spacefairy graveyard

he always carries floss

and always knows how to get home

he wears lizard skin boots

he knows all my favorite smiths songs

and puts his legs over mine when we lay in bed together

he shoots film

and he makes me feel like a girl again

makes my inner child run in circles

his mullet is my favorite feature of his

and while i barley know his last name

and his middle

i couldn’t tell you what trauma belongs to him

i know we’re similar in so many ways

i know we’ve kissed the same girls

and i know we’ve both done time

he gives me morning smooches

and lulls me into a goodnight

and when i get gas

it’s full service

and when i smile

he does too

i feel like i’m floating

or spinning

he’s so much cooler than me

he’s so much cooler than me

loving someone is never a waste. there are times in our lives when we chose to be devote to the greater good. loving has a sneaky way of digging up old bones we’re too scared to talk about. things we’ve stressed all of our lives to hide hoping these things wouldn’t linger in the thoughts of our lovers and paralyze them with the fear of loving us. we have discounted ourselves far too many times with the capacity of love we think we can hold. the truth is, loving someone is worth it over and over no matter how many times it goes up in flames. and no matter how many times we have lost a lover. no matter how many times we have walked away feeling dammed and left in tears. regretful. lost. angry. reflective. it’s all pivotal to the human condition and very conducive to how we grow and learn as emotional beings. we will always cherish minute memories shared between lovers and friends and also recount lessons we have learned which will only make us stronger. jumping on every opportunity we have to find love and always figuring out how to make it work. it’s an art. and it’s beautiful.

when i climb the hill,

when my breath knocks me out,

and the air beats down on my shoulders,

when my calves begin to burn,

and my hair sticks to my cheeks,

i’ll know that,

tonight i won’t be lonely,

i am reassured that together,

we’re beyond gravity,

we’re beyond stars,

and for that,

i adore you.

you are the beauty of grace in the early morning, you hold me in your arms- paralyzed by your tempting peace. i have never known a greater home then yours, i have never danced beneath warmer stars, never felt a softer kiss then the one you have bestowed on me. i have long since danced with the angels you’ve sent to mesmerize me, hold me at bay, and spin my mind in circles. you run through my mind, aren’t you tired my dear? you always keep track of my little nuances - never for a second making them appear as such, never holding them against me. an uproar, a revolution could never keep me from you. i will wander through many lifetimes to find your soul shall it not be this one- but it is. you are my deepest comforting force, my greatest source of fulfillment, and my most wholesome vice. loving you is as gentle as my first breath, coming to me so easily i can hardly think before it’s over. please let it never be over.

did he hurt you as he did me

stuck in the sticky summers breeze

you were never worth the fight

or the the loss

of my consciousness

should i conceal and carry

i’d come for you

fly a bullet right through your shins

making you pick up the pieces from the ground

while you’re down

can you tell me how it feels

to know the girl you’ve lost

has never seen you as real

memories consume the darkness of each blink

never dictating what i think

chase her away as you did me

find yourself a lesser man then he

know you’ll never amount

to the sheer joy that they put on my face

pease go now

you’ve been replaced.

the bite isn’t as harsh as the bark

the aching of my heart only pauses when i have a moment of you all to myself. i stop to look at your eyes - the way your hooded brow makes them look oh so fanciful. i stop and can hardly catch my breath looking at you. you are so easy on the eyes . you come to me in a clouded dream every night. as i look at you, rapt, i can hardly believe you’re mine. i love the way you slide down sidewalks in the snow, and the way you get excited to see me after you’ve had a long day, i love your exhausted morning voice whispering good morning to me and i love the gentle grasp of your hand on my face when you kiss me. i often wonder how i stumbled upon a perfect stranger like you. always tearing into parts of me i didn’t know could open. always catching myself saying silly things about you in my head. i find the very presence of you to calm me so much. easing my mind as though there had never been such a moment of fear, or dull clatter. you are the most evanescently beautiful person i have ever laid my eyes on- i don’t plan on taking them off any time soon.

you want me to yell at you?

call it my,

love language

you want me to block you?

mock you?

you are nothing but a laughing stock,

you might need electroshock,

your illness appears as flagrant as the metal pole hanging through my chest,

the heartbreak you committed was an act of theft,

now you’re stunned,

trying to figure who was pointing the gun,

mixing together we intermingle,

no wonder why we both ended up single.

love and hate,

the line is blurred,

you try to talk to me and my speech is slurred,

i can’t hide the pain you took away,

longing for the day you stop trying to make me stay,

hide from me now as though you’re mourning,

i’ll never say i didn’t call the warning,

please give me space,

you’ve already been replaced.

you so easily calm my quirks down. you fill the silence with such sweet noise. a moment passes as my cheek flushes - i can feel you looking. noticing me. you are my most comforting place. you are a dark shower with the door cracked, you are the scent of hemp body wash, you are a morning glow, you are a wrist clinging to mine telling me to stop or just, slow down. you are my filter, you are my favorite cup of chai, you make me remember all the reasons why i love being in love. we have jokes that no one else will understand, or care to laugh at - so - we don’t care to explain, you are cozy socks, and my overflowing nightstand, you are an angel brought to earth by pure chance, you could insult me and i would say thank you. you are as warm as a midnight bath, as soft as cat ears. you call to me and i will always answer.

i am yours.

finally i am at peace by your side. we press our noses together and pretend what it would be like to share our last breath in a kiss. you are like magic to me. your hands are twice the size of mine, your whit is rather sharp and your intellect single handedly changed the orbit of my brain to solely follow your gravitational pull- it drags my knees to the grave. six below if you know what i’m sayin. your voice is the most ethereal sound i’ve ever heard. we are one - or maybe it just feels like it. when i’m around you the chaos of my brain dulls to a mere clatter of imaginary silence. you have forced me to completely concave all my internal walls. oh how i curse you and thank you for this. you pamper me in such a warm, safe place. how luxurious. Oh how i wish you were here- gazing at the same stars- wandering deep in space

with me.