my dad took some ancestry tests and eventually found out who his father was (and that he has 5+ siblings who are also finding all of this out) and honestly it's been pretty bizarre and emotional so far, naturally

but one of the biggest changes for me is no longer having to give the whole spiel of "oh i know i'm racially ambiguos but hey there's a whole story behind it because this that and here's my father's backstory"

like no i... i just have a grandpa from Nigeria now

...that's way less mysterious >:(

edit: my brother has made a tiktok on the whole situation

Congratudolences OP, your family are hilarious

Do you ever eat popcorn out of the palm of your own hand with such ardent desperation that you feel like both a wild horse and the gentle schoolgirl feeding it treats to gain its affection 

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2022, commenting on this post from 2016. There’s been a lot of people on this site lately being like “oooh no don’t make viral uwu I’m so pathetic, little, and defenseless and my poor notifications can’t handle 10k reblogs” well first of all ALL of us are pathetic, little, and defenseless and secondly none of our notifications can handle 10k reblogs and thirdly I’m not a coward and I think this should have a million notes. Not because of its own merit as a post, I just think it’d be funny if when I turn 30 this year and I reflect on the greatest accomplishments of my life thus far, I have to at least consider putting “famous tumblr popcorn post” on the list

Hey there guys. It’s me, in 2023, in May specifically, I’m 30 and for the record it rules, I had a lil aging crisis and now I’m past that and I’m just like goddamn it is great being in my thirties and I had a wonderful birthday NO THANKS TO YOU GUYS

actually, much thanks to you guys. Some of you were inspiringly crazy about this post. Frankly you worked harder for this than I did, and your efforts were touching and inspiring and funny and yet we STILL FAILED. GUYS WE GOTTA PUT OUR EYES BACK ON THE BALL. We have ehhh about six months before I turn the big three-one, which is actually the most important birthday because now you’re in your thirties For Real, and I personally can’t think of a better way to ring in my 31st year of life than by trying and failing to do something that I was hoping to knock out in my twenties.

Good luck, kiddo

Are you satisfied, op? When will it be enough?

I feel I couldn’t have been clearer about the number at which this will be enough

ALMOST THERE

the existence of people who are correct but so annoying about it that you don’t believe them out of spite implies the existence of people who are wrong but so pleasant that you believe them out of love. and that’s where i come in

oh my god

This post has over a 1000 notes, getting hermitblr mutuals was a mistake XD

i'm a firm believer that there's nothing funnier than professional minecraft players who Only know their very specific niche, so the second they try to do anything outside of said niche they're fucked. there's nothing more entertaining than watching a speedrunner who knows every little mechanic on how to optimize beating the game struggle to craft a fence. or watching a builder whose constructed cities bigger than real-life countries figure out they can equip shields in their offhand for extra protection. genuinely peak comedy

this has gotten more traction than i expected so i need everyone to know that i posted this bc i thought of the time purpled tried to craft a wither and laughed so hard i almost threw up

^^ S rank mcc player everypony

the r/curatedtumblr -> tumblr migration is so funny to me. it's like going to the zoo and enjoying it so much you climb into the enclosure to live with the monkeys

2001: Shadow is capable of skeletonizing a cow in mere seconds

2023: He listens to Taylor Swift

"You should obfuscate your intent whenever possible" -Joe Hills

I got tired of group names containing the words duo or trio, so i decided to do something

Higher Bracket Round 2: Match 15

The Great God Om(Discworld) vs Herobrine(Minecraft)

the meaning of the universe is love actually

so i’m catching up on new life episodes and i have. two questions. does martyn know about the philza fridgefucker bit. and does philza know philly’s freezers.

CHILLING OUT W THE BOOOYYS!!!!!

sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science

three canadians on a boat, what will they do? (they will shipwreck)

What if you loved me so much it literally undoomed me haha jk unless

What if I had so much faith in you it literally reshaped the narrative into a happy ending HAHA JK UNLESS