just realized that the op was the same person

you know an awful lot of people dont realise this actually. but rest assured if its about swords and being gay, there is a high chance i wrote it