In a world of dirty food courts, I'm one of the rare FEW who returns my tray to the slot above the trash and cleans up all my trash. SHARE THIS POST if you're attracted to women

Chainsawgelion

when i'm typing officially i love to capitalize nouns. i capitalize nouns like nobody's business

Oh boy do I have a language for you

A friend once said to me "I feel like I'm not actually working at my job because there's so little to do" and I was like "the way I see it, if you can't sleep and you can't jerk off, you're at work no matter what".

And I just realized this gives me a new perspective on homelessness. There's a certain baseline amount of labor you're expected to do in public, finding places to exist unobtrusively, moving when the cops tell you to. No one is ever truly "off the clock" until they're in their own home, if they have one.

I'm sure Michel Foucault or somebody wrote about this long before I did.

Or to put it another way, if home is the "first place" and work is the "second place" then the removal of third places from society means that if you don't have a first place everywhere defaults to being a second place

If existing in public is a job then police are the managers, and calling the cops on someone for sleeping in public is, in effect, snitching on a fellow worker. I guess this functions as an explanation for why police unions "don't count".

why would you ever idolize cops when firefighters exist

yeah seriously have you ever heard of “corrupt firefighter” 

what would a ‘corrupt firefighter’ even be. he put out that fire with a little TOO much water. he was a little rough with the cat he rescued from a tree for a little old lady

how on earth do you possibly fuck up that bad

Every time i see this post going around, i have to bring it up again: there are absolutely corrupt firefighters. There are tons of firefighters who are racist and act neglectfully in protecting the lives and property of people of color in their community. There are homophobic firefighters who won’t lift a finger to help LGBT victims of fire. And as my mother directly experienced as a victim, there are firefighters who are only concerned with where their money comes from, and will let the homes of poor people burn down and then go through the remains busting up things that survived the blaze.

It’s not anywhere near as bad on an institutional level as policing, but there are corrupt professional firefighters, and corrupt volunteer firefighters. 

And they’re probably in your community.

additionally, so many firefighters commit arson that there is a Wikipedia article about it. according to that article, about 100 firefighters per year are convicted of arson in the US alone. that’s convictions, not how many times it happens.

there’s a really good documentary about an activist who has been working for years to get Narcan kits into the hands of EMS workers including firefighters, i think it’s just called Heroine and it came out a few years ago. anyway theres a very good scene where she goes to the local firehouse to talk to the firefighters there about how to use Narcan to save the lives of people who are overdosing on opioids. Narcan is extremely cheap, non-invasive, and involves less bother and effort by the person who adminstrates it that chest compressions or any other rescue action. Several of the firefighters look her right in the eye and deadpan inquire if they “have to” use Narcan on overdosing patients, legally, or if they can just let the overdose proceed (to inevitable cardiac arrest and death). so that was when i gave up on firefighters.

this is a link to the documentary, its only 40 minutes so you should watch it all. the scene i mention is at 14:30

Oh this is why every gardening person I know keeps trying to give me the food they grow

That, and we love you. Homegrown produce is a love language.

Unless it's zucchini. Then it's a cry for help.

Tomato (June) - I think highly of you; treasured friend

Tomato (September) - you are a warm body that is nearby

Fresh new asparagus - romantic love

Artichoke - fondness

New rhubarb with leaves removed - flirtatious potential

Rhubarb with leaves left on - the bloom is gone

Swiss chard - I have made mistakes

Perpetual spinach - declaration of animosity between our houses

White-fleshed potato - you are a neighbor

Blue or red fleshed potato - as above, but with overtones of camaraderie/affection

Kale - you are a person who was nearby when I had kale

Raspberries - you are a person I admire

Strawberries - you are a treasure

Onion - I am confused

Young French beans or young peas - I thought of you especially

Runner beans - mild criticism; familial ties; gift from parent to child

Pumpkins - overt romantic, sexual or childhood-bestie interest; highest declaration of loyalty

Prettily coloured popping corn, I.e. glass gem - let this seal the breach between our houses

Zucchini/courgette - cry for help, resignation

Novelty pumpkins - marriage proposal

thinking about how peoples blorbos tend to be men on here (makes sense with the trends in fandom of men being prioritised etc etc) SO please reblog and tag your female blorbo(s). this is NOT the post to be like “[male character] becuz he’s a woman to me” i Will come to your house and bite you. anyway i’ll go first mine are susie and julie from dbd and carly jones from house of wax 🖤

someone in my tags just called shadow the hedgehog "2008 edgy" and idk how to tell you this but he's 2001 edgy and perhaps helped create 2008 edgy along with mcr and roxas

There was a young man from Peru

Whose limericks stopped at line two

There once was a man from Verdun

There once was a man from the sticks Whose limericks stopped at line six. They were fine till line five Then they took quite a dive — But the problem is easy to fix If you just ignore the last line, it doesn't even follow the rhyme scheme oh god I've really lost control of this thing I'm so sorry...

There once was a man

From Cork who got limericks

And haiku confused.

There once was a man from the sticks

Who liked to compose limericks

But he failed at the sport

Because he wrote them too short

these new bots are NOT OK. Them having actual tumblr names is giving me psychic damage. I feel like curling up in a corner and crying.

yesterday "remainingforefinger" followed me and the fact that this ISN'T a nonbinary autist from Poland who works as a dentist's assistant, but A BOT, makes me want to SCREAM.

Pour one out for this choice bot url

If you live in an imperialist state and are considering international political matters, or if you live in an oppressive colonialist police state and are considering domestic matters, one of the most dangerous impulses you can have is “well we have to do something!” In almost every single case, with vanishingly few exceptions, a problem will not be improved by intervention, from, say, the United States government.

Whether it’s the war in Ukraine or gun violence or any other incredibly complicated issue, if you’re thinking about political solutions then your first thought needs to be “will a white supremacist dictatorship of capital that only ever pursues its own interest improve this situation by acting on it, or will it only leverage the crisis to further its own control and goals?”

Got a job as head of Omelas PR and tourism board. Omelas: When you're here, you're Homelas. Focus grouped it and they thought I was saying theyre homeless so the formula might need fine tuning. But lots of things about this city need fine tuning. For example, why does only one kid have to suffer? That hardly seems fair. Ten is a much nicer, rounder number

wait ok mutuals what do you guys call your parents???????

anddd…. SCENE! thank you to everyone who participated

I have dodged and parried every javelin thrown at me thus far…just one more and I can marry the chieftain’s daughter! 

Yuntkujeru the Lightning-Armed:

I think this is the funniest onion headline bar none