my friend just told me that there's a secret second dashboard that solely contains posts from people you've turned on post notifications for, and when i click the link in the messages it opens it within the tumblr app, so the tumblr app also has a secret second dashboard for post notification blogs, and the only way to access it is to open the link for it within the app.

i literally love tumblr

i have a private pinned post that just has a link to this dashboard on it, it's great. two dashboards for life

wow! i was really hoping someone would organically reverse-engineer this and find that dash.

here are a few other "secret" dashboards:

these are all just taking existing feeds of content and putting them in a dashboard-like format... the "Stuff for you" tab/feed is the same idea.

one of the reasons why "what if people went on a road trip and it was weird" is one of the oldest story types is that a lot of sense of personhood has been, historically, tied to place. the weird road trip says "what if we went somewhere else, where no one knows us, and tried out being a different person".

Odysseus, the famous liar, goes on a weird road trip & over the course of it becomes several different people, and then comes home & is all those people as well as himself, wearing the echoes of those other people

What’s that quote? There are only two kinds of stories: a man goes on a journey, or a stranger comes to town.

The use of this particular meme implies that there will be a horrible price to pay. Then again maybe that’s just the existence on Tumblr

why is france called the hexagon when its abundantly clear that it’s a pentagon

what

mmm i guess i see it i was definitely seeing 1 and 2 as one side plus the left and right sides slope out more

yeah tbh i see how you can see 1 and 2 as one side

actually its a decagon

careful apollo might hear you

ok but if we r being really pedantic it’s a triacontakaipentagon (35 sides)

ur all wrong actually

Before the Amongus addition this post is literally just “Tumblr Discovers The Fractal Properties Of Coastlines”

“Barbenheimer” sounds like a mafia movie directed by Martin Scorcese actually.

Don't you just love it when actors are respectful and don't shit on somebody else's work and that makes them ten times cooler?

Sean Longmore

One of the main reasons why I’m firmly in Camp ‘Klavier Gavin is actually German’ is because that way he could theoretically perform at Eurovision

Twitter users will not survive the winter

idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it

Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything

As it is Passover again, it is time for the annual debate as to whether the frog plague, which thanks to a quirk in the Hebrew, is written as a plague of frog, singular, rather than the plural, plague of frogs, was in fact, as generally imagined, a plague of many frogs, or instead a singular giant Kaiju frog. This is an ancient and venerable argument that actually goes back to the Talmud because this is what the Jewish people are. If we can't argue for fun about this sort of thing, what are we even doing.

In that spirit, I would like to submit a third possibility, which is that in fact it was one perfectly normal sized frog, who was absolutely acing Untitled Frog Game: Ancient Egypt Edition. One particularly obnoxious frog, who through sheer hard work, managed to plague all of Egypt.

fob's we didn't start the fire cover is, like, fine i guess if you've been desperately craving for anything set after billy joel's version, but the fact that it chronically places the usa and uk as the only countries being "newsworthy" and barely acknowledges the existence of news in asia, south america, africa and eastern europe means that it doesn't hold a candle to the original.

that, and it's not even in chronological order. like come the fuck on.

if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

all part of the plan

Los Angeles uses its influence in media to make people into thinking it’s a city where everyone is a fit and attractive upper middle class person that’s super hot while New York uses its influence on media to make sure everyone hates New Jersey as much as they do

this is so funny.

the nonbinary icon i did not know i needed