hoppípolla

i’m spending today thinking about how saber toothed cats ALSO probably had a potato form.  how they also had a stage where they were fat little babies with very triangle tails and tiny squeaky voices.  how they also probably play wrestled and failed badly at calculating jumps.

i’m going to fistfight god for killing them off before i could personally see fat potato saber kittens

Like this?

Boop the toe beans!

If you had shown me this site in 2005 I would have asked you if had checked your virus software lately, because this looks like a bad one. I would have clicked away so fast it would give you whiplash. Looking at these sites now, I have to convince myself that they aren’t virus laden sites and fight against the pavlovian urge to just navigate away.

I navigate away anyways because fuck them, there’s usually a better site (though they are dwindling quickly). I still can’t get over how the internet “as intended” today looks like a malware ridden fever dream from 20 years ago. This is every story I’ve ever read about an empire that used to be great and has now fallen into turmoil.

Beloveds, there is a wonderful website that gets rid of all that crap<3

OOOOH.

Left is MY FIC, right is the ACTUAL BOOK QUOTE IT WAS INSPIRED BY

(Mask context: masquerade ball / cinderella au)

It has been doing numbers EVERYWHERE and I only found out from this lovely person who commented on Ao3:

So yeah I guess if anyone wants to read an 8 year old Song of Achilles fanfic written in a fever dream after watching Into The Woods, be my guest

I shit you not, one of my friends got engaged and used this for their caption yesterday 😭😭😭

Should I tell her 🤭

NOOOOOO OH MY GOD LMAO

Striped Eel Catfish (by David Doubilet)

my shirt that says “not a danger to myself and others” getting me asked a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

some bitch is binding spirits on my post

happy pride month to this post specifically

why he lick me

Nick Offerman Answers the Web’s Most Searched Questions –WIRED, 2020

Sea slug PNGs

(source: seaslug.world)

@slugs-at-midnight

BUDDY you're a BOY you're a BIG BIG BOY you're a BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG BOY you got mud on your face you BIG BIG BOY kicking your can all over the place singing WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee WEE wee

@tincanaudio well look who's on my dashboard

Sir Ian Mckellen for S.S. Daley Fall 2023 Ready-To-Wear.

Today I introduced my sister to “the problem of Susan” and I had to explain to her that Susan was left out of Narnia cuz she liked boys and lipstick now and without missing a beat she said but what about Peter? Does Peter not like girls? And I knew she was pointing out the inherent misogyny at the center of the “the problem of Susan” but the implications of that question are a source of much hilarity to meeee LMFAO like Does Peter not like girls? Does he like boys? Is he Gay? Is Narnia really just a homo-utopia where Lucy is also a lesbian and Edmund is a bisexual disaster and Susan was kicked out cuz she was too straight??? Can I make CS Lewis turn over in his grave with this new reading?

…I mean they literally were in the closet…

THEY WERE LITERALLY IN THE CLOSET!!!

The thing is you read too much 19th century Brit Lit and that's literally just how you start to talk. Was speaking with a friend about another friend and I said "he's very agreeable, but he lacks discernment" like that was in any way a normal way to phrase that sentiment.

benoit blanc dress up simulator

I joke around a lot about how I would pay So Much Money for a Pokemon: Eevee Version where the entire selling point is finally giving us an eeveelution for all 18 types and also some dual-types.

And then I saw this:

And I am no longer joking.

With 171 potential combinations, it is entirely feasible to make a Pokemon game centered around Eevee.

Why? Because Eevee deserves it. And because we have had an egregious dearth of new Eeevee content since Sylveon dropped.

Here’s my pitch:

The region you live in is an island where Eevee basically became the endemic dominant organism. (If Gamefreak really wants to fuck around and find out, they could play around with real-life evolutionary theory concepts. They’ve used recent games to teach kids about stuff like environmentalism and conservation and energy/power production, so why not?)

The Pokemon Professor in the game will be a distant relative of, idk, Professor Rowan or Professor Sycamore, who decided that studying Pokemon evolution is too broad and decided to focus on what really matters: Eevee and Eevee-Associated Phenomena.

The player is tasked with filling out the Eeveedex.

The gym leaders still specialize in particular types, but they still only use Eeveelutions, of course. A fire-type leader can have Flareon as their signature ‘mon, sure, but for the rest of their team it’ll be dual fire types. Which might actually add to the difficulty level, especially if you get some weird type combos like fire/grass, because then you can’t just walk in and annihilate their entire team with a single not-overleveled water type unless it’s got some appropriate moves.

The Elite Four follows the same trend but with trickier type combos. The Champion has a six-Pokemon team full of the most seemingly contradictory type combos, like fire/water and normal/ghost. And lots of unexpected movesets, like the absolute badass that is Cynthia.

In the post-game Professor Oak will show up to give you the National Dex and you can have access to other ‘mons, as a treat, but until then? You get Eevee and its various -eons. It’s Eevee’s time to shine, which means Eevee and -eons only.

(I might make one (1) exception. There can be That One Fisherman with an entire team of Magikarp, if Gamefreak insists on carrying on that trope. Or he could just have a team of six Vaporeon that only know Splash. I’m willing to compromise.)

@inprogresspokemon​

My time has come! (mobile link)

An “Eevee Island” spin off would be fun. I’m a far way from all 171, but maybe someday! 

the thing about “meaningless gore” is that even when it’s apparently not intellectual enough for so many people, it forces the viewer to confront the fact that they are just meat, they are mortal, they can and will eventually die, and pain is part of the human experience that unfortunately none of us will escape experiencing at one point or another. life is both horrifyingly fragile and surprisingly resilient which makes existing in a body a fraught experience regardless of whether we want to acknowledge that or not. “to watch a horror movie is to know that something bad is going to happen. to have a body is really the same thing.” anyway that in and of itself is plenty to grapple with and if a film decides to only deal with that, i don’t think it’s less valuable than any other theme a film might address 

also the blood is fun <3