is it okay to smell every single candle when you’re in the candle section of a store? i’m asking for a friend. i’m kidding. i’m not asking for a friend. i was asking for me. and i actually don’t care if it’s okay. i’m going to do it anyway
hello……. i think i am falling for y—
*actually falls over*
my husband of twenty years: i love you me: he’s just saying that to be nice
gamer bros: let writers and game devs have the creative freedom to write whatever characters they want, it’s censorship to try and tell them what they can or should do
blizzard: uses their creative freedom to write diverse characters
gamer bros:
me: *watches a show called How to Get Away With Murder*
me: man there’s so much murder on this show
i alwways would see these and wonder how it happens …
When you say swear to god and he bring his ear close to listen to the lie you bout to tell
who the fuck chooses the actors in infomercials
I want to be an overactor in an informercial. I feel it’s the role I was born to play.
Me: I’m sorry
Someone: What are you sorry for?
Me:
*puts myself out there*
*brings myself back*
eatin a peach
You win this round cheese
actually that is a rectangle cheese
[oxford comma laughing in the distance]
[vocative comma wondering what oxford comma thinks it’s doing here]
I already reblogged this for the pun but I’m reblogging again for the sick punctuation banter
