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COLD ALBION

@coldalbion / coldalbion.tumblr.com

Sorcery & Storytelling by a (Crippled) Bearded Frothing Madman. Elder Millennial old enough to remember when you didn't tell the internet your age. ++Nazis Are Distinctly Unwelcome++

I had forgotten how intense the STRANGE NEW WORLDS cast-and-character chemistry is. Holy shit. It's not just that they're all *stupidly* hot, it's also the way those characters are *inhabited*

Anonymous asked:

Some Granny Weatherwax propaganda:

- Literally lives in the village of Bad Ass.

- Was bitten by some vampires once; they all started craving tea and cookies.

- Intimidated Death into losing a card game against her.

- Had a staring match against the sun, for multiple hours; only stopped because she heard a child crying.

- Always knows who and where she is.

- Grabbed a sword by the blade and 'didn't have time to get cut by it'

- Set a voodoo doll of herself on fire by sticking her hand into a torch.

- Did not run with the bulls; forced them to run away instead.

Bonus Nanny Ogg Propaganda:

- Rules the Ogg clan with an iron fist

- Brews her own alcohol strong enough to dissolve metal

- Can crack coconuts with her thighs

- Rumored to be even smarter than Granny Weatherwax

- Had a farmhouse land on her head ala The Wizard of Oz, and was fine

- Owns Greebo, a four legged demon in the shape of a cat.

Bonus Bonus Greebo Propaganda:

- Has killed at least two vampires.

- Said to be the single male ancestor of every cat in a wide radius

- Can turn into a human; he still has his claws in this shape

They sound so iconic honestly

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Bonus bonus bonus Greebo propaganda (this is very relevant timing): When he was turned human, his human form had such strong sexual energy that he was described as being capable of commiting sexual harassment by sitting quietly in the next room. But Granny and Nanny are not taken in by him because as far as Nanny is concerned he is a little kitty cat and Granny just thinks he sucks

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“We all have forests on our minds. Forests unexplored, unending. Each one of us gets lost in the forest, every night, alone.”

Ursula K. Le Guin

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from time to time people are like why do you still care so much about the invasion of Iraq, it was twenty years ago, but nothing is over, nothing is finished, if you care about what's happening today will you still care about it in twenty years time?

you have invited strangers into your home, helen pevensie, mother of four.

without the blurred sight of joy and relief, it has become impossible to ignore. all the love inside you cannot keep you from seeing the truth. your children are strangers to you. the country has seen them grow taller, your youngest daughter’s hair much longer than you would have it all years past. their hands have more strength in them, their voices ring with an odd lilt and their eyes—it has become hard to look at them straight on, hasn’t it? your children have changed, helen, and as much as you knew they would grow a little in the time away from you, your children have become strangers.

your youngest sings songs you do not know in a language that makes your chest twist in odd ways. you watch her dance in floating steps, bare feet barely touching the dewy grass. when you try and make her wear her sister’s old shoes—growing out of her own faster than you think she ought to—, she looks at you as though you are the child instead of her. her fingers brush leaves with tenderness, and you swear your daughter’s gentle hum makes the drooping plant stand taller than before. you follow her eager leaps to her siblings, her enthusiasm the only thing you still recognise from before the country. yet, she laughs strangely, no longer the giggling girl she used to be but free in a way you have never seen. her smile can drop so fast now, her now-old eyes can turn distant and glassy, and her tears, now rarer, are always silent. it scares you to wonder what robbed her of the heaving sobs a child ought to make use of in the face of upset.

your other daughter—older than your youngest yet still at an age that she cannot be anything but a child—smiles with all the knowledge in the world sitting in the corner of her mouth. her voice is even, without all traces of the desperate importance her peers carry still, that she used to fill her siblings’ ears with at all hours of the day. she folds her hands in her lap with patience and soothes the ache of war in your mind before you even realise she has started speaking. you watch her curl her hair with careful, steady fingers and a straight back, her words a melody as she tells your eldest which move to make without so much a glance at the board off to her right. she reads still, and what a relief you find this sliver of normalcy, even if she’s started taking notes in a shorthand you couldn’t even think to decipher. even if you feel her slipping away, now more like one of the young, confident women in town than a child desperately wishing for a mother’s approval.

your younger son reads plenty as well these days, and it fills you with pride. he is quiet now, sitting still when you find him bent over a book in the armchair of his father. he looks at you with eyes too knowing for a petulant child on the cusp of puberty, and no longer beats his fists against the furniture when one of his siblings dares approach him. he has settled, you realise one evening when you walk into the living room and find him writing in a looping script you don’t recognise, so different from the scratched signature he carved into the doors of your pantry barely a year ago. he speaks sense to your youngest and eldest, respects their contributions without jest. you watch your two middle children pass a book back and forth, each a pen in hand and sheets of paper bridging the gap between them, his face opening up with a smile rather than a scowl. it freezes you mid-step to find such simple joy in him. remember when you sent them away, helen, and how long it had been since he allowed you to see a smile then?

your eldest doesn’t sleep anymore. none of your children care much for bedtimes these days, but at least sleep still finds them. it’s not restful, you know it from the startled yelps that fill the house each night, but they sleep. your eldest makes sure of it. you have not slept through a night since the war began, so it’s easy to discover the way he wanders the halls like a ghost, silent and persistent in a duty he carries with pride. each door is opened, your children soothed before you can even think to make your own way to their beds. his voice sounds deeper than it used to, deeper still than you think possible for a child his age and size. then again, you are never sure if the notches on his door frame are an accurate way to measure whatever it is that makes you feel like your eldest has grown beyond your reach. you watch him open doors, soothe your children, spend his nights in the kitchen, his hands wrapped around a cup of tea with a weariness not even the war should bring to him, not after all the effort you put into keeping him safe.

your children mostly talk to each other now, in a whispered privacy you cannot hope to be a part of. their arms no longer fit around your waist. your daughters are wilder—even your older one, as she carries herself like royalty, has grown teeth too sharp for polite society— and they no longer lean into your hands. your sons are broad-shouldered even before their shirts start being too small again, filling up space you never thought was up for taking. your eldest doesn’t sleep, your middle children take notes when politicians speak on the wireless and shake their heads as though they know better, and your youngest sings for hours in your garden.

who are your children now, helen pevensie, and who pried their childhood out of your shaking hands?

@edderkopper ...I was going to make a joke about delta-9 being another name for THC, but... and to be clear, this is on me and I am ashamed, because I did do some amount of browsing for that playlist, but it somehow did not occur to me to be completely literal and straightforward with the query. as always, this was a MISTAKE, because I am pleased to announce

THE MYTH HATH ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN, ROLLED, AND SMOKED

The lyrics, in case one is unaccustomed to Metal Growls: "As the cauldron fills up with mead Odin succumbs to a hazy need He craves a feeling higher perception He founded a plant to better the nation

Odin the allfather Father to plants father to life Odin lights his smoke Smoke of the green ending all strife

Fills his lungs full of the green Exhales life into the trees Binding the souls with coloured stem Creating a life no further with Chen's

Odin the allfather Father to plants father to life Odin lights his smoke Smoke of the green ending all strife"

@disir-ex-machina Speaking of speed, and riding...

@edderkopper ...I was going to make a joke about delta-9 being another name for THC, but... and to be clear, this is on me and I am ashamed, because I did do some amount of browsing for that playlist, but it somehow did not occur to me to be completely literal and straightforward with the query. as always, this was a MISTAKE, because I am pleased to announce

THE MYTH HATH ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN, ROLLED, AND SMOKED

The lyrics, in case one is unaccustomed to Metal Growls: "As the cauldron fills up with mead Odin succumbs to a hazy need He craves a feeling higher perception He founded a plant to better the nation

Odin the allfather Father to plants father to life Odin lights his smoke Smoke of the green ending all strife

Fills his lungs full of the green Exhales life into the trees Binding the souls with coloured stem Creating a life no further with Chen's

Odin the allfather Father to plants father to life Odin lights his smoke Smoke of the green ending all strife"

@edderkopper ...I was going to make a joke about delta-9 being another name for THC, but... and to be clear, this is on me and I am ashamed, because I did do some amount of browsing for that playlist, but it somehow did not occur to me to be completely literal and straightforward with the query. as always, this was a MISTAKE, because I am pleased to announce

THE MYTH HATH ALREADY BEEN WRITTEN, ROLLED, AND SMOKED

The lyrics, in case one is unaccustomed to Metal Growls: "As the cauldron fills up with mead Odin succumbs to a hazy need He craves a feeling higher perception He founded a plant to better the nation

Odin the allfather Father to plants father to life Odin lights his smoke Smoke of the green ending all strife

Fills his lungs full of the green Exhales life into the trees Binding the souls with coloured stem Creating a life no further with Chen's

Odin the allfather Father to plants father to life Odin lights his smoke Smoke of the green ending all strife"

Mike and Mac

Me: *Watching a bad post appear as one scrolls through the dash, pausing, wondering whether to reply in order to cause strife and carnage - or bring nuance and accurate knowledge along with significant discomfort and ambiguity - but ultimately resisting by doing my equivalent of pulling my hatbrim down over my face/keeping scrolling* The Old Man, on Hliðskjálf: You see what I go through now, right?

For the ten thousandth time, technologies and tools ARE NOT MORALLY NEUTRAL. The biases and desires of the creators inherently influence the form and shape the technology takes.

Can a tool or technology be used differently? Yes. But the initial biases still bloody exist. There is no blank page, no tabula rasa, no pure unadulterated ur-use or meaning. No tool or technology is pure or divorced from the context that created it.

Anonymous asked:

Hey speaking of eldritch what happened to the Lovecraft weirdo you guys were dealing with?

Only just realised what this refers to. So, levels of I dunno and zero fucks given are rather high. Mmm.

The greatest song ever written was conjured by an Italian for a scene in a Western filmed in Spain where a Polish man pretending to be a Mexican bandit does a gay little run through a graveyard for three and a half minutes uninterrupted

You can’t just say that and not show us

I'd love to see it

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where is that ‘they weren’t lying’ dog meme…

If I may.

Imagine discovering The Good, The Bad and The Ugly this way  lmao