happy birthday mr krabs

new acronym (i made myself)IASCGWCA4TY

Im A Super Cool Guy Who Creates Acronyms 4(for) The Youth 

i hate small talk, tell me about all the foreskins you have seen

mushrooms suck

source?

got a new guy at work called john like 3 days ago ye and hes got ‘Ian’ tattooed on his arm its like just ian?? not even in a cool font or italics or anything theres nothing else even tattooed on the arm and i been wondering the whole time who the fuck is ian? whys his name on this guys arm? what is the story behind the tattoo ?? anyway i found out earlier johns name is ian and ive been calling him john for the last few days and idk if i’ll ever recover 

new messaging thing was a mistake delete it

when you have a lot in common but you know hes only with you because you can slay dragons 

finally listened to hotline bling lmao embarrassing…. “drake wouldn’t treat me like this” ye okay

i want to be known as the kink shamer i want people to travel from all over the world to come see me so i can shame their kink

lasagna is a gateway kink one minute youre rubbing pasta on a tity next thing you know youre naked in the pasta aisle of a supermarket shouting choke me daddy

What

dont shame me i swear to frick u better not be shaming me rn

*me @ myself thinking about heelys*: calm down you sound desperate af…….

lasagna is a gateway kink one minute youre rubbing pasta on a tity next thing you know youre naked in the pasta aisle of a supermarket shouting choke me daddy

watched a video of a guy juggling while on fire like he was on fire why would he be juggling ? ? ?

i know i dont have the balls to do something like that

blocked

when tumblr users get anons asking them to post selfies and they aint even that attractive like my butthole is cuter send me anons asking to see my butthole

WHEN YOU HIT THE LAST LAP IN MARIO KART AND THE MUSIC SPEEDS UP

THIS IS SO CU TE IM SCREMING

the most wholesome meme

i didn’t think i’d ever find a quote to so accurately describe how i’m completing my exams