Still learning.
Books - http://debbietung.com/books
“The most dangerous thing a woman can possess is self-worth. Liking her own body, trusting her own instincts, valuing her own time and company, thinking she’s interesting and special, entering business and personal relationships based only on mutual benefit and respect. Sometimes this leads to advertisers having no idea how to corner us. If we don’t hate ourselves, how will we know what to buy? Sometimes self-worth leads to violence against us. Sometimes, though, self-worth sets us free.”
— Margaret Lyons, The Find Yourself Beauty of Shrill (via howtofightloneliness)
flowerais-deactivated20211031
trying and failing something is actually one of the best things that can happen to you. it’s nothing to feel bad about, it’s an essential part of growing. focus on doing your best, don’t worry about avoiding failure and you will learn and become better, no matter what the outcome is.
delladilly-deactivated20161011
do you ever see someone in some quiet intimate moment and suddenly love them so desperately you feel like you’re dying
I love seeing grown humans setting about little creative tasks out of boredom and then looking quietly pleased with themselves, like maybe a middle-aged woman on her train home from work manages to make a tower out of empty coffee creamers and gazes at it proudly for a few seconds.
I love seeing other people make the overblown OOPS I FORGOT SOMETHING performance for no-one that most of us do when we have to turn around in the middle of the pavement.
I love seeing stony-faced people in queues unable to contain a smile when a baby looking over its mother’s shoulder in front of them locks eyes and does that astonished stare.
brittajj26
- when someone is standing in line and they don’t quite dance to the music playing, but you can SEE their head bop and them mouthing the words
- when someone thinks no one’s paying attention and they sing-talk themselves thru a task
- when they laugh or try to hide a laugh when looking at their phone
- when someone does the thing where they enter another space (such as a supermarket aisle) striding with total purpose, then suddenly forget what they’re doing/looking for, and stop there looking blank for a millisecond while they reboot.
- when people are looking for scissors, in their home or in a store, and they make the scissors gesture with their non-dominant hand as an aid to remind them what they’re doing.
- when automatic social interactions glitch, like when you tell a waiter that you hope he enjoys his food too, or tell the stranger on the phone that you love them.
- the hand gesture people make when they’re thinking at their computer, not typing, and their elbow rests on the table, and they feel the edge of their fingernail with their thumb. This is such a lovely little gesture and to my knowledge I have never seen it in fiction. You’d think it would come up all the time in fic.
- when you’re sharing an experience with a complete stranger (like watching a seagull throw up in public, or waiting for a late train) and you make eye contact, and some comment to each other, and then you guys are, like, ALLIES now. Like you would willingly ride to war to save them. You can’t make eye contact again, but you are very aware of them.
- just evidence of other people’s rich, baffling and complex inner lives.
i love watching couples or friends walking in tandem. i love seeing when they make each other laugh
This is what Hozier means when he says ‘I fall in love just a little bit everyday with someone new.’
This this this^^^^^!!!!!!!
This is the kind of shit you need to look for if you’re in want of a romanticized existence.
if u weren’t aware of salvation army’s homophobia, its prety hardcore
wirstdate
a guy in a salvos truck yelled at me and my gf while we were kissing today so I was thinking of this
appropriately-inappropriate
Do you know, when I was in high-school I went to the mall near my house with my girlfriend to do some Christmas shopping.
We were there, sixteen year old me and seventeen year old her, holding hands and window-shopping, minding our own business.
This Salvation Army shitheel gets aggro about it in the middle of the mall and I’m there totally flabbergasted cause like, it’s christmas
Only, 16!Tabi had even less composure than 26!Tabi, so I lost my fucking mind on her.
Thing is: when I’m really angry, I don’t rage, I go all cold and apparently that freaks people out, because I could see my gf backing up and the lady getting tense and then I realized that anger doesn’t solve problems.
So instead, I started wailing.
Picture this: 5’4, tiny, blonde haired high school girl with her little violin on her back and pearls in her ears just as PTA-approved as could be, full on sobbing in the hallway.
Just, sobbing like my dog’s been shot.
Now my gf’s like, “oh fuck” and the lady’s like “oh fuuuuck!” and I’m here, head thrown back, tears down my cheeks and in that shrill, distressed, /loud/ voice, “WHY WOULD YOU B-b-be so MEAN?! It’s CHRISTMAS!”
And the lady’s like “please stop Oh fuck” because now we have a crowd, and this Molly Weasley of a woman putters over, “what’s the matter, dear?”
And mall security’s coming and this bell ringer is looking very uncomfortable so I just look at this matronly ellen-watching suburban housewife lady, eyes wide and wet and my lip wobbling.
“I was, she s-said, s-s-she said I was going to HELL!”
And I burst right back into tears.
Maaaaaaaan, they didn’t even stick around to ask why she’d said it. Soon as I said it, Mall po-po bounced her like a fucking pogo stick.
We get outside and my girlfriend’s like “that is the most Slytherin thing I have ever seen anyone do.”
It was four years before I saw the Army back in that mall.
goldstarprivilege
that is beautiful
Holiday reminder: don’t let anyone get away with trying to make you feel bad about yourself.
So yeah, they’re not just ‘homophobic’, they’re bigoted fucking murderers.
(Wikipedia article on her death conveniently (for SA) omits Salvation Army connection, linking only to expired articles from local newspapers)
SA claims that they didn’t turn her away, and accept all homeless people, except, it’s not like Jennifer Gale was only trans woman refused shelter by Salvation Army, making this denial appear to be worth less than bullshit:
and to think i was gonna help my aunt with this…
Annual reminder not to trust what our SA donations actually support.
There are plenty of other charities who help out the needy this time of year. Support a local food bank or community housing center.
pastelmemer
THIS IS SO IMPORTANT I’ve told ppl this but now I have sources
Salvation Army are scum. Judgemental assholes.
the-bluebonnet-bandit
🎊Tis the season for reminders: Salvation Army is a horrifically conservative as well as plainly ineffective charity that runs more like a business. And actively spreading reasons not to support them helps them wither amd make room for more productive and hollistic charities.
Another great seasonal reminder: Slytherins are awesome 🐍🐍🐍
It doesn’t run like a business. Businesses have to pay the women who work for them.
Few months early but if I see Salvation Army in a mile radius of me, I’m walking around with my pride flags
“When I started my musical career, I was a maid,” she told the audience. “I used to clean houses. My parents, my mother was a proud janitor. My stepfather, who raised me like his very own, worked at the post office and my father was a trash man — they all wore uniforms. And that’s why I stand here today in my black and white and I wear my uniform to honor them.”
Yall better not be pretending that Janelle Monae doesn’t fucking exist
Evan Rachel Wood is a badass who testified before a house judiciary subcommittee about being sexually assaulted. She's come to embrace her identity and self-expression as she's matured, and learned to love parts of herself that she formerly thought made her 'too masculine.' She's an incredible artist and musician. Don't you dare bring this woman down just so you can raise another up.
affectionatesuggestion
you’re never going to be exactly who you were last year, last month, even a minute ago. you’re constantly going to change and you are going to find people who will continue to love you, changes and all. so try to find it in yourself to love those changes too.
Being an adult virgin shouldn’t be thought of negatively, mocked, or inferiorized. Engagement in sexual activity shouldn’t be used as a tool to think of oneself as superior to those who don’t have sex.
Just in case someone needed to hear this today.
britp0p-deactivated20210628
i hope you have more moments where you feel so cared for you could cry. i hope you have more moments where you love the world so much you smile to yourself. i hope you have more moments where you feel genuinely, truly happy.
there will come a day where your bad days feel like your good days used to, and you’ll realize your good days are now better than you ever thought they could be.
you’ll notice yourself spiraling and think “I know how to handle this”.
that wave of old, bad feelings will wash over you and you’ll realize it hasn’t happened in a while, and this time you’re able to feel it and process it and let it go.
it’s hard work, but you’ll get there!
There’s so many posts about recovery, so here’s a shoutout to everyone with chronic conditions who can’t expect to make a full recovery:
To the people who will have to learn how to live with and manage their symptoms long term.
To the people who will always be sick and disabled no matter how hard they work or how many healthy choices they make.
To the people who will have to spend their whole lives working around and accommodating limits and impairments which most people don’t have to worry about.
To the people who have to figure out how to live a good and fulfilling life WITH their illness/disability and its symptoms.
To the people who will have to go “this is as good as it gets and that’s okay” even though they’re still struggling more than most people.
To the people who’ll never be able to put their diagnosis behind them.
I see you - and I absolutely promise you that even if you can’t ever get to live a symptom-free life, you can still learn how to live a good one.
plot twist: someone hears about every shitty thing you may or may not have done, every person you’ve hurt, every sin you’ve committed, and every ounce of pain you’ve created in someone else’s life… and they forgive you and choose you and they love you anyways.
“You must allow yourself to outgrow and depart from certain eras of your life with a gentle sort of ruthlessness.”
— Katy Maxwell // girl of the earth
violentwavesofemotion-deactivat
big "i am going to take my distance and actively protect my mental health" energy
wishbzne-deactivated20210526
“Girls, taught to ignore their anger, become disassociated from themselves.”
— Soraya Chemaly, from Does Your Daughter Know It’s OK To Be Angry?
These are glorious!
in therapy my therapist and i were talking about my own feelings of self worth in relationships. and she asked me to say qualities about myself that someone else would be attracted to, on a romantic and platonic level. so i named some things like compassionate, empathetic, etc. and she said “you named things that you can give someone. ways you can serve, rather than ways that you are” and y'all..my mind was blown that’s gonna stick with me forever like she then proceed to tell me actual innate qualities about myself that she liked and thought anyone else would like as well and i hadn’t even considered those because like she said i was focused on things i could do outwardly to attract and maintain connections rather than who i was as a person..goddamn!!! thats tea!!!
With this in mind, this also makes me think of the ways people describe us. When people say the reasons that they love/like you or describe you as a person, are they only naming ways that you serve them? Are they equating your worth with how much you do for them?
ex. “You’re such a good listener. You’re so generous, you’re so compassionate. You’re always there for me. You always hold me down. You’re reliable”
vs.
“You’re so funny! You’re very vibrant. You’re creative, passionate, and intelligent. You’re optimistic. You’re so talented at ____” , etc. I think that’s very telling.
hauntified
This FUCKED relationships up too because once this hit me, I realized people can just be in love with the way you make them feel instead of who you actually are. ALWAYS pay attention to the last little “vs” but there because it IS super telling
Lepo - Frans Toikkanen , 1971.
Finnish,1926-2008
Mezzotinto,24.4 x 49.4 cm.