Chubby_Titan

dude.

i knew a surgeon and he once told me “nobodys insides look like how the textbooks say they will. you never know what you’re going to find in there once you open them up” and that was easily the most ominous thing anyone’s ever said to me

when i was taking my first year anatomy lab, we’d occasionally find a cadaver where things would branch off or attach in the wrong order, and when we’d ask our prof about it, he’d just shrug and say “they must not have read the book”

I already queued this but I've been thinking about "they must not have read the book" all day today.

I JUST FOUND A LATE ANTIQUE VERSION OF ‘LIVE LOVE LAUGH’ AND I WISH I WERE KIDDING

‘health, life, joy, peace, good cheer, hope’.

mosaic, 4th century, Roman Anatolia. British Museum.

@todoeralindo oh no

God can you imagine if Donald Trump became president? There’d be like a new bubonic plague and he’d be like “idk drink bleach about it”

Throwback to when I took acid for the first time in 2013 and predicted the events of 2020 like the fucking oracle of Delphi

they edited it, this is the original post: 

[ID: How can dog breeders sell puppies for over $1,000? Do these puppies shit gold? Do these puppies fight crime? Can they play the banjo? No they’re fucking infant dogs that poop on your things and love you omg. /end ID]

link to a reblog of the original post, this reblog is from 2013

EDIT: OP blocked me for calling them out in this reblog, I can’t reblog or reply to this anymore and my reblog won’t show up in the notes, but if you reblog this from me then your reblog will show up in the notes. I thought maybe they were just trying to be funny and didn’t care if people knew they were lying but they’re like.. legitimately trying to convince people it’s true lol. Sketchy tumblr behavior, especially since they’re promoting their Kofi on their page meaning they are trying to get actual money for lying

[Two huge bouncers in suits pick up OP by their chiton and hurl them out of the temple of Apollo]

Hello, tumblr. I regret to inform you that, unfortunately, the fuckin chocolate guy is at it again.

HE USES A FUCKING LED IN THIS ONE HE CANNOT BE STOPPED

streets with rain gardens and streets without

AND THEY’RE PRETTY

I just finished Fringe

Only thing getting me through today is the thought of Starred Egyptian Tomb Ceilings

Calming stars my beloved

I see your stars of Nefertari and I humbly add Sennefer’s grape vines

And all the patterns for the ceilings in Nebamun and Ipuky's tomb (TT181):

Or in Qenamun’s tomb (TT93):

Or the ceiling from Malqata

Me convincing myself to use the powerful but limited consumables in RPGs

#Barbie (2023)

J.K. Rowling is fucking disgusting. She has aligned herself with a hate movement that is leading to violence and the erosion of human rights. And no amount of fluff pieces from the NYT, likes on her social media pages, or nostalgia for her stories will ever change that.

Keep reading

thank god Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton came together to make a PSA about the dangers of fake news

onion not even doing satire at this point

Easter is around the corner and this PSA cannot be said enough. I HATE treating Lily toxicity and I hate how many cat owners have no idea how deadly these plants are to their kitties. Please don’t bring a lily into your home if you have a cat!

Bugs Bunny could have simply walked into Mordor. He would have shown up at the gates of Mordor in a disguise and been like "Evil volcano inspection unit" and flashed a fake ID badge to the confused orc.

Love the implication here that the one ring would have little to no effect on Bugs

To be fair, it’s canonically established in Lord of the Rings that Tom Bombadil, an inexplicable magical trickster, is unaffected by the ring, and the only reason they don’t give the job to him is because Tom Bombadil is a silly little man who’s easily distracted and just wants to spend time with his hot wife.

Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, loves nothing more than fucking over self-important dickheads, and is also an inexplicable magical trickster, so he would in fact be perfect for this mission.

The One Ring may not tempt Bugs, but he’d have other problems with the mission: he’d get lost halfway there (”I knew I should’ve made a left turn at Albuquerque”) and get distracted enough to hand the One RIng to Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam as a prank, only for it to be stolen by Daffy Duck, leading to an ever-increasing number of characters on an increasingly-destructive chase across Middle Earth as everyone keeps stealing it from each other, (Bugs would definitely pull the “evil volcano inspector” gag to get into Mordor, and he’d then immediately turn around and pose as a customs agent stopping whoever currently has the ring at the border and relieving them of it as “contraband”) culminating in an all-out brawl at Mount Doom.  Bugs manages to reclaim the ring one last time as everyone else is busy fighting each other, only for Daffy to come out of nowhere and grab it out of his hands.  Laughing maniacally, Daffy doesn’t realize that his victory dance has taken him right off the edge off a cliff - until Bugs points it out, at which point gravity reasserts itself, and Daffy and the ring both plunge to the fiery depths below

when the human 2.0 patch rolls out i think people with uvulas should lay eggs rather than keeping them up in there

i can not stress the confidence when i paused and thought "I'm pretty sure uvula is the right part" and got it in one

i feel like im being pranked is it a uterus or an ovary or what what is happening in there

im tired y'all got conveyor belts and stuff in ya coochie ig

current note count: 82

don't you put that curse on me

I have the biggest dick in 40 square miles

Dr. Inna Kanevsky going to check you

hmmm. not to be a communist on main but you deserve more than just necessities actually