Warehouse 13, Next Generation

why do i have to format emails like i’m writing a letter to my fucking husband on the frontlines of the long war. my dearest gregory. it has been too long since i’ve held in my embrace. o, that these travails shall lead us to one another again. my sincerest, fondest thoughts go with you in this, your hour of need. i have attached the requested documents in .pdf format. thanks!

Ig : baron.0723

cat friends

“me and my dog are the stupidest b*tches around”

I love this duo

“[Reggie, the adorable 12 year-old cat actor used for many of the Goose scenes] was actually a lot more directable than some actors we’ve worked with.” - Director Anna Boden

He was the first movie cat that acted remotely like a movie cat. It was an excellent depiction of a flerkin.

tell me something nice, hit me with those positive vibess

the earliest recorded named cat lived over 3000 years ago in egypt and was called ‘nedjem’ which means sweetie

the pet cat of prince thutmose was called ‘tai miuwette’ which means ‘little mewer’

in medieval england so many cats were given the name ‘gilbert’ that the word ‘gyb’ came to mean ‘pet cat’

Sandra Dee Lutheran

Lost in the sauce

My brother just sent me this on snapchat I can’t fucking stop laughing this is so stupid I hate him

mama

mama??

MAMA!!!1

hi

literally life with cats

Your cat has a little beauty mark that is so cute!

The image Wikipedia is using to illustrate static electricity right now.

Morticia is so touched

Japanese Sumo robots

this is the funniest gif i’ve seen all week what the fuck is going on

the best part is this isn’t even HALF the relentless bullshit insanity that goes on in robot sumo wrestling, a sport where the contestants are all hyperfast robots with scoop attachments and preprogrammed moves. 

(this one wants to be a beyblade when it grows up)

the idea is to include as many unique moves as you can, to make your shrieking deathbot difficult to counter

or dodging. that works too.

also, some of the speed demons have… unorthodox attachments to fool other bot’s sensors

WIIINGS MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR

robot sumo is also a sport where spectators may end up taking a small robot to the shins if they aren’t careful.

FLYYYYYYY

I hope you enjoyed our foray into madness!

IT GOT BETTER!!!

Y’all. Looking at professionally made sumo robots is great. You know what’s better though? Looking at extremely UNprofessionally made sumo robots.

Here enjoy.

oh my god please watch this video

“she gave up looking for the robot and sent us a photo of her having a beer. the crowd applauded this act of supreme crappiness.”

one robot is just a kleenex box with a bunch of dildos on it, one does nothing but shake a packet of instant soup, i love humanity so much right now

!!!

WATCH THE VIDEO it is the best thing i’ve ever seen i’m laughing so hard 

This is so pure

“Strategy only works when it is accompanied by the necessary technology. Crappiness trumps technology.”

rip santa.

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript: “So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more. So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects? And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is. So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening? So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”

Saturday morning purr sesh (make sure to turn on the sound)

blankie is best blankie ever

i could tell even before turning on the sound that cat is indescribably happy.