uh oh! you misunderstood a social cue and said something mildly awkward. you will think about this and cringe everyday for the next 20 years
i want to go on a cross country road trip and stay in shitty motels and eat at diners and get snacks at convenience stores and fall asleep watching shitty movies on the shitty motel cable tv :(
you left me no choice but to stay here forever… “right where you left me” - taylor swift / “automat” - edward hopper / “haze” - mxmtoon / “solitude” - baraa salah on instagram / fragment from a poem manuscript written by emily dickinson / “ophelia” - john everett millais / “practice makes perfect” - natalie wee
this video sends me every time. the lip syncing. the source material. iconic
juicedoesthings
I reblogged this one time and someone else who reblogged it from me tagged it with #violence
#violence
The greatest song ever written was conjured by an Italian for a scene in a Western filmed in Spain where a Polish man pretending to be a Mexican bandit does a gay little run through a graveyard for three and a half minutes uninterrupted
sharkbutch
You can’t just say that and not show us
I'd love to see it
where is that ‘they weren’t lying’ dog meme…
Map of the US by a truck driver who has seen most of it…
This is DEFINITELY someone I call an expert.
I’m desperate to know who Gary is. So I can also avoid him.
SUNDAY
SUNDAY
ŚU̢̨N̵N̕͜N
and saturday it’s the 9TH ANNUAL MOWER EXPO
BE THERRRREEERRRR AS THE BIGGEST NAMES IN MOWERS,HEDGER&CLIPPERSONHEDGER&CLIPPERSONHEDGER&CLIPPERSONSONDAY!
CUTTING TECHNOLOGY! aerfsverginereaersorodl
SEAKING! SEAKING! SEAKING!
OIL PAINTINGS!OIL PAINTINGS!SEAKING!
DONT MISS THE DALLAS MOWER EXPOXEPOYERSALAD
BE THEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEERRRREEEEEERRRRRRR….RRERRR….RREEEEEEEE
Humans are adorable.
Supporting evidence:
1. Humans say ‘ow’, even if they haven’t actually been hurt. It’s just a thing they say when they think they might have been hurt, but aren’t sure yet.
2. Humans collect shiny things and decorate their bodies and nests with them. The shinier the better, although each individual has a unique taste for style and colouring
3. Humans are not an aquatic or even amphibious species, but they flock to bodies of water simply to play in it. They can’t even hold their breath all that long; they just love to splash!
4. When night falls and the sky goes dark, humans become drowsy and begin to cocoon themselves in soft, fluffy bedding.
5. Some humans spend time in each other’s nests! Just for fun! It’s not their nest; they’re just visiting each other.
6. Some humans use pigments and dyes to make their bodies flashy and colourful! They even attach shiny dangly bits to their cartalidgous membranes!
7. Humans are very clever, and sometimes adopt creatures from other species into their family units. They don’t seem to notice the obvious differences, and often raise them alongside their own young!
8. If a human sees another creature in distress, they can commonly be observed trying to help! Even at their own risk, most humans are deeply compassionate creatures!
9. If a human hears a particularity catchy sound or tune, it will often mimic it, even to the point of annoying themselves!
10. Sneezes are entirely involuntary, and completely adorable. Especially when the human in question becomes frustrated
11. Humans love treats!!! Some more than others. Many humans will save these treats specifically for a later date when they are in need of comfort or reassurance. IE, pickles, pop tarts, Popsicles, etc
12. They’re learning to travel in space!!! They can’t get very far, but they’re trying!!! So far, they’ve made it to the end of their yard, and have found rocks
this sounds like it was written by a really enthusiastic alien humanologist
i love this because it makes me look at seemingly mundane things from a totally different perspective and appreciate humans so much more
acadmia
this is actually so precious ohmygod
I am screaming lmao also this reminds me of @rosewater1997
I really do love that people have legitimately always just been people. Like how many angry breakup texts have their been that end with “Come get your stuff or I’m donating it to goodwill”? People never change.
The concubine after reading this:
This is my new breakup format
Fuck him and his harem. I hope Nisaba made you #1 wife, baby
screaaaming me
rogue-cas-whore
“pick up your flax shawls and sandals or else I will donate them to the temple of the moon god” idk why but this bit in particular is SENDING me humans have literally always been the same
i don’t lose hyperfixations they just go dormant until I hear something about it like a sleeper agent
In the movie venom during the first human trials of the symbiote, the research team is happy that the patients “vitals are holding steady”. This is a reference to the production team not consulting a single medical professional to find out what good vital signs look like.
burn-away-the-flags–begin-again
Ah yes, a pulse of 136 And an oxygen saturation of 81%
The ideal levels
Yes nothing to be concerned about there
Perfectly normal
They said they were holding steady, not that they were holding healthy.
“Patient’s vitals are steady.” “Doctor… They’re dead.” “And maintaining that state quite well.”