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#1 clone rights supporter

@clonerightsagenda / clonerightsagenda.tumblr.com

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In the world of Kovaud, there is a deity which belongs to no pantheon. They are Krheavn (Kr-ee-ven), the deity of dungeons. Their origins are not known, but their effects on the world are fairly substantial. They are responsible for the sudden transformation of abandoned or neglected property into dungeons. The reason for which is also unknown.

Do parents warn their kids to clean under their bed, lest Krheavn turn it into a dungeon and make them fight creatures to get their socks back?

I would imagine so. You better keep your room clean unless you want it to become an extradimensional dungeon!

Not a take I expected, but totally correct.

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Anonymous asked:

Welcome to Iowa!!! 🌽

What do you know that I don't

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Recently on Unhelpful File Labels in the Archives:

On-Going Project. Folders were empty.

Well Written Articles, 1999. There were no articles in this folder. There were a lot of budget reports though.

Stuff. You are killing me smalls.

Section 569-055 Knowingly burning or exploding. This was just papers shoved between files, I have a lot of questions and zero answers.

Some previous “winners”

Miscellaneous Old Stuff. *long sigh*

Other Idiocy. Honestly, this one was fitting.

(R) Man Claws. I have so many questions. Like, SO many

Keep for historical reasons. Neat.

Unprocessed Internal Provenance. Or how I answer the question “so what brings you to therapy?”

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conservethis

All of these are just so *chef kiss* perfect but “Other idiocy” is the most perfect of them all

Very badly smells. And boy howdy let me tell you, they were not lying :)

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My tendency to haphazardly pick up bits and bobs of scripts and languages without ever attaining true fluency at least makes me an object of interest with my coworkers. They call me over whenever we have a Deaf student. My boss once asked me to translate a voicemail in Spanish on her phone. A colleague mentioned she carried around a paper in China saying she didn't eat meat and I went 'was it something like 我不喜欢吃肉?' to her bemusement. Pretty sure my most impressive moment this semester as far as they're concerned is when a student wrote Norse runes on the whiteboard and after a colleague said "I have no idea what that is" I translated them on my way to the breakroom without slowing down.

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If we're going to have tornado watches every other night this spring can at least some of my social engagements be cancelled

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sleepnoises

where is the haterly review of legends and lattes i need to bask in its light

i read legends and lattes today because some people at the crafting meetup i go to were reading and liking it and i didn't want to say "i haven't read it but i really liked a mean review of it!"

i am not going to say "i read it and really liked a mean review of it!" either. but now i could

(here is the mean review found by wonderful yarrow)

Here's the thing though: this review is extremely accurate but misses the main reason why Legends and Lattes is so damn boring. This book is a LitRPG. And this is not speculation on my part. Travis Baldree is primarily known for being the audiobook narrator of approximately a gazillion LitRPGs, and decided to try his hand at writing his own book, but a ~cozy~ one. (This also explains why the book suddenly became mega-popular - he already had a base of people who loved his work and wanted to support his new project).

"What the fuck is a LitRPG?" you are probably asking. It stands for Literary Role-Playing Game, and a very niche genre of speculative fiction that is almost entirely self-published web novels. (no shade to self-published web novels!) Basically, these are books where a game system of gaining experience, leveling up, skill trees, etc. is a core element of how the fantasy/sci-fi world functions. I don't mean that the characters necessarily live inside a literal video game, although some LitRPGs do involve the protagonists being isekai'd into one. It could just be a fantasy world where numbers are assigned to people's power levels and everybody is inherently aware of these numbers, and there is a quantifiable amount of mana/experience/whatever it takes to become more powerful and learn new magic spells or skills.

LitRPGs often overlap with another niche genre called progression fantasy, which are stories where the main plot arc is the protagonist gaining more power. Character development is often not really important in LitRPGs/progression fantasy. I'm not saying they can't be well-written, or that people don't care about the characters, but the primary reason people are reading them is because it's sick as hell when Lindon McProtagonist gains enough mana that his demon void hand can suck out other people's life energy and kill them to death. (I realize this sounds dismissive but this is actually from a series that I read and enjoyed and I gotta tell you, it was sick as hell).

Thank you for sticking with me this far, because now we come to the central question: what if a LitRPG, unfortunately saddled with extremely bland characters as they often are, was not about the protagonist accumulating enough sick-as-hell power and magic abilities in order to kick god's ass, but was about... running a coffee shop? What if, upon "leveling up," the protagonist did not unlock Aura Blast of 1,000 Demon Foxes, but unlocked.... scones? (yes, the CONSTANT repetition of the entire fucking text of the coffeeshop menu every time they add a new item is in fact a LitRPG genre staple. It's the level-up screen!) Well my friend, you have Legends and Lattes, a book with all of the flaws of the LitRPG genre and none of the things that make it cool, such as "magic powers" or "literally any conflict at all."

thank you for coming to my TED talk, please give Going Postal by Terry Pratchett a try if you would like to read a good and interesting version of "fantasy protagonist invents thing from modern world" or Unsouled by Will Wight if you are for some mystifying reason now interested in reading a real LitRPG.

catsizeddragon thank you for the gossip! i genuinely love knowing the genre context for the menu repeating every time. also this kind of reinforces my contrarian position the rat baker is the true protagonist. i will file this data next to my friend telling me i need to read better isekai

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prokopetz

The important thing is that Marcille did not learn to blaspheme against the natural order to save her girlfriend. She just happened to have studied the art of spitting in God's eye for wholly unrelated reasons, and when the opportunity by chance arose to employ that skill in service of girlfriend-saving, she was ready.

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Friendship ended with Leo 'sorry if you get exorcised before I can finish prepping for my court case' Quinn, Julia 'yeeted a dead guy out the window when her coworkers weren't looking' Wilde is my new best friend.

Wondering if Leo has considered the implications of arguing ghosts are entitled to legal rights under the law though. It takes them 5-10 years to manifest. If you remarry and then your spouse comes back, are you a bigamist? Do all inheritances have to be held in escrow for 10 years just to make sure no one's coming back for them? If a ghost kills someone can they be charged, and since they're usually bound to a place do you have to bring the courtroom to them. Introducing GHOST LAW a very different podcast concept

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I am getting the impression worldbuilding is not Tell No Tales' area of interest but ghosts can apparently spontaneously manifest plant matter and control animals and I feel like this has significant implications no one seems to care about.

If they didn't appear to be tied to physical locations they could relocate this agoraphobic lady who grows plants out of thin air to a hydroponics greenhouse and solve world hunger