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Teenage Angst

@cigsangstandkush

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naturaekos
“Everything tells me that I am about to make a wrong decision, but making mistakes is just part of life. What does the world want of me? Does it want me to take no risks, to go back to where I came from because I didn’t have the courage to say “yes” to life?”

— Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes (via naturaekos)

Source: naturaekos
my-infp-world

if suddenly you feel the urge to cry come upon you seemingly from nowhere, please, recognize that it is not from nowhere. it is from a somewhere where you forgot to mourn properly. a place only your body can remember. let these tears come. let your body mourn. let your body feel her loss. even if you cannot understand her (who can?) it is important to let your body have this. when the crying is over feed your body something special and be gentle with her. bless

my-infp-world
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my-infp-world

There are times that I visit a dark place in my mind. I disappear in an ocean colored black. It’s never planned and my length of stay can never be predicted. There are always warning signs of its approach. That emptiness. Those feelings. Or lack thereof. But those are signs I never notice until the aftermath. I don’t even notice that I’ve arrived in that place until I’ve buried myself in many blankets of darkness. That’s the point in which I begin to try to find my way, to find that blip of light to use as my guide. It’s not always that easy though. It doesn’t always show itself when I need it. My mind starts to fill with thoughts, traversing many subjects and aspects of myself, finding things that I’ve hidden away, never planning to look at again. I stay much longer than I intended, thinking about what I could have done differently, dragging myself deeper in, away from my escape. Wondering if someone could help me out of that place, but how could they when they don’t even realize that I’m there? How could they when I didn’t even realize where I was? It’s a place where I’ve always been on my own. I know that when I find that path outward, I’ll return peacefully. I’ll move on, I’ll know what happened and as usual, I’ll go on with my life. But the memories of that time always stay in the back of my mind. As a reminder, as a warning that it will come again but I’ll never know when. As I fall in deeper, I know what’s coming because it’s happened countless times before, but that doesn’t make it better. You can’t always prepare for the darkness of your own mind.