bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

happy 3 yr anniversary to the post that singlehandedly launched the twilight renaissance

Happy 5 year anniversary to the effervescent snail post

When does the album drop?

As soon as he knocks it off the counter.

-St Augustine, on Alexander the Great

-This girl

They are both right

Drawing the wives being happily married

Several drawings I have done before(6)

Corn dogs are named for their traditional meat, the unicorn. As unicorns are now extinct, they can only be referred to properly as ‘Corn Dogs and not “Unicorn Dogs” as they were prior to 2009.

This is actually a common misconception! While the Unicorn Dog did exist and was discontinued following the extinction of unicorns in 2009, the Corn Dog is not a rebranding of the Unicorn Dog! The Corn Dog was created in 2003 by James H. Corn, though it remained a relatively unpopular Ohio treat until 2010 when Mr. Corn took the opportunity left by the Unicorn Dog’s exit from the market to take over the niche.

A Test of Strength 🏨

Magikarp & Wailord | OOYAMA

If the Lords actually got their shit together and teamed up to kill Miranda

Teamwork makes the dream work. Look how happy they could have been 🥲

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(Mis)Adventures of Little Wednesday- aka Wednesday’s mirror image niece

“Everyone’s favorite Auntie”

The gang was at the curb. Little Wednesday was happy to be outside with her brother and their friends. They saw the black SUV pull up.

The window rolled down.

Wednesday: all right everyone in. All of you are coming to our house for a play date. Your parents have been called. They will be coming for tacos for dinner and bringing clothes for a sleepover and pool party tomorrow

Little Wednesday: is this because I didn’t get detention today, Auntie Weenie? - asking as she led the gang inside the SUV

Wednesday: just good timing But we can have a celebration if you like. I did get a rather nasty phone call from Mr Wentworth earlier

Koda: Dayton’s dad?

Wednesday: yes. He and I go way back. He doesn’t like me very much - Wednesday smirked

Tyler: is it tru he only has one testicle?

Wednesday: yes. Ruthie, have you got Jack strapped in?

Ruthie: he’s secure, Auntie Weenie

Koda: why he have one testicle? Cancer?

GomezJr: Piranha!

Koda confused: what?

Little Wednesday: he bullied Papa in high school. Auntie Weenie averaged him. Put piranha in the water polo practice pool. One bit his testicle right off!

The gang laughed

Wednesday: all right then. Do you want to snack on stuff at the house? Get ice cream? Or something else.

Little Wednesday: Auntie Weenie? Can we get snacks at the Japanese market? Koda, will you help choose some good stuff?

Koda: yes

Wednesday: to the Japanese market! And Mi Diablo, do not forget your Auntie Eenie does not like strange things

The gang: Yippee! Auntie Weenie is the best!

Wednesday pulled out onto the road.

Y/N thinks Alcina is adorable when she's concentrating on something

18+ Minors DNI

“One day, someone is going to hug you so tight that all your broken pieces will stick back together.”

Tony and Y/N bragging about their sex lives to each other

Tony: Me and Pete do it every single night of the week. *Smirks* Bet you can't say the same for you and Nat.

Y/N: *Scoffs, puts a hand to their chin in thought* Nat's really busy. It can be hard to find time alone together. *Shrugs* But... I do have a bit of a dirty secret. Something that keeps the passion alive. *Wiggles their eyebrows*

Tony: *Leans closer, intrigued* Yeah?

Y/N: I can get a little... Rough with Nat in the bedroom.

Tony: *Laughs in disbelief, pats Y/N proudly on the back* Look at you taking charge, alpha dog!

Y/N: *Crosses their arms smugly* Yep. I don't mean to oversell myself, but I am pretty commanding.

Tony: *Shakes his head, grinning* Damn.

Tony and Y/N: *Both quiet for a moment*

Y/N: *Suddenly clears their throat in discomfort, chuckles nervously* Hehe...

Tony: *Quirks an eyebrow in confusion* What's wrong, Y/N?

Y/N: It's just, uhh... Last night was weird. I think I might've gone a little… Too hard on Nat.

Tony: *Eyes widen in surprise* What happened?

Y/N: Well... *Vividly describes the events of last night*

Last night:

Y/N: *Scratches the back of their head in embarrassment* I had a bad dream that I was covered in spiders.

Tony: So... I take it you're a bit of an arachnophobe?

Y/N: Not really. But me and Bucky watched this horror movie yesterday about spiders taking over a town. It really freaked me out!

Tony: I feel bad that you took it out on Nat...

Y/N: *Holds their face in their hands guiltily, groans* I do too! But I think my subconscious was just trying to protect me. I mean, technically I wasn't wrong. There was a Black Widow in my bed!

Tony: That doesn't even make sense, Y/N! Nat's not really a spider-

Peter: *Walks in* Hey, you two! I-

Y/N: *Shrieks in terror* ANOTHER SPIDER!!! *Punches Peter right in the throat*

Peter: *Chokes*

Tony: ...

Y/N: ...

Peter: *Trying not to throw up, slumping onto the floor*

Tony: *Turns to Y/N* How… Do you even function in society?

Y/N: Not well, Tony. Not well.

Peter: *Crumpled up in a fetal position, mutters under his breath* Clearly...

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Ajax: "Wednesday, just shut up!"

Enid: "Don't talk to Wednesday like that!"

Wednesday: "Seems you have choosing death as your plan of removal"

Weems and Thornhill sit in the back of the class and waits for the Raven to prepare her project presentation.

Weems: Oh god, I wonder what monstrosity she has in stores for us.

Thornhill: Can’t you just be positive for once, Larissa? Wednesday has been a great student this year! You have to stop being so negative towards her all the time.

Wednesday starts her slideshow: So today I’m going to teach you all How To Get Away With Murder!

Weems: Oh no.

Thornhill: Maybe it’s a joke. Maybe she has something else prepared.

Wednesday: I’m going to teach how to be an efficient killer-

Weems: Oh my god.

Wednesday: -And how to bury the body well so no one can find it.

Weems turns to Thornhill

Thornhill: I mean…. I- uh- I’m sure nobody here is going to take it seriously.

Wednesday: Any questions before we begin?

The whole class raises their hands.

Wednesday: You at the front.

Enid: Will it matter what we wear when we commit these murders?

Weems: Enid!

Enid: What?! That’s a valid question!

Thornhill: Okay maybe this was a mistake.

Ajax: "Enid, do you like me?"

Enid: "uhh..."

Wednesday: *steps in* "If she liked you, would she not be engaging in the romantic ritual of dating with you instead of me?"

Ajax & Enid: "What?"