no one told me my pasta habit would give me d cups
Sluts
You call?
Kill.
As you wish
I need people to understand…that if you believe in paying people a livable hourly wage…most hand-knitted clothing should cost hundreds of dollars
“My grandma could make that!” YOUR GRANDMA LOVES YOU ENOUGH TO SPEND A MONTH MAKING YOU A SWEATER FOR CHRISTMAS, I HAVE NO SUCH AFFECTION
rosencrantz is dead guildenstern is dead and me i feel also not so good
getting used to & comfortable with your own bare chest as a neutral & not inherently gendered thing over the course of an evening alone and then having to go out in public again the next day & feel weird about it again like prometheus and his liver except every day you're forced to regrow an awareness of society gendering anatomy
Thanks for hanging out with me! Was I cool? did you like me? What do you think of me in detail? Do you hate me?
Mad that she cant afford botox really innit
you will never escape the labyrinth
ohhhh my god you think beer tastes like piss? should we tell everyone? should we throw a party? should we invite black cherry white claw
i think tumblr urls in the old superwholock fandom style are like those old household appliances that got discontinued because they had asbestos or uranium or whatever in them - maybe you have a beloved cousin or old high school friend who still has a dean-and-loki-in-the-tardis and sure it's not great but what are you gonna do, make them get rid of it? come on, that's katie's url, she's had it forever, it's fine. but if you find someone that has a brand new castieldrinkingteawithsherlock then something dark is afoot. they have regulations against making any more of those. you should be able to cut tumblr users open and count their rings like trees. i bet some of you got horny reading that last sentence
to have the decadence this finch is experiencing with millet seeds...
fool you are in the food
peets in the eats
after my fall out boy concert i told my mom that they played my second favorite fall out boy song of all time (headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet) and she asked what the song was called (it’s called headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet) so i immediately answered “headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet” and she turned to me and said “there’s no way that’s the name of the song” which gave me the incredible privilege of saying “alexa play ‘headfirst slide into cooperstown on a bad bet’ by fall out boy” to which the alexa responded “NOW PLAYING ‘HEADFIRST SLIDE INTO COOPERSTOWN ON A BAD BET’ BY FALL OUT BOY” and my mother promptly walked out of the room
joined the ranks of oppa homeless style and homestuck cop for playing a song for my mother, more at 11
my brother is supposed to be packing for a trip tomorrow. i went into his room and he has the wikipedia page for suitcase open
at least there’s fucking friends. at least there’s people who love you in this godforsaken world
everyones got that homie who, within the depths of the dungeon, found a cruel facsimile of that which he desired most, and was corrupted absolutely