fucked up evil creature experiences remorse

"biblical angels" you do realise there are angels in the old testament that are literally just regular looking guys, right? you do know that the hallucinogenic incoherent descriptions are in like. two books. and the rest of the time angels are just guys. you know that, right?

and I'm not saying don't have fun with weird angels. I'm saying, either the eldritch forms are for special occasions, or the society of the angels is Many-Eyed-Many-Winged-Interlocking-Circles, Four-Faces-Six-Wings, and Mike.

Literally Raphael is just a normal person!

this is what the heavenly breakroom is like

So weird that there's a biblical angel who looks just like a water cooler

you fool. that's god.

On February 5th, 2020, as a small group of scientists were crafting a Nature magazine paper that would become the basis of years of reports insisting Covid-19 had natural origins, one of the co-authors, Tulane’s Dr. Robert Garry, wrote in group email:

As detailed in an explosive Public story today, Garry’s thinking changed suddenly when then-New York Times reporter Donald McNeil asked the next day: “Is there any possibility that it could be from the Wuhan lab?”

Garry warned McNeil was “credible,” but “like any reporter can be mislead [sic],” cheering colleague Dr. Andrew Rambaut’s scientific version of a non-denial denial as a “good honest response.”

Last week, House members investigating origins of Covid-19 accidentally released a trove of Slack chats and emails between the authors of Nature’s seminal paper from March 17, 2020, The Proximal Origin of SARS-CoV-2. The Proximal Origin paper delivered a single line that for years helped authorities slam a lid on theories of human intervention in Covid-19: “It is improbable that SARS-CoV-2 emerged through laboratory manipulation.”

Chats showing Proximal Origins authors saying things like “The truth will never come out (if lab escape is the truth)” were published first by independent researcher Francisco Del Asis of the independent investigatory group DRASTIC, after which the story was picked up by Ryan Grim of The Intercept. From there, health officials did their best to ignore the material — “Many of them remained silent with this revelation,” is how De Asis puts it — almost as if they were waiting for another shoe to drop.

That other shoe is dropping. Public and Racket last week obtained a full complement of the “Proximal Origins” communications examined by the House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic, revealing a story far worse than previously believed. While today’s Public story details the unprecedented scientific cover-up, the letters and chats examined here at Racket show how health officials and scientists constructed perhaps the most impactful media deception of modern times, exceeding even the WMD fiasco both in scale and brazen intentionality. Because House investigators uncovered such a wealth of material, some of the Proximal Origin communications — which shed light on other Covid-related controversies — will be addressed in a second part of this series later this week. For now, however, the degree to which these communications blow up years of news stories stands out.

Tumblr post: *literally just the word "penis"*

Tumblr staff: Wholesome content for all ages.

Tumblr post: *prepends the word "girl"*

Tumblr staff:

Dragon Snake aka Javan Mud Snake (Xenodermus javanicus), family Xenodermidae, west Java, Indonesia

photograph by Mark Spence

I have the great honour of being the custodian of the holotype of this incredible species.

ZMUC-R5941, collected in 1834.

It means it’s the original! When it was formally given a name and a description, this is the specimen they used, and if you’re ever unsure what species you found, this is the baseline to compare to!

Yes, for those of you unfamiliar with the term, a holotype (or, if multiple individuals, syntypes) is the original reference specimen for a taxonomic name. Not to be considered typical or archetypal in any way, this specimen is simply the anchor of the name. Anyone wanting to say they have found this species, or thinking they have a different species, must confirm it by checking this specimen. It is the 'name-bearer'. These are the most important specimens in any natural history collection, and some of the most important biological objects in the world.

Sooo hilarious but I can completely see this being a real conversation between streaming execs 😏

(original vid: Asif Ali - instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2p8jpkzz)

“they even put an Indian guy in WandaVision”

hang on a second, I gotta look up something

yeah, this is really funny

here at the sandwich shop, we’ve started to notice some people who are new to sandwiches aren’t used to meat and cheese between two slices of bread. they find this practice strange and confusing. that’s why we’ve decided to cut the bread out all together. from now on, we’ll just serve slices of meat and cheese on a plate.

we know that many of our loyal sandwich shop customers have been coming here for years to buy our delicious sandwiches. but some people don’t “get” sandwiches, and we need to try and appeal to them with an easier-to-understand meal format. we will no longer be serving sandwiches. all of our food will just be cold cuts on a paper plate. we love our customers and appreciate your understanding <3

Yes we know Craig's Cold Cuts down the street does cold cuts better than we do and has millions of customers. That's why we need to switch to cold cuts, to get their customers. We hope that our long-time sandwich loving customer base will be patient in this transition to cold cuts and welcome the certain influx of Craig's Cold Cut customers who will surely come here to enjoy our worse cold cuts with you, our sandwich-deprived customer base, whom we value so much.

This one shall do nicely.

35 miles, happy 24 hours.

24 miles, 19 hours and ticking.

It's ok, take your time

Hog swill

Might take a minute.

Back on track, 20 miles ~20 hours, might need a medic.

Buddy???

Found the portal, expect my corpse to arrive in 17-20 hours.

What

What the hell

"Well, we couldn't do anything a8out it."

Oh wow ::::0

when you played portal 2 for the first time and you heard wheatley go “actually…. why do we have to leave right now?”

when you played portal 2 for the seventh time and you heard wheatley go “actually…. why do we have to leave right now?”

hate to say it but the key to having things solved by big company customer service is you just gotta stretch the truth with them. or straight up lie. actually. was on the phone for 3 hours because they sent something to the wrong address and spoke to 10 different departments trying to figure out if anyone could go fucking get it and they're like "uhhh but can you go get it" bitch I'm 8 hours away by car, I don't live in the house where you sent it.

took a moment to think, called back and was just like. Hi. My package was stolen off the porch!!! Saw the cunt steal it myself!! Anyway can you please send new things to this other address for free since that's your policy for stolen goods thank you~☆ ! and it was immediately solved.

actually my tags are too good not to include

follow me for more customer service tips and tricks

THIS is how it's done!!!

I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off

THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING IN THE WORLD IS WHEN A CARTOON CHARACTER IS LOCKED IN A CELL OR CAGE OF SOME KIND AND THE BARS ARE LIKE

Magic, bitches

Mario Heritage Post

˙ʇɐqʇᴉnɹɟ ɐ ǝɯoɔǝq oʇ pǝpᴉɔǝp ǝʌ,I

Hello everybody with summer fast approaching here is your regular reminder that:

Okay, people are clowning in the replies, so let’s try this again:

Sunburn is an uncomfortable short term problem caused by being out in the sun for too long without sunscreen. Some people are more susceptible to it than others. Melanin does protect you from sunburn, so people with dark skin are less likely to get burned, but also sometimes people just have a natural resistance to sunburn (or lack of resistance) - I’m white as hell, and literally the only time in my life I’ve gotten a sunburn was when I spent a whole day outside in a swimsuit without putting on sunscreen when I was a kid, and all I got was a minor burn across my shoulders. Never experienced that whole ‘peeling’ thing y’all are talking about, sounds super gross and uncomfortable tho. Rip to all the rest of you but i’m different.

Skin cancer is fucking cancer. It has nothing to do with sunburn, apart from both being caused by a lot of unprotected sun exposure. If you have skin, you are at risk of getting skin cancer. I have little to no risk of getting sunburn, but I still wear sunscreen, because I am protecting myself from fucking skin cancer.

If someone is basically immune to sunburn, then that’s awesome, but we still need to use just as much sunscreen as everyone else. Because we can still get skin cancer. Immunity to sunburn is not a sign that you can go easy on the sunscreen. And honestly, if you’ve got dark skin, you should probably be extra paranoid about applying sunscreen, because the majority of information on recognizing skin cancer is meant specifically for recognizing it on white skin. If you’re black/brown, it will probably take you longer to be diagnosed if you get skin cancer. And cancer is one of those things that you want diagnosed and treated very quickly, so you should be extra motivated to not get skin cancer in the first place.

Everyone needs to wear sunscreen. Wear your fucking sun screen.

what is art about? blood. what is love about? blood. what is hate about? blood. what is sex about? blood. what is history about? blood. what am i about? blood. what is blood about? idk ask a biologist i guess

hi, biologist here! blood is about gay sex