Au Revoir

employer: your drug test came back negative

me: perfect, when do I start?

employer: sorry, we don’t hire fuckin losers

fool me once, shame on u; fool me twice, shame on u again for taking advantage of my compassionate & forgiving nature!!!!!! how dare u

this “bon appetit” meme has turned into some sort of bizarre telephone game where each incarnation sounds more and more different than the original. in what way does “bon appetit” sound like “osteoporosis”

i don’t know but it’s cracking me up every time i even think about it

guys guys guys

‘osteoporosis’ is a disease in which bone mass decreases

so they mean fucking

“Bone Atrophy”

i love facebook i changed my mind

Abbi Glines, Because of Low (via thelovejournals)

Good for her

someone: *pays attention to me*

me: i love u with my whole entire heart

I’m done with tmblr

Huzhdhdhkzajbfkbtv

literally crying

my favorite thing about 101 dalmatians is that, when faced with the realization that there were now 101 dogs in their apartment, their reaction was “i guess we’re gonna need a bigger house” which is entirely illogical and exactly how i would respond in that situation