HAND ON MY HEART. HAND ON MY STUPID HEART
ross gay / susan sontag / unknown / richard siken / warsan shire / lana del ray / tturing / hera lindsay bird / richard siken

HAND ON MY HEART. HAND ON MY STUPID HEART
ross gay / susan sontag / unknown / richard siken / warsan shire / lana del ray / tturing / hera lindsay bird / richard siken
Do you have any fic recs? Anything you've been reading recently? I'm done with everything you had on ao3 and i'm so starved for good fics 😭
First of all, let me just say thank you for scouring my AO3 collection. That means so much, you've really no idea.
Secondly, I am so sorry this has taken me so long! I've mentioned before that a lot of my favored fics are old, which means they take a while to collect as I've lost most of my old bookmarks. A lot aren't even on AO3, which makes it even more difficult to find them. Some aren't even available any longer, which is infinitely sadder, but I've gathered the ones I've been able to track down again. I hope you enjoy!
Exhibit A by minnow_53 - A tale told by a bedspread, full of sound and fury... A key witness recounts the events leading up to a murder trial.
Camp Rome by rhye - AU: Remus kills Severus and is sent to an internment camp in his fourth year at Hogwarts. James never forgives Sirius, and Sirius transfers to Durmstrang. At the end of the war, Sirius and Remus strike up an unlikely friendship that rapidly becomes something much more. (PLEASE NOTE: this contains no tags, but all warnings are the author's note at the beginning. Please pay attention to those. This is not a happy fic but it is GOOD.)
Ernie Ecklestein and the Completely Useless Trip by mindabbles - This isn’t exactly the morning after of Sirius’ fantasies or the first Order assignment he'd hoped for, but then one thing he’s learned is that very little is what you expect. Sometimes it might even be better, if you let it.
Any Wolfstar work by sheafrotherdon, but especially:
Abner of Astlegate's Most Splendid Pox - Remus is sick, and Sirius is nursemaid. Imagine . . .
The Great Mud-Dunking Tussle of 1978 (and other tales) - January 1978, and Sirius is visited by An Idea with big plans for the day. This is the story of the chaos that ensued.
Growing Pains by bigsadwolf - Remus wants a child, and turns out Sirius does, too. That doesn't make it any less scary, though. It's not just that Remus is trans - and isn't it weird for a man to carry a child? - it's more that Remus is fucked up in too many ways to count, and life is painful, and who even gave him the right?
On the other hand, Harry is perfect, and Remus has plenty of good people around him, to remind him that he, too, deserves good things. (Mind the tags on this one)
Hunger by @spikybanana - “Absolutely every way that a world could possibly be is a way that some world is.” [David Lewis] Every story is a world, and every world is real. Both Remus and Sirius had always been able to see each other in every world— except their own.
Early Morning, London Skyline by nerakrose - Sirius and Remus are patrolling the East English airspace when they get summoned for a top-secret mission.
I did not wake up today ready to be among a list like this oh my god. thank you so much T-T
“how can people sit on a train and not notice each other? how can people resist the urge to connect somehow?…can people feel my eyes on them as I do theirs on me? do we all know that we’re here in this social prison system? why aren’t we more prepared to have more fun being human beings? will women ever outgrow the scars inflicted upon them by a world ruled by men? must my fantasies be stuck working overtime?…my hair looks like shit and i’m feeling embarrassed and ugly all-around.” oh jeff
to want and be wanted
georges bataille / emily palermo / olivia laing / @chaandajaan / georges bataille / cj hauser / @kvetchkween / @nicholasbraungf / vi khi nao / silas denver melvin
hallo! Okurr so this is officially part 2 of my “literary” (by which I mostly just mean fucking beautiful) wolfstar recs & it covers the various post-2010 gems that I’ve managed to discover/read thus far. Posted this to reddit back on Remus’s bday because I’m a big nerd & thought that would be cute, but I’ve tidied it up just slightly since then bc the original post was an utterly a spur-of-the-moment thing & riddled with typos, etc.
As a general disclaimer, I abandoned fandom in like 2009-ish & have only been back for a few months so I can only imagine I’ve probably missed SO many lovely stories/authors (!!) and can only beg their forgiveness in advance. Still, wanted to post what I've got so far & hopefully one day I shall update or add a part 3 when I’ve had more time to read/explore contemporary ("contemporary") fandom.
And now, in no particular order whatsoever – modern wolfstar classics <3 -
Already recced imchan on the last list, I know, but these two were written post-2010 (meaning I just discovered them within the last 2 or 3 months lol) and are fucking beautiful, so. "We Build Our Own Unfolding" is a post-Hogwarts get-together about the death of Remus's mother, and "Longsdune" is an atmospheric multi-era fic that centers around an abandoned train station. Anyway, again, everything imochan writes is painfully gorgeous.
a history of sexuality, vol. 1 by istajmaal.
I think this is the author's only wolfstar fic but ohmygosh, it's so charming and also just achingly lovely. As the title would imply, it focuses on Sirius's sexual awakening & schoolboy crush on Remus but - God. It's just beautiful and heartbreaking and perfect. (Very minor spoiler alert but this fucking line: “Sorry I can’t make you feel normal” / “You’ve driven me so mad I don’t even care.” Kills me every time.)
annual honesty by @alwaysalreadyangry aka tigrrmilk.
This is such a beautiful and original take on the Prank, very dreamy (both in vibe and literal content, lol); Snape utilizes legilimency & dream magic in his attempts to discover what the Marauders are hiding. Walburga's also a creepy legilimens in this one, and ever since reading this fic I truly can't imagine her any other way.
grounded (& the rest of the listeneise series) by @yeats-infection aka fluorescentgrey.
Okay so fluorescentgrey has written SO many wolfstar fics and as of yet I still haven't read the vast majority of them but, but. I would be willing to bet that they are all amazing, because what I have read of hers so far is so stunningly beautiful and distinctive. I recced "Grounded" because it's a personal favorite, a Grimmauld Era canon-ish story with so many unbearably and achingly gorgeous lines, but it's actually the third part in a series (Listeneise) & every story in the series is wonderful.
EXILE/RETURN (& the rest of the empire falling series) by @polytony aka zambla.
This one's actually the last part of a series (Empire Falling), and everything in the series is beautiful and absolutely worth reading, but this one happens to be my favorite so it is now the one I'm linking here :). This is a non-magic AU and homage to Derek Jarman; Remus is a Jarman-esque artist who dies of AIDS and Sirius his surviving partner, who reads Remus’s old journals and reflects on their lives together as he travels Wales. The writing is fucking beautiful and it HURTS.
stick season by mombasas.
Such a sweet, charming premise (in which Remus unwittingly becomes the go-to helping-hand for "all things monthly" at Hogwarts) and the prose is wonderfully sharp and clean. And the PINING. This fic is pure UST/pining/etc., and it's so, so lovely.
between the moon and the stars by llassah.
A beautiful, imagistic, atmospheric get-together fic, in which James is distracted and Remus and Sirius spend most of the summer before seventh year attached at the mouth. This one is just so pretty.
light in august by orestesfasting aka @newsom.
Ahhh, the Sirius-visits-Remus-over-the-summer fic to end all Sirius-visits-Remus-over-the-summer fics. A charming, lovely, gorgeously imagistic get-together story (in which Remus and Hope Lupin are both, like, adorably granola). I mean, what else is there even to say here. This story is beautiful and happy and just, wow.
all manner of wolves & leave the children behind by @montpahrnah aka montparnasse.
Montparnasse is another one who has apparently written a LOT of wolfstar and I am just one busy human who has still not read sooo many of her fics, but they're probably all amazing because her prose is truly beautiful. "All Manner of Wolves" is a short sweet little first-kiss fic, and "Leave the Children Behind" is a long, beautiful Lie Low at Lupin's story. Again, her prose, her imagery/descriptive language, her use of metaphor . . . utterly stunning.
Omg ANOTHER author with so many fics that I've yet to read, but istg one day I will because her writing is so original and gorgeous - atmospheric and richly imagistic, full of creative metaphors, I mean - I could go on. I love everything I've read by her. "of witness testimony" is this lovely and funny and yet PAINFUL, utterly painful story from Peter's POV, in which he observes (and the other oblivious Marauders do not, lol) Sirius's immense affection for/growing attraction to Remus; "in lieu of beaujolais" is a charming post-Hogwarts story in which Remus and Sirius get a flat and sometimes hook-up and spend quite a lot of time misunderstanding each other/talking around their feelings.
static by dustmouth.
Okay this is actually a graphic fic/comic/etc. (so, pictures + words!), and probably I was the last person on earth to discover it, but anyway, it's haunting and beautiful and I can't let it go unrecced.
An era-shifting (mainly post-Halloween & Lie Low at Lupin's) fic with, just, such lovely writing, and so much hurt, and - ah. Featuring an epigraph of obscure contemporary poetry and Lyall Lupin as a somewhat reserved but actually fucking amazing father. This story is just gut-punchy and achy and gorgeous.
THE FIRST SCENE. This story, this fucking story. I must rec it because it contains the most stunningly PSYCHO characterization of eleven-year-old Remus, and I cannot even. That freaking first scene has become one of my all-time favorite fanfic moments *ever.* Anyhow the story features various crucial bites in the lives of Remus & Sirius. Also, it is lovely and angsty and tender and so very good. And another author with so many wolfstar fics that istg one day I will read! Because this.
<3<3<3
p.s. tried to tag all the authors I could find on tumblr, but pls lmk if I missed anyone.
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continuing to tag authors i find them, pls just lmk if you'd like a tag or story removed
hi yes i do want yr favorite remuses actually <3
june!!! of course!!! here is the list for our man's man, starting with your very own beautiful baby:
Against the Moon, by Stoplight Delight
Our Private Universe, by busaikko
A Lie Gets Halfway Around the School Before the Truth Has a Chance to Get Its Pants On by MidniteMarauder
and this one, whenever i forget how he sounded like and need to pin down his truest voice:
okurr so. As someone who is officially old & read/wrote wolfstar as a teenager & then totally abandoned fanfic, etc., in like 2009 or something & then inexplicably returned a few months ago (actually, no, I can absolutely explain my return and it's Hanya Yanagihara's fault but not at all in the way you're thinking - maybe material for a weird rant post one day?) - ANYWAY. I'm secretly a horrible cunt with annoyingly picky taste (sry I try so hard to be nice I swear) and have spent way too much time at this point refinding my old fave wolfstar fics/discovering new stories that meet my obnoxiously high standards SO. SO, the logical next step seemed to be to share these beautiful stories with the world instead of hoarding them all on my laptop or whatever.
Point being, here is part 1 of a rec list which I originally posted to reddit (mostly because getting a reddit seemed like less work/commitment than getting a tumblr but HERE I AM now on TUMBLR having fully succumbed to my fannish impulses so, whoops) which I am calling "literary wolfstar recs." Everything below is just copied/pasted from my reddit post, & soon I'll post my part 2 ("modern classics" - i.e. the post-2010 wolfstar stories I've found/loved so far).
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Okay y'all. I threatened to do it and now I am doing it. This here is a rec list of "literary" wolfstar classics (all were originally written/posted pre-2010, many were written 2005 or earlier). By "literary" I mostly just mean heartbreakingly gorgeous with, like, decent grammar to boot. Sort of a rec list for snobbish lit-crit cunts like me (& probably Remus) and especially for any of you sweet children who weren't lurking the internet when a lot of these were being written/posted and may have missed some or all of these utterly seminal wolfstar texts :). Since returning to fic a few months ago after, like, a trillion years away, I've also discovered a few "new" (i.e. post-2010 lol) authors with some breathtakingly lovely and "literary" stories, and I'll try to get around to eventually compiling those into a similar list at a later date when I've got more free time. Probably won't be for a while yet.
So, without further ado/in no particular order - literary wolfstar classics:
"redeeming time" by minx.
A true classic. Written well before HBP (and maybe even before OOTP? - I'm not sure). A post-prank narrative told entirely from James's perspective (so it's also, of course, James/Lily, although wolfstar is the main storyline) and spanning Nov. 1976 - Nov. 1977. Minx's clean, straightforward prose works so perfectly for this story; it's, like, the quintessential growing-up narrative (but with gay wizards). This, this will always be canon to me. An all-time fave.
"fingerholds" by centaurea.
As far as I know, this is the author's only wolfstar fic, and omfg it is breathtakingly gorgeous. Non-linear narrative that shifts between First War & Lost Years. It tells the story of Remus and Sirius coming together after Hogwarts and then falling apart under the terror/suspicion of war. Again, the writing is fucking beautiful - imagistic, atmospheric, rife with metaphor. This might possibly be my favorite fanfic ever, although I really don't know because that's such a tough call. But anyway, this story will make you hurt.
"vector," "gasp," & "wane" by @rageprufrock.
Pru has written a number of wolfstar classics, so you can't go wrong with anything by her, but I picked these three because they strike me as the most "literary" (i.e. achingly gorgeous) of the lot. "Vector" is a lovely reflective piece in which Sirius, sidetracked by various memories in the midst of Christmas shopping, realizes he's in love with Remus; "Gasp" is basically just a beautiful, atmospheric sex scene (complete with a charming and pitch-perfect Confession of Feelings); "Wane" is a dreamy and poetic "fairytale for Remus," spanning his early childhood up through (and slightly beyond) Sirius's death in OOTP. I adore all of them. Her lighter/funnier fics (like "Seven Things") are also great so check those out, too.
Absolutely everything imochan creates is gorgeous and she's written so many wolfstar classics. But I picked "The Times" for this list because the joy, the joy in this story is just so wonderful and palpable. It's a non-magic AU set in 1930s Ireland; Sirius is a paperboy and Remus works at the news office. This story is so beautifully written and unquestionably ranks among my all-time faves. A few other imochan classics I adore include "Liars Leaving My House," "Five Ways to Open Your Arms," & "Oh, Night, and Divine (The Selfish Wish Remix)." But really, anything by her is pretty much guaranteed to be gorgeous and wonderful.
"that the science of cartography is limited" by @sashayed aka rave/dorkorific.
Another true classic. Authored by one-half of the Shoebox Project team. Written pre-HBP, shifts back-and-forth in time between MWPP/post-Hogwarts days & post-OOTP/Remus in the aftermath of the veil, with the Marauders' Map and the boys' attempts to trace Hogwarts' ever-shifting walls with language becoming a sort of broad metaphor for the utterly tangible and seemingly solid yet eternally shifting, breathy, unstable, always-already crumbling foundations of human relationships - the "built-in" loss of relational existence. I mean, just beautiful.I cannot even. Another story that will hurt you.
Based on Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" and another true wolfstar classic. A poetic imagining of Sirius's fall through the veil as a sort of dreamy exploration of various major fork-roads in his life, with each section of the story depicting a diverging (i.e. non-canon) path from Sirius's reality. And the final dream scene - ohmyfuckinggod. You will cry. Unless your heart is, like, stone, but maybe even then. I'm so sorry because I'm just now realizing I should have probably called this rec list "wolfstar for masochists" or something like that because so many of these stories are just brutal. As a side note, kaydeefalls also has a number of other lovely fics worth checking out, such as "Quiet" and "Twas Brillig, and the Slithy Toves."
"in love" by minnow_53.
I adore minnow! She has written so many charming, clever, sweet (& often hilarious) wolfstar stories, and she has this way of stepping a bit outside of the characters and creating a fly-on-the-wall sort of vibe that is just so wry and funny, but also at times becomes ridiculously poignant. I know I already used this word but her prose is just charming, idk what else to even say. I picked "In Love" for this list because it is so fucking sweet, in the best way possible, and fairly indicative of her style generally, and also, just - ugh. How can this story not make you happy. The title is self-explanatory. Other fics by Minnow that I especially love include "The Cure" and "What We Did In The Holidays" (these two are just utterly hilarious).
"beat the devil" & "the love there that's sleeping" by musesfool/victoria_p.
Musesfool has written so many wolfstar classics that I cannot possibly account them all here and I'm pretty sure I haven't even read most of them. She is, like, prolific, and you likely can't go wrong with anything by her. But anyhow, I picked these two because they are, in different ways, so particularly gorgeous. "Beat the Devil" is a First War/Sirius pining/hook-up fic with just, such great atmosphere; the story is just thick with atmosphere. And "The Love There That's Sleeping" is a MWPP-era, Beatles-infused, cut-it-with-a-knife-sexual-tension sort of thing that is also, just, so lovely.
"the shortest distance between two people" by riko.
A year-by-year MWPP era fic (each section occurring during the corresponding Hogwarts year) that is just so lovely and charming and often so funny but with so much freaking hurt, too. And these utterly perfect characterizations to boot. This story is just good, I mean, really what else can I say.
"written by hand" & "the moon's significant tremble" by setissma.
I think setissma has written a lot of wolfstar (and some of it may even be hard to find now?) but I picked these two because they are just so lovely. "Written by Hand" features this beautiful premise where Remus has to spend a summer in Romania with no way of communicating with his friends/loved ones, and so with their consent he charms the walls in his summer flat to display everything they write down (letters, grocery lists, all of it). "The Moon's Significant Tremble" is a lovely non-magic AU wherein Sirius is posh and Remus is a schoolteacher and they meet on a train when Remus may or may not be attempting to steal Sirius's watch.
"a peripheral vision" by carmine_ink.
Another heartbreakingly lovely AU set in the 1890s, Cambridge, wherein Remus and Sirius share the misfortune of falling in love in a time/place where that sort of thing is Quite Illegal Indeed, and Remus's lycanthropy is beautifully translated into epilepsy.
"the drought story" by librae.
Librae's style is just so pretty - everything she writes is so atmospheric and poetic and richly imagistic. "Drought Story" takes place the summer between sixth and seventh year; Remus's owl dies and Sirius pays him a visit for the funeral rites. I don't even know how else to describe this story, other than - just lovely.
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AND here are some "honorable mentions" aka more lovely/charming/very well-written wolfstar classics that I just don't have the time/energy to type up full summaries for rn. But these are also all very, very good!
"a few mornings in january" by omgsubtext - in which Remus maybe sort of forgets to tell Sirius he's moved in with him, actually.
"ever after" by busaikko - in which Remus is a geeky astrophysicist & Sirius a gay Scheherazade.
"delta" by fahye - in which every single sentence is so poetically crafted.
"it's not the years, honey, it's the mileage" by thistlerose - in which Remus turns thirty-five and Sirius brings him stolen library books.
"cooler than frogs" by penknife - in which Sirius has a secret, and lycanthropy is very cool.
"the curious incident of the dog in the nighttime" by penknife - in which Sirius is Harry's brooding, Rochester-esque guardian, and Remus Harry's private tutor.
"a flame in two cupped hands" by such_heights - in which Sirius adorably pines.
"for someone came and kissed me there" by such_heights - in which Remus gives Sirius a scandal for Christmas.
"as red as hearts and autumn" by rosemaryandrue - in which Remus has a sexual encounter in front of mermaids under Brighton Pier.
"fire shadows" by mysecretashes - in which Remus, Sirius, and Peter spend the summer before seventh year at James's.
"being an historical record . . ." by moonpants - in which Remus is ambushed by James during truth-or-dare.
"earl grey" by mariinarusalka - in which Remus drinks tea.
"heat the winter floods" by daphnaea - in which R & S share a flat, and Remus keeps piles.
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AND, finally, just for fun, this classic essay re: the canonical evidence for wolfstar, because I love close-reading and such nerdy shit as that: "the case for r / s" by elwing_alcyone.
<3<3<3
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oh and p.s. many thanks to @broomsticks for being so sweet & acclimating me to the wild world of tumblr!!
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continuing to tag authors as i find them, pls lmk if you would like a tag or story removed
I have just spent some very lovely time sighing happily over your fic and browsing your AO3 bookmarks, so wanted to ask: what writers do you admire or have affected your own writing? Fanfic, non-fanfic, poetry, anything. I need to wallow in feels.
Hey, you! IS THIS AN EXCUSE FOR FIC RECS? I’m going to use it as an excuse for fic recs!
I think a lot of the fanfic that’s had the Most Profound-est effect/influence on me has been Sirius/Remus fic—which is maybe a little weird because I’ve only come to the pairing relatively recently, in the scheme of things, but that ship is a GOLDMINE of beauty and loveliness and utter devastation with some staggeringly talented writers. kestrelsan was one of the first I stumbled across: House and Three Days in particular have stuck with me for their understated nature—there’s a lot going on in them, all so quietly. I’m always envious of people who have that ability to grab you by the throat so softly, which is something I’ve tried to do, with, I think, limited success.
And then there’s imochan, who does things with words that are flat-out indecent (read this, it’s unbelievable) and chews up my heart like nobody else can. Common Woodbrown is hands-down the best depiction of Remus Lupin I’ve ever read—honestly it’s probably the most incredible character piece I’ve ever read; it’s definitely influenced my own interpretation of Remus and is, in general, representative of everything I want to be when I grow up because her writing is so good it makes me want to combust. It’s the sort of visceral, almost blindingly beautiful thing I can only dream of tbh. Oh, Night and Divine, also, is the most overwhelmingly gorgeous, PROFOUNDLY HURTFUL thing I’ve ever read.
Thistlerose has an amazing knack for being really poignant and sweet and funny and devastating somehow all at once—sometimes within the same sentence!—that I completely adore and deeply aspire to! It’s Not the Years, Honey, It’s the Mileage is brilliant, and This One’s For You makes me angry because technically it’s kind-of-sort-of a songfic, which would normally be a blaring red neon NO for me, but it’s just deeply, unfathomably perfect and I’ve read it like twenty times and I still don’t understand how she did it. Her Ginny/Luna is a delight, too.
Being an Historical Record… and I See a Darkness, by sodomquake, collectively fucked me up for like a month! They range from astoundingly sweet to astoundingly gut-wrenching, and they’re both amazing chronicles of a relationship that spans so many years, and so much shared history, and so much grief. It’s the sort of thing that lifts you up and makes you laugh and then you smile and then you cry and then you want to lie on the floor and stare at the ceiling for a few hours contemplating what a miserable empty husk you are which, as we all know, is exactly what I look for in my reading material/exactly what I want to write. Read Pair after you finish I See a Darkness, and maybe make sure you’ve got some ice cream or alcohol on hand. You will need it, trust me.
I’m also really into holyfant’s HP femslash! Her writing has an almost singsong quality to it that I love and doubt I’ll ever be able to achieve, everything about it is just so vivid and alive, almost like a mosaic–it’s such a beauty to read; her Tonks/Ginny is my favorite. And I can’t say anything about it that hasn’t already been said, but it’s undoubtedly influenced me and I love it to bits: The Shoebox Project, which is a 200k+ gem that makes me laugh and cry and plucks my heartstrings like a badly-tuned harp.
OKAY, in terms of other fandoms: todisturbtheuniverse’s female Hawke/Isabela (I’m especially fond of A Slash of Blue and A Slash of Red) are SPECTACULAR, full of rich, complex relationships and people in a way that I can only aspire to—they’re absolutely brimming with life, and all the joys and pains and loves that come with it.
Stonestrewn writes some of the most lyrical, evocative fic I’ve ever come across and it absolutely makes me ACHE, like this is a level of stark perfection that I am never going to achieve. I especially love the way she weaves character interactions together with divine sweetness and a soft, quiet melancholy, sometimes simultaneously—she’s another writer who’s really great at sneaking up on you quietly, which, again, I keep trying to do. Know Your Own is original femslash and one of my favorite things in this world, and Writing love all over (Cassandra/Josephine) is honestly overwhelming.
Things-not-fanfic : I’ve read what is probably a ridiculous amount of Faulkner and Woolf and Anaïs Nin, which, if I had to guess, have likely had the most influence on me over the years. The Waves and Mrs. Dalloway are my Virginia Woolf-faves, and I’ve read The Sound and the Fury so many times my copy is falling apart at the binding, though as I get older I like Light in August allllmost as much. I’ve always thought Nin was a better diarist than she was a fiction writer, but I love her poetry and some of her short stories (Under a Glass Bell contains her best imo); navigating her diaries is kind of daunting because there’s so much material, but I’d recommend Henry and June to anyone. So much breathless melodrama! Most Honorable Mentions to White Teeth and Good Morning, Midnight and The Book of Lost Things.
Coming up with my favorite is hard because I read boatloads of poetry, but if you forced me to pin down the one I love the most—like, dangled me off a cliff or something—I’d say Yeats because I FUCKING LOVE YEATS, I have a tiny book of his poems I keep on my nightstand for when I can’t sleep and I’ve read them so, so many times, nobody makes my breath ~stutter~ like Yeats does, or has had the sort of effect on me that his poetry has, probably. I never, ever get tired of reading it. Never ever.
This is by no means an exhaustive list of fic recs (haha, not EVEN) or lit recs or writing and people I admire, but when it comes to the things that have influenced me recently/I love to wallow in, it’s a pretty good approximation. And it’s also very very hideously long, for which I’m very sorry but I get REALLY EXCITED about the things I like! THANK YOU FOR THE ASK DEARHEART and again I’m really sorry for getting out of control with my word problem yet again, ilu
Favourite wolfstar rec lists?
of course! ♥
this is the rec list i made a while ago, and it’s a great one because, according to me, i have incredible taste. i really need to make another one because there are so many more amazing things i’ve read recently and want to rec!!! but i promise all of those are gorgeous gems and absolutely, 105% deserve all the love in the world heaped on them
here is a list someone sent me when i first got into the fandom a couple years ago! it’s a whole bunch of AUs, many of them canon-divergent; i definitely haven’t read all of them, but there are so many wonderful things i’ve found there, it’s like a buffet of beauty tbh
i really like this one too–there are a few dead links there, which happens with most older rec lists, but it’s pretty huge and i guarantee you’ll find something you love on it
another massive one from the annals of time. again, you’ll probably run into some dead links, but the majority should be working and ready for your eyeballs
here’s morgan @sapphicmodernity’s rec list, which contains a wealth of beautiful things (also her own writing is always so evocative and moving; watching stars collide in particular is a tremendous thing)
@wolfstarwarehouse did a huuuuge Christmas-themed rec list, and i love it because nothing makes me feel festive like the greatest gift of all: gay wizards at the holidays. in general, they’re a great blog for finding r/s recs, and they have a few other themed lists
ENJOY DUDE, i hope that helps!! there was a big post going around like, a year ago? that had a lot of amazing (and some more obscure) stuff on it that i’d love to link you to, but i can’t seem to find it even after some semi-diligent searching :( if i ever manage to find it i promise i’ll reblog it just 4 you. and me. also if anyone knows what post i’m talking about PLEASE hmu i’m desperate for some devastation
sorry uh. top 5 r/s fics lol
hello this is v late bc i wanted to answer on desktop instead of mobile! i havent read a lot of recent fic so these are all def published before 2021 probably, so if you're after fresh recs you're not getting any. ANYWAY. in no order other than as i remember them/find them in my ao3 history:
We’ve got heartbreaking canon-compliant angst. We’ve got brilliantly creative canon divergent works. We have pure smut. Plus some humor and happy endings. We’ve got it all here.
I’m sure I’ve forgotten to bookmark some favorites of mine (especially some of the shorter ones!), and I hope to grow this list. I’ve divided it into Canon, Canon Divergent (eg still in the wizarding world), and AU and then by length.
Wolfstar is OTP since 2003, and it’s an honor to still be able to create and take part in this fandom nearly 20 years later <3 I survived on rec lists in the pre-Ao3 days, and I’m so glad to be able to create them now.
Short (<10k)
October 30, 1981 by Penknife (943 words, M)
It’s the last good day
Get your heart broken in less than 1,000 words.
Calibration by TheDivineComedian (4k, T)
Remus’s mind is usually a tidy place. The worst has already happened, what’s left to be scared of? His fears are labelled, annotated, and most of all, archived. For one evening, though, he’ll have to let them come out and play. (Remus prepares the Boggart for his lesson with the third years. Featuring Severus Snape as an unwanted critic, and Sirius Black as the elephant in the room.)
Not technically wolfstar but a brilliant Remus case study in a small canon moment.
Medium (10-100k)
poppies in october by @tahtahfornow (19k, M)
A little half-moon indentation on a patch of green south of Llandeilo, another amongst the densely marked webs of North London. Remus Lupin, Sirius Black. He wouldn’t need magic to follow their footsteps: back and forth, circling, circling around each other. Opposite points of a gravitational orbit.
And now here he is again, pulled in like the tide, back to where he started, back to where he left.
I finally listened to @leftsidedown (who is entering the ranks of god-tier fandom reccers) and read it and oh! It’s got that old school fandom literary angst vibe which I love. There’s something indulgent and rich in the writing (the stylistic choices, the literary references), which feels so appropriate for indulging in angst in this ship in this fandom at this time (after all these years?). But paired with Remus’s especially tendency towards understatement, it never feels like too much. Maybe the singularly most underrated wolfstar ship manifesto fic.
Le Tourbillon by krystal_moon (E, 30k)
Who doesn’t want to be loved by everyone?
Warnings: voyeurism, fingering, drug use, boys being assholes, femdom, poetry, angst, unrealistic portrayals of achieving orgasm, extensive foreshadowing, exhibitionism, excessive length, wall sex, (constant) alcohol use, incest, occasional breach of the fourth wall, over-indulgent discussion of a car, fluff, the French.
It’s a pre-Ao3 fic which is hosted on some random site with no author listed, and it was my favorite at 14 years old and remains a favorite. Nothing else quite captures that feeling of the summer after senior year of high school… right when you’re all about to go to war. Fun and smutty with a dark sense of foreboding.
Long (100k+)
Death, and Other Origin Stories by @houseofhebrideanblacks, @thestralsofspinnersend (WIP) (250k+, E)
To make a Grim, you bury a live dog in a churchyard before any person is laid to rest there.
I have to rec this fic at least twice a year. It’s the growing up together fic of my dreams – humor and darkness and politics and deep, complex, human characters. Don’t you dare let the WIP status scare you off and delay your enjoyment of this divine fic.
Medium (10-100k)
One to Speak, Another to Hear by @seventymilestobabylon (61k, T)
The Wizarding Wars are over, but the work of recovery has only begun. Remus Lupin is trying to find his place in an ever-changing world, and when he is invited to serve on a truth and reconciliation commission, he has to confront the truth that lives there—in the past and within himself.
Top 5 all time favorite fics. I cried so intensely in a happy way. How do we continue on after shared trauma? We can read this fic and then do our best.
Buy the Stars by wilteddaisy (taotu) (23k, E)
Sirius Black, respectable pureblood patriarch and heir to the Black family fortune, has a wife and three children at Hogwarts. Defence Against the Dark Arts professor Remus Lupin wrestles with the aging wolf inside of him. When Black offers him a hand, Remus reluctantly takes it.
Slytherin Sirius Black! Dubious Morality! Toxic adult wolfstar! Fucking your daughter’s professor!
Let Slip the Dogs of War by itallstartedwithdefenestration (54k, E)
Remus can’t seem to escape certain parts of his life. The worst is being a werewolf. The second worst is Sirius Black.
More Slytherin Sirius! The most toxic of toxic wolfstar! There’s love there in the darkness.
under the blood moon by @iamsiriuslyriddikulus (WIP) (29k+, E)
A Wizarding War has been raging for several years with no end in sight. When Lily learns how to infuse Dark Magic into her music, Remus and Lily work together to take justice into their own hands.
Murder family bluegrass AU! The concept is just brilliant. I recently recced this fic, and I will repeat my earlier point that Sirius is simply too hot in this fic.
Long (100k+)
brilliant difficulty by basketofnovas @slashmarks (580k, M)
A canon divergence AU starting the summer before fourth year where Peter Pettigrew is arrested and sent to Azkaban and Sirius cleared at the end of Prisoner of Azkaban.
Not very shippy so if you’re looking for a wolfstar romance, this is not the fic, but the world building is so brilliant it set my brain on fire. No one does wizarding politics like slashmarks.
A Brother Is Born For Adversity by tb_ll57 (WIP) (190k+, E)
A series following Remus Lupin over four phases and relationships: spying on Fenrir Greyback and the werewolves in the first war against Voldemort’s forces; a chance reunion with Severus Snape in Paris five years after the war, where all is not as it seems; learning how to like each other again with Sirius after teaching Harry’s third year at Hogwarts; and back again to werewolves, this time with Bill Weasley hostage to Voldemort’s agenda. Features the origins of the Order of the Phoenix, hitting rock bottom repeatedly and still trudging into work the next day, ambigious mentoring from Albus Dumbledore, and learning to live with the monster inside.
Again, not a very wolfstar shippy fic, but the Remus character study! I’ve never seen the first war portrayed quite like this – dark and immersive and realistic and Remus has to learn how to keep living.
The Fragile House of Black by @fantismal, Jormandugr (550k, E)
Following the lives of Sirius and (to a lesser extent) Regulus Black as they navigate their family, Hogwarts, and the first wizarding war.
Everything follows the story as you know it… until Kreacher decides the young Master Regulus is not going to die tomorrow.
Plotty plot! You’re going to want to murder Peter by the end. One of the best villain Peters I’ve ever read. And the older Black characters get to be full people!
Short (<10k)
Recto Verso by zambla (8k, M)
Love in the time of the 1984-5 coal miners’ strike. Remus is a geologist working for an independent assessment of a disputed coal mine in his hometown in south Yorkshire during the strike. He meets a communist agitator.
Remus’s mournful and vaguely intellectualizing perspective is so perfect, and each paragraph is richly layered.
Medium (10k-100k)
White Sheets, in the Closet (or: the earth from a great distance is perfect and whole) by tahtahfornow (12k, M)
The preacher’s boy is pale and strange. Silver scar running horizontal across the crooked bridge of his nose like a tributary catching winter sunlight. Dusty freckles collecting in the corners of his cheeks. And thick fair hair that on Sundays shines with pomade, slicked behind two apricot-slice ears: sweet flesh and flesh, always at attention.
(South Georgia, 1961-1962. Hurried kisses in hostile climates.)
Atmospheric. You can just feel the Georgia humidity and energy as you read it.
57th Street On Fire by @shipsnsails (31k, M)
It’s the 90’s and springtime in New York. Remus is dealing cocaine, Sirius is looking to get high.
He felt a twinge of paranoia. He thought, This is a junkie. One way or another. You don’t take walks with people you sell cocaine to. And he might be rich. Do not say yes.
He’d never seen grey eyes quite like that before.
I’m half in love with Sirius at all times, and I fell in love with him right along Remus. The prose is gorgeously clean and modern and feels so perfect for 90’s NYC.
The Prince’s Pet by BasPer (WIP) (37k+, E)
After waking up the morning after the full moon in the dungeons of the royal palace, Remus Lupin expects to be executed for the crime of being an unregistered werewolf. Instead, he finds himself being taken as a pet for the unstable Prince Sirius Black, who’s taken an interest to owning a dark creature. While trying to play the role he’s been put in to survive until he can escape, he finds himself feeling less like a prisoner set on freedom and more like a loyal pet who wants to serve his master. Will he fight to break these chains, or give into the life his master is offering?
The tags say: “Porn With The Tiniest Morsel Of Plot,” and it’s not a lie. It’s smut. It’s good smut.
Long (100k+)
Did You Miss Me? by @fantismal, @krethes (640k, E)
Though the new boy at Hogwarts University, James Potter, appears to be an adorable himbo with deep pockets, Remus Lupin and his friends instead find a horrifically dark past on Google. Did he really attack that boy and leave him for dead? Why won’t he talk about his mysterious childhood best friend, “Pups”? Would it kill him to stop messing with his hair?
At least Remus got his phone back after losing it, but now he can’t stop texting the mysterious number of the man who had sent it back. Padfoot is funny and charming, and Remus is NOT going to fall in love with him.
Delightful, intense, engrossing fun-as-hell texting AU. A genuinely excellent college texting AU!!!
Do you want to read something that makes you forget you’re reading? Something so lyrical it makes you catch your breath? Here you are then! This is my appreciation post for some bloody talented writers in the Wolfstar fandom!❤️🔥
NB: This is my personal list. And holy moly have I spent a lot of time making this list, but there’s no way I can fit all writers I love in one list. There are so many other incredible writers out there! Furthermore, this list does not intend to bring light to lesser-known writers. I know that this list contains quite a few pretty well-known writers within this fandom, but that’s how it is—please don’t come at me! This is simply a list of writers that I, personally, love. Capiche?
(@accioromulus) accioromulus is an old favourite of mine; I can’t even imagine me being in this fandom if it weren’t for them. Writer of my two favourite fics: Hard to find, and Impossible Things. Their writing is just so soft. So beautiful. So all-consuming. I want to live in their writing and never leave!
“Sirius?” Says Remus, quiet. His fingers curl ever-so-slightly into the hair at the back of Sirius’s neck, and Sirius shivers. “What are you doing?”
The pale sunlight is creeping across the kitchen, lazy and gentle, but every inch of Sirius is on fire. Remus’s lips are parted, his chest rising and falling, and Sirius thinks about Remus’s skin under his mouth.
“I don’t know,” Sirius admits, voice ragged. “I don’t know.”
(@montpahrnah) The god of the wolfstar fandom. This is probably no news for you, but of course they had to be included in this list! Their prose is like a literary orgasm. My favourite fic of theirs is Elucidation Practice, but everything they’ve written is beautiful. To give a taste:
They’re a natural disaster of hands and mouths and hips all the way to Sirius’s bedroom, clumsy pathfinders tearing ineffectually at clothes and shoving each other into walls, Remus’s fingers drumming up Sirius’s ribs like counting the bricks in Diagon Alley, 1-2-3, 3-2-1, taking altogether a very long time about getting anywhere
(@aeridi0nis), writer of fics such as in lieu of beaujolais, station to station, and for your pleasure—all of which are wonderful! Their writing is clever, witty, and beautiful. Ridi has a magical way of writing inner monologues that always has me laughing! They also have a way of making me cry…
“But the answer is this: the answer is that Remus still (still – that precious little word) keeps his toothbrush with Sirius’. His mugs are still in their sink, half-drained and bitter and material, and all of it is still theirs: this place, this mess. Remus is still here. Still, still, still.“
MizDiz made me believe in magic, in Everything’s Connected—more than the Harry Potter books ever did. (I’m actually not even really kidding. I finished it reeaallly late one night, and pretty much convinced myself that magic exists, that everything’s connected). Their writing is just that: magical.
“ All of it,” he says, turning his gaze out across the grounds. “Everything in the world—in the Universe—it’s all energy. We’re nothing but energy, and sometimes I can…feel it? I can feel it, almost like a vibration thrumming through my body, and in those moments I can’t see borders anymore. I no longer see objects, I just see pure vitality. And it’s when everything is as one that I can do anything I want.”
(@newsom) Another classic writer, having written the masterpieces Light in August, and Born under Punches. Their writing is so incredibly soft, like a summer breeze, like a tender touch. Orestefasting is a gift to this fandom.
The truth is that he’s kept this love on the back burner of his heart for so many years that he’s grown accustomed to the smell and can sometimes almost ignore it completely. He likes to think he’s made peace with the fact that he’ll never know what it tastes like. Still there are times when the pot boils over and it’s like he can feel it physically, the bubbling in his chest, cooking his insides and threatening to surge up his esophagus and out his mouth, scalding everything within its reach
The softness. The sweet angst. And sometimes a touch of comedy. Brilliant! Brilliant! Brilliant! Writer of the wonderful: Our Blood, Still Young. Masterpiece!
‘Look’, says Sirius, ‘it isn’t as if- It’s not like this has never happened before, historically. Between, you know, mates. It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean anything. When I was thirteen I rubbed one off on my bedpost.’ Remus chokes. ‘It doesn’t mean I have feelings for the bedpost. It doesn’t mean I ever had feelings for the bedpost, plus, you know, splinters-’
‘OK, STOP’, yelps Remus. ‘Am I a bedpost in this scenario?’
( @moonynpadfootforever ), wholesome_gay has given so much to this fandom, in the most beautiful ways. My personal favourite of theirs is the beasts of wanting, but they have written other fics that are incredible as well. Their prose is quite simple, and it goes straight into your heart. Oh, I just love them.
He could see his own breath, and Sirius’s: ephemeral clouds that dissipated before having the chance to touch.
Sirius tucked the cigarette away in his jacket and tapped his fingers on the leg of his jeans.
“You know I’d do anything for you, right, Moony?”
(@smodernlife), Oh, my beloved Sreka. Master of AUs, characterisations, and just. everything. (such as: Au Pif).
And anyways, just because Sirius was engaging and gorgeous and funny and seemed genuinely interested in what Remus had to say, he was still getting married . Remus had a business to run and didn’t have time to do little favors for any pretty boy who batted his eyelashes at him.
He inhaled deeply, looked into Sirus’s beautiful, earnest, gray eyes and answered.
“Yeah, absolutely.”
(@wanderingbandurria) V always manages to amaze me, especially with their incredible AUs. Nobody does AUs quite like them - it really is like stepping in to another world! (e.g. The Delegate)
He knew that nothing he could say would convince Remo, so he just kissed him firmly, and let Remo cradle his face between his hands, firmly, and undo him completely.
It already tasted like his heart breaking, and yet - even though he wanted to cry, to scream, to beg - all he could do was hang onto Remo’s body and breathe close to his neck, wishing for something, anything, that told him how to keep Remo by his side.
(@eyra) I loooved the writing in Hollow Places, and I don’t think I’ve ever smiled as much as I did while reading Beneath a Big Blue Sky. And of course, who wouldn’t sell their soul for A Brief History of Dragons? So naturally Eyra needs to be on this list. Their writing is spectacular! Whenever I read their fics I instantly want to move to Yorkshire. Right. Now.
“Your its mum now, Sirius,“ Remus says quietly, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a soft smile. "Don’t let it down.”
And for some reason, at that, Sirius feels his throat grow a little tight. The lamb squirms a little in his arms, apparently trying to clamber higher on Sirius’s chest to then - and drawing a chuckle from Remus - nose noisily at his hair hanging loose around his shoulders. Sirius smiles, shrugging his shoulder as the lamb’s nose tickles at the side of his neck, still sniffing away and taking fine strands of hair between its gummy little lips.
(@xylodemon) Writer of many wonderful wolfstar fics! I mean, just the sheer number of fics they’ve written for this fandom - it’s unbelievable! And you can always count on quality writing—and be prepared to laugh! It takes some skill to write something so funny! From Truthful:
It wasn’t that Remus didn’t trust James, it was just that Remus didn’t trust James at all. His furry little problem was safe, but the way James’ mind worked, everything else would be fair game. Including his inconvenient and growing-worse-by-the-day crush on Sirius. How James had ferreted it out, Remus would never know, but he supposed James wouldn’t be bloody James if he hadn’t.
( @dykesiriusblack ) Laura is a lyrical mastermind. Every damn time they have me completely mind blown with their writing. I’m sorry I don’t know enough about literature to explain exactly what it is, but it’s definitely something; their prose is like a psychedelic drug, a fever dream—in the best way possible!
Eg. Illicit affairs
Remus was breaking apart at the seams, spilling bloody on the floor everything that Sirius wove himself into – in the lines of his palm, his stomach acid, his marrow, the infinitesimal space between joints. He was everywhere; he was in him. Remus could peel back his skin, dig into the muscle, the gristle of himself, to excavate Sirius like a tiny, piercing glass shard, but he would never get close.
(@quoththethestral) I don’t understand how lunchbucket does it, there’s just something about their writing that’s so incredible. It’s soft, but also with some kind of edge to it? Also, their fics are always so clever, and often feel kind of grown up in some way. (e.g. Petty (With a Prior), and the BEAUTIFUL Liebestraum)
Remus, in the throes of it, wondered why a word had never been created for the particular feeling — he was so out of his element, lost in some sort of space where he was surrounded by nothing but Sirius, and Sirius’ hands, and Sirius’ voice — terrified but satisfied indescribably, freed but held, these contrasting feelings fighting against each other all at the same time to create a sense of freefall unlike anything he had ever felt before.
(@aryastark-valarmorghulis), An exceptional writer. There’s no questioning that. I’m so so weak for: when we finally kiss goodnight.
Remus blinks, his ears ringing like a spell missed him by a whisker, his heart leaping somewhere between his chest and throat. “Or something,” he repeats, his stunned mind still not grasping the enormity of what Sirius just said but there’s no possibility to read anything different into his words. The clumsiest, truest, sweetest confession just fell into his hands and it’s so precious, Remus is afraid that translating the dizzy love into words could break it.
(@wolfstarting) Yet another classic wolfstar writer! Always a safe choice if you want some quality writing! My favourites of theirs: Lock it down, and Just what the doctor ordered.
It feels mature. It feels right. It feels fucking wretched. It’s the first time he’s ever been aware of the feelings of another mattering to him at least as much, if not more than, his own.
( @blurryayse ). moonymoment really manages to swing from writing really good quality fluff and silliness (such as in lessen my load and Operation: Toebeans) to writing prose so poetic and lyrical it hurts (such as in ‘tis the damn season).
He’s a forest fire, a hurricane, an avalanche, he’s–
He’s all of these things, but primarily, he is Remus’s. For the night, he is Remus’s.
He’s Remus’s, wrists under his hands, skin in his mouth and between his teeth, every sound that falls out of his mouth like a trickle of sticky chardonnay following a sharp jawline, he’s all of these things. He’s a billion things. He’s a billion noises. He’s a sacrifice to be made.
( @drowsyanddazed ) It was earlier this year that I stumbled upon my dear drowsyanddazed—and from the very first word I was hooked. All her stories are so very very lovely; she’s such a pro at capturing the feeling of (not really) unrequited love: the pining, the jealousy, and the sheer stupidity of our favourite boys. If this is something you like, you should read all of her fics right now!! (e.g losing my mind, thinking about you, and this desperate in love)
The black kohl along his water line is smudged, black flecks of it dusting his cheekbone. His hair is still flying everywhere, whipping across his face. He’s a mess. He’s the blurred edges of a photograph. He’s a heartbeat and stinging lungs. He’s the rattling behind Remus’ ribcage. And Sirius grins at him, tongue between teeth —illecebrous and tantalising and all things beautiful and dangerous— and all the air rushes out of Remus’ lungs in one fell swoop. He’s lightheaded and dizzy and burning.
Here you have ‘em! Now go enjoy!
Just like Slughorn, Albus Dumbledore collects people. Only, instead of focusing on those with influence, he looks to the outcasts.
The expelled half-giant. The young werewolf. The repentant Death Eater.
He protects them and gives them a second chance. All he asks in return is their loyalty.
And, if on occasion he requests that they undertake a certain task, invoking their debt of gratitude - well, that is no more than he is owed.
He once thought to add a certain disowned Black to his collection, but quickly realised his mistake.
Sirius is not an outcast, but a rebel. He knowingly chose his path, and chooses what price he is willing to pay for it. He refuses to be used.
So Albus Dumbledore abandons him.
-ON BEAUTY AND WOMEN
credits:
in the dream house- carmen maria machado // unknown // anne carson // brand new city- mistki // @heavensghost on tumblr // macbeth act 1 scene 5- william shakespeare // white oleander- janet fitch // a woman’s beauty- susan sontag // pinterest
used that Artbreeder thing to make my own imagining of the gangsey :)
I think the only ones that are like kinda okay are Noah, Ronan, Adam, and Blue. I had a lil trouble trying with Gansey and Henry lol
a harry potter print done to sell at conventions this year
“Either a mother and daughter know each other very well or they are strangers.” ― Kyung-Sook Shin
1.Annie Ernaux | 2.mothers | 3.Ocean Vuong | 4.mothers | 5.Safia Elhillo | 6. mothers | 7.Ada Limón | 8.mothers | 9.Ocean Vuong | 10.Mitski | 11.mothers | 12.Lorde | 13.Hieu Minh Nguyen | 14.Ilenia Tesoro | 15.Ocean Vuong | 16.Hieu Minh Nguyen | 17.Ilenia Tesoro | 18.Kyung-Sook Shin | 19.Louise Glück
@keuhkopussirotta / fleabag / jamie anderson / holly warburton / richard siken / mitski / aracelis girmay by @heavensghost / philip pullman
glennon doyle melton / @eshraqh / joey comeau / rebecca makkai / anne carson / maria ines gul / @heavensghost / @dogmotifs / sylvia plath / ilenia tesoro / wandavision