We're All Stories In The End

Between the Arkenstone, the One Ring, and that cache of magic swords Bilbo uncovered during Thorin and company’s confrontation with the trolls that just happened to be the former property of the High King of the Noldor, Bilbo and Gandalf’s relationship is just a constant process of Bilbo showing up with some random artifact of world-changing significance and Gandalf sagely stroking his beard and making a pithy remark while internally screaming “WHERE DO YOU KEEP FINDING THESE THINGS”.

Alternately, this is why Gandalf always brings/sends hobbits on adventures. Because if you take a hobbit out of their nice safe holding-pen in the Shire, it will take them approximately ten minutes to stumble across whatever item of world-shaking importance is currently knocking around the vicinity. You take a hobbit out and set them loose and they will find ancient weapons of a godly age, ancient beings that pre-date the world, the one treasure in the middle of a hoard of treasure that you actually need, the single most deadly magic item in the world in the middle of a river, the same magic item in the middle of a cave centuries later, the local magic rock with a direct link to the current villain’s mind (which, in this case, was not necessarily a blessing, Pippin) …

If you put a hobbit down, basically, and there is an item of plot importance within a fifty mile radius, they will put their hand down and pick it up. Guaranteed. (Again, as with Pippin and the Palantir, this is not necessarily a good thing, but at least you’ll know where shit is)

The other reason he always brings/sends hobbits on adventures is that they will also kickstart world-shaking actions if left unattended for more than five minutes. See also: Merry and Pippin toppling Isengard the minute they were left alone near people they could trick into war-slash-mischief. See also: Bilbo giving Bard and Thranduil the Arkenstone in an attempt to negotiate because the dwarves left him unsupervised and somebody needed to at least try and keep the peace. See also: Pippin suborning a Gondorian guard into outright treason in the place of the dead to save Faramir and the Gondorian Stewardship from Denethor’s madness. See also: Frodo, Sam and Gollum royally mucking up Sauron’s everything while entirely alone and unsupervised under his very nose.

Like, it’s a gamble. Taking hobbits out into the wider world and letting them loose unsupervised is not an action for the risk-adverse or the faint of heart. But if you want results in a relatively short time-frame, by the Valar it’s effective.

Take this dialect quiz! X

Some of y'all have way more fun with words than I do, clearly

*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

does it look like this

i was picturing this as after a successful writing jaunt but this is so much darker

“If our life is ever really as beautiful as a fairy-tale, we shall have to remember that all the beauty of a fairy-tale lies in this: that the prince has a wonder which just stops short of being fear.  If he is afraid of the giant, there is an end of him; but also if he is not astonished at the giant, there is an end of the fairy-tale.  The whole point depends upon his being at once humble enough to wonder, and haughty enough to defy.  So our attitude to the giant of the world must not merely be increasing delicacy or increasing contempt: it must be one particular proportion of the two—which is exactly right.  We must have in us enough reverence for all things outside us to make us tread fearfully on the grass.  We must also have enough disdain for all things outside us, to make us, on due occasion, spit at the stars.  Yet these two things (if we are to be good or happy) must be combined, not in any combination, but in one particular combination.  The perfect happiness of men on earth (if it ever comes) will not be a flat and solid thing, like the satisfaction of animals.  It will be an exact and perilous balance; like that of a desperate romance.  Man must have just enough faith in himself to have adventures, and just enough doubt of himself to enjoy them.”

–G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy, “The Eternal Revolution”     

my favorite fic trope 

sometimes i think about how sokka literally invented submarines and how aang is literally the avatar but when the both of them put their braincells together, they come up with ideas like writing a letter to katara from toph

Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.

At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?

Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!

respective friend groups undergoing culture clash like all of prince charming’s knights are like what vile spell has been used to ensorcel our prince.  we must be on our guard for surely this is but a ruse for an assassination attempt

meanwhile the villain bride’s friends are all like clearly he loves you not, why do you persist in a manner that will ensure your own heart break, i mean if he was taking this seriously there would be at least three assassination attempts by now.  it’s like he doesn’t even notice that you have massive amounts of dark power to covet for his own

smashcut to

fully armored knight, clanging through the hallways in attempts at stealth, blades drawn: i’m just saying, i took an oath of protection.  this feels wrong.

prince charming: it’s not wrong, it’s celebrating cross cultural traditions for my beloved bride

knight: it’s attempted murder

prince charming: it’s a loving attempted murder

@chucktaylorupset  Meanwhile the bride has a bouquet of roses, cornflowers, and wheat sheaves on her desk in her room, and she’s not coming out until she’s written a beautiful and moving poem about how they favourably compare to her groom. It’s been three days. She’s gone through an entire raven’s worth of quills (unethically sourced). The ‘toads who used to be my friends’ list has gone up by one. But she’s bent dark forces and eldritch spirits to her will and, by the powers obscene, this will not be the thing that breaks her.

Sorceress friend: Please, just get him an amulet that will double his power at the cost of his soul, no one’s worth this.

Rebellious villainess: (nearly in tears) No, he brought his best knights to the castle and tried to kill me last week, at midnight, I can’t ignore something like that! He even kicked Cathulhu!

Sorceress friend: He nudged it with his foot. And then he apologized to it. In tears.

Rebellious villainess: (actually in tears now, for reasons of feels instead of poetic torment) He’s trying so hard!!!

Reblog and put in the tags what you think is the most beautiful body part. Not necessarily in a sexy way, just like what body part is sculpted perfectly.

No, no it isn’t.

this gif is perfectly timed because it gives you enough time to read it, comprehend it, and still have this too-long-for-comfort moment of suspense before being punched square in the solar plexus

But that’s not something you would understand, is it? You don’t like endings. DOCTOR WHO — Hell Bent (S09E12) directed by Rachel Talalay | written by Steven Moffat ››› Peter Capaldi as The Doctor ››› Maisie Williams as Ashildr / Me

if this happens mcr has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever

Hey. Why isn’t the moon landing a national holiday in the US. Isn’t that fucked up? Does anyone else think that’s absurd?

It was a huge milestone of scientific and technological advancement. (Plus, at the time, politically significant). Humanity went to space! We set foot on a celestial body that was not earth for the first time in human history! That’s a big deal! I’ve never thought about it before but now that I have, it’s ridiculous to me that that’s not part of our everyday lives and the public consciousness anymore. Why don’t we have a public holiday and a family barbecue about it. Why have I never seen the original broadcast of the moon landing? It should be all over the news every year!

It’s July 20th. That’s the day of the moon landing. Next year is going to be the 54th anniversary. I’m ordering astronaut shaped cookie cutters on Etsy and I’m going to have a goddamn potluck. You’re all invited.

Hey. Hey. Tumblr. Ides of March ppl. We can do this

An adorable desert fox walking against the wind in Morocco. 

It fuckin deserdy

Reading Acts and the Epistles be like

the clip in the link took me from having kind of a standard, pretty-celebrity crush on Chris Pine to being like “holy shit, I think I would genuinely and in a non-horny fashion like this guy if I knew him in person.“ I mean, he takes a super fucking inappropriate question, gives it the complete lack of acknowledgement it deserves, and says something so intelligent and thoughtful instead of whatever weird answer he was expected to give that nobody even remembers what the original terrible question was by the time he’s done talking.

If Chris Pine ever stops being a class act, please nobody tell me, my heart can’t handle it.

Because of the above comment, I went and listened to the clip as well, and I think it’s worth sticking the transcription of the whole here, because it’s even more in-depth than what the gifs show– including the stall time Pine has and the absolute English-major vibes of pulling complete paragraphs out of one’s pocket when faced with awkward questions, culminating with the absolute finesse of “So anyway, yeah”:

I’m a huge lover of music and I found this was an amazing short explanation of how they designed Loki’s theme- making it this ethereal harp music that spoke to the internal part of his mind. It really hit me in the feels.

Oh, the real Loki and the real Loki's theme. And the composer who really cares about Loki.

Shadows of Loki 🎶 ❤️