THE MUMMY (1999) dir. Stephen Sommers
ship dynamic that im weak for: middle-aged people who are Weird About Each Other
My way of saying it is, 'that is a self-correcting problem' and then move on.
jesus christ varric
[ID: screenshot of companion dialogue.
- Sebastian: And your brother never married either, right? Wasn't he concerned about continuing the Tethras line?
- Varric: Your family's dead and you're still celibate, right? /END ID]
my main requirement in a partner is someone who's willing to "yes, and" me. if i say something completely insane i need them to just pick that up and run with it and commit to the bit until we wind up with a conversation that's funny to us but completely incoherent to everyone within earshot. actually now that i'm typing this out i've realised my ideal relationship might just be "shitty improv comedy duo"
Haha looks like that relationship didn’t work out… didn’t work out et al.
What if you loved me so much it literally undoomed me haha jk unless
What if I had so much faith in you it literally reshaped the narrative into a happy ending HAHA JK UNLESS
hits the bong and immediately becomes aware of the narrative
hits the bong again and looks directly at the camera knowingly
this is how eve got expelled from Eden
I like how bong can mean both penis and that big vertical disk that makes a lot of noise.
that's dong and gong. bong means neither of those things
This edible (fruit from the tree of knowledge) ain’t doing shit.
I’m naked.
be remembered, flatteringly, as a “she-wolf”, a “heartless temptress”, and a “daughter of villainy and disgrace”.
sensually massaging WD-40 into your robot gf’s joints
katelyndanger
WD-40 is a terrible lubricant actually, especially for high friction parts like limb joints. WD stands for Water Displacement and is good for treating wet rust and expelling moisture, but terrible for minimizing friction.
What you’d really want is SAE10-30 or if she’s older, an oil with a higher viscosity like a SAE20-40.
I liked this post and not ten later Tumblr brings me this
two very good fictional relationship dynamics:
1. i would find you and love you in every universe. our love is inevitable and transcends reality as we understand it
2. this is the only universe where the dominos fell exactly right so that we could fall in love. we have something unique and we have overcome so much to get here
comedies that turn into tragedies when the fucked up stuff played for jokes suddenly gets treated with the severity and realness that it would get in real life are genuinely my weakness and hit so much harder than tragedies that start off with the sad stuff.