*places an orange just outside a fairy ring to see what comes out* science is more of an art than a science

*the orange grows legs and skitters away*

Fascinating results *places a banana in the same spot*

*clawed hand reaches out of the ether and drags it into the ring, leaving ragged claw marks in the soil as it disappears, back into the ether from whence it came*

“let’s go to the extreme.” *places a pineapple in the same spot*

Real scientists would keep putting an orange in the same spot to make sure the results are consistent before moving on to other fruits or different spots.

The only valid response to this post.

We’re working up the complexity levels of fruit until we feel there is enough evidence to support the judicious placement of a volunteer twink

You sit down, we haven’t seen what’s happened to the pineapple

This is Tumblr; we’ve ALL seen what happened to the pineapple. O_O

not like the plan consisted of going left instead of right and almost getting them cornered!

We’re winning.

I found his bio on societyofpresidentialdescendants.org and it was so delightful I had to copy paste the whole thing:

“Ulysses Grant Dietz grew up in Syracuse, New York, where his Leave it to Beaver life was enlivened by his fascination with vampires, from Bela Lugosi to Barnabas Collins. He studied French at Yale (BA, 1977), and was trained to be a museum curator in the University of Delaware’s Winterthur Program in American Material Culture (MA, 1980). A decorative arts curator at the Newark Museum for thirty-seven years before he retired, Ulysses has never stopped writing for the sheer pleasure of it. Aside from books on Victorian furniture, art pottery, studio ceramics, jewelry, and the White House, Ulysses created the character of Desmond Beckwith in 1988 as his personal response to Anne Rice’s landmark novels. Alyson Books released his first novel, Desmond, in 1998. Vampire in Suburbia, the sequel, appeared in 2012. His most recent novel, Cliffhanger, was released by JMS Books in December 2020.

“Ulysses lives in suburban New Jersey with his husband of 45 years. They have two grown children, adopted in 1996.

“Ulysses is a great-great grandson of Ulysses S. Grant. His late mother, Julia, was the President’s last living great-grandchild; youngest daughter of Ulysses S. Grant III, and granddaughter of the president’s eldest son, Frederick. Every year on April 27 he gives a speech at Grant’s Tomb in New York City. He is also on the board of the U.S. Grant Presidential Library and Museum at Mississippi State University.”

And frankly, the novels sound like they slap:

Desmond was nominated for a Lambda Award.

“With his husband of 45 years.” You kids don’t know ... they got together before AIDS, at the peak of the Gay Glam Life. They stayed together as their generation died around them, and made through it to the point where they could marry and have a legal family. He looks like a chipper preppie who never had a serious thought or care in the world, but it took *incredible* determination, commitment, and also luck to get here.

45 years ago is 1978.

He and his husband got together when it was a crime to be gay in almost 3/4 of the US states. They saw the beginning of the AIDS epidemic - saw their friends die around them, saw the horrific negligence and cruelty of the medical industry and politicians and religious leaders alike declaring they should all die - and managed to stay together through that, through the fight for the right to live together legally and eventually the right to have their relationship recognized by the state.

...Some of the Boomers are actually okay.

Guy who’s only ever seen Rocky Horror Picture Show watching his second movie with the word “horror” on the cover.

phineas and ferb heritage post

Today I learned Phineas & Ferb’s dad is Riff-Raff.

that old butch les survey where one of the Qs was like “who is your butch role model?” n most of the butches answers was jst gay men. like soooo tru besties

this oneee, from Dagger: On Butch Women

peak solidarity! god i love being gay

i need everyone to understand bruces actions are always going to stem from his neverending guilt complex and unwavering love for people AND his dedication to be the most annoying cunt in any room

the second most important thing to keep in mind for his characterization is that hes always gonna be a girldad. even before he has a daughter—thats him in training to be a girldad

casveman in 40,000 BC after letting the fifth baby crawl off into the woods alone: hmm . maybe we should come up with another way to do this i dont think the first four are coming back

the idea of a prehistoric society with a 100% unconditional infant mortality rate is making me lose it

had some thoughts about how memes and internet culture has changed so much since i was a kid, so i decided to run a lil poll. let's go.

❗Pro tip: You can think about gay sex on the clock. It's free and they can't stop you.

This site really is lame as fuck for not hyping up girlprostate. Get it together people.

Yeah yeah big throbbing girlmeat whatever but you know what the best-- the best feeling, maybe of all time? Definitely of all time? When you're hitting from the back so good she has to cover her mouth. When she's riding your shit with half lidded eyes cus she only just recently broke up with her normie she/they ex and hasn't bottomed in 2 years because of this, and her schmeat is bouncing hypnotically and majestically. When you eat her ass so good her voice cracks. This site is 45% bottoms waving their throbbing rose colored holes around like stray cats and 52% bottoms who communicate through bad Lex poetry. It's time to step the game up.

so you're telling me Binghe wouldn't be jealous if he found out his shizun uses his fan to slap literally whoever. Literally shoving it in every local bitch's face. Annoying ass hamster man? Get smacked. Other demons? Get smacked. This fan smacked half of the overworld, and then shizun uses the same fan to bap Binghe's silly forehead as well. I'd be jealous as hell. Stop smacking whoever dammit, you're married

Is there a word for that like, “bright darkness” you get in winter?? When it’s been snowing or it’s supposed to snow past sunset and the sky isn’t Dark Enough. One of my favorite things

Thanks to @raindropwindow and a handful of articles, it’s called snow albedo, skyglow, snowglow, or just light scattering! It’s the result of moon- or artificial light reflecting off ground snow, low clouds, or ice crystals.

that nsfw snow…

⚠️ this blog does not support works created by AI software ⚠️

was gonna design a fishmonger character but now they are absolutely a fishfag

can zelda get him pregnant already damn

WHAT

can zelda (the princess of hyrule) get him (link the hero of legend) pregnant (cute 🥰) already damn (profanity)

Too many people are forgetting these things too quickly:

-SESTA/FOSTA passed. Despite the many, many warnings of sex workers.

-A bunch of apps started their censorship policies because Apple directly threatened their revenue if they didn't promise to cut down on the amount of porn on their sites

-MasterCard and VISA tried to outright stop processing OnlyFans work SPECIFICALLY because of the association with sex work, and no other feasible financial reason.

There is not a sudden regressive movement among individual people. Free The Nipple didn't fade into obscurity because people didn't care. It was stopped. By policies. By laws. By arrests. By censorship. These things have been purposefully put in place by companies and politicians. They saw the work we were trying to do wrt bodily autonomy, sexual liberation, and sexual freedom, and they forcibly put a stop to it.