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Chronic Confusion

@chronicconfusion

Just cool stuff I find!
I tag things when I remember.

every piglin in a fifty mile radius turning aggro when my dogshit thirty durability golden boots shatter because i jumped off a one block incline

dark-deathrage

you're a stupid fucking anti-sjw lol. This blog is stupid. I hate you crackers white people SUCK go suck a dick.

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looks like I triggered more sjws. Keep sending these asks they only fuel my logic. 

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Never forget the guy who didn’t remember to hit anon before sending himself hate mail

Love that we’re still dragging the poor fuckers corpse around years later so no one ever forgets their shameful mistake lol

Hello white mutuals. Before you is a charcuterie board with 15 different types of cheese. If you manage to go 12 hours without touching the cheeses you can leave this room. Good luck.

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spockhatesterfs

I was eating off this cool cheese plate while you were talking can you repeat that pls

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As a trans woman I can confirm that they indeed found an ancient forest inside a 630ft deep sinkhole in China

cis people can reblog this but keep it on subject, please

Happy pride month everyone always remember that the sinkhole has an ecosystem large enough to house not only insects but likely several species of small birds or mammals

Harry: And why shouldn’t I blame Spiderman for your injuries?? He calls himself a hero, protecting civilians like you should be his priority! Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kick his ass for letting you get hurt!!

Peter: Because-

Newscaster on the tv next to Harry: In this footage you can see Peter Parker, known freelance photographer for the Daily Bugle, actually shove Dr. Doom out of his way while yelling “move it or lose it,” as he runs with his camera, presumably to capture more pictures of the vigilante known as “Spiderman”

Harry:

Peter: -I’m a dumbass.

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The image of Peter shoving Doom out of the way though. Like, did he get his ass beat? Or was Doom just stunned?

He must have flashbacked to getting pushed around in high school, lying on the pavement wondering why a guy that weighs a hundred pounds wet could shove him so easily in his armor. (I don’t know if Dr. Doom is even physically strong.)

Anyways, Harry’s about to have an aneurysm because of Peter “I push supervillains around for fun” Parker. Mr. One Bad Day Away according to his coworkers.

Shadow! SHADOW. This could tie in with the Polarizer post. The folks at the Daily Bugle see Parker pushing villains around for a shot or when he’s late to work and just goes: Oh, he’s gonna be top dog when he turns.

Just: “Hey Parker, want a coffee? ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏⁱˡˡ ᵐᵉ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒ ᵉᵛⁱˡ, ᵒᵏᵃʸ?”

Absolutely

Also, he was quick enough running that he got away with it, in fact, it’s not till he hears the news that he realizes who he pushed, that point of calling himself a dumbass was him realizing for the first time how badly he fucked up

He spends awhile after that anxiously waiting the consequences of what he’s done, when he runs into Dr Doom as Peter Parker, he’s once again in a bad mood, so several things happen quickly:

Doom confronts him, Peter snarks back at him, Harry freaks out and pulls a weapon out to defend his friend (he’s started carrying one around after realizing how disastrously Peter lives his life), and Reed intervenes because of course if Dr Doom’s running around then the fantastic four are close behind

So not only did everyone see Peter not back down from Dr Fucking Doom, but they all just saw Harry Osborn pull out a weapon, obviously something Oscorp specific that he got from his dad, and realize that Peter’s villainy could easily be funded and supported by Oscorp

It’s at this point that the coworkers who were just making jokes about future villain Parker start to join the others in genuinely believing it

Meanwhile, Peter’s just happy that one of his science heroes defended him …up till JJJ starts yelling at him for not getting pics of the fight despite being right there, meanwhile the rest of his coworkers are behind Peter, trying to silently tell JJJ to stop stop stop

They don’t know what’s preventing Peter from turning into a supervillain, seems like it’d be so easy for him to do so at this point, but they’re happy that whatever it is exists

Honestly, they’d probably believe that Aunt May is the one stopping him, and now every time she gets sick she gets a ton of cards and flowers and gifts from Peter’s coworkers wishing begging for her health to return

This is how “Peter Parker is already one of the villains” rumors surface

(Also!! This could tie in with him having a fake villain identity, he does all that work to make a fake civilian identity to go with it, but because only the villains know about the fake civilian identity, everyone else goes “shit that must be Parker.” he’s freaking out, why are people associating that identity with him??)

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🤣🤣😂🤣 “Shit that must be Parker.”

I need Harry to find out about the supervillain persona apartment. Like, Peter has to desperately explain that it’s for photo-ops or something. He’s not actually a super villain or intending to be and Harry just thinks: Is this why Spider-Man hates him?

Now Harry has a conspiracy board. But also, determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn. Fake name when?

Hear me out tho, Harry hearing that people think Peter (his Petey, his bestest friend) is a villain, and Harry knows damn well that’s not how Aunt May and Uncle Ben raised him, so he does his own investigating

And by a stroke of luck he manages to connect it to Spiderman

It all just loops back around to Harry blaming Spiderman for the things going wrong in Peter’s life

Also yes determinedly devoted henchman Harry Osborn needs to be a thing

(Jhgfsl Harry creates a secret identity specifically to take down Spiderman because he found out about his secret villain identity, except, maybe due to the use of Oscorp tech, everyone knows it’s Harry immediately, so instead of people realizing he’s trying to be a hero (except for maybe JJJ), everyone thinks Peter’s finally snapped and sent his devoted henchman (Harry) after his obvious arch nemesis Spiderman)

Oh but it gets even worse! The supervillains who Peter “Might be New to Villiany” Parker worked with before they became villains is a pretty interesting list. I imagine a more stable Doctor Curt Connors is mildly horrified that young Parker has turned to crime. (He had such a bright future…) Octavius, who I think usually figures out Spider-Man’s identity, wonders what game he is playing having a hero and villian identity. One which doesn’t even try to hide his civilian identity—to throw people off?

Whether he knows or not, Norman thinks that Peter snapped from the pressure. Now Harry was more expected considering the history of the Goblins. Even just taking the damn serum.

The heroes don’t know what to do. Peter only seems to be focusing on Spider-Man at the moment. Which could of course escalate. Yet it gives them someone to help direct his attention away from civilians. Richards blames himself for failing another Doom situation despite his best efforts. Maybe he should have tried working with Parker more directly? SHIELD wonders how they missed him teaming up with Osborn Industries. Spider-Man himself is not amused by how many different people try budding into his schedule in-mask while avoiding Harry.

Somehow, Aunt May does not hear of this at all.

The real kicker from an outsiders perspective is that Peter still submits photos to the Bugle. He collects a paycheck without trying anything close to robbing people. What type of villian even is Peter if he focuses primarily on Spider-Man? One with morals maybe? (For Now???)

Can I propose that JJJ thinks Peter's villain persona is great and enthusiastically shills for him constantly?

Like, that's his boy, Peter! Fighting the Spider-Menace! He's way too emotionally constipated to ever tell Peter he cares about him to his face, but the alter ego is fair game!

Peter is so tired.

OP I am living for this situation

kljaf;kld yeah peter if harry brought this to him would be like

1) i can't be a supervillain because uncle ben would be disappointed in me (actual reason!)

2) if i was a villain i would be making. so much money. harry look me in the face i would not flagrantly do evil and not even get paid for it, please give me just that many sanity points. just that much credit is all i ask.

kljaf;kld yeah

peter if harry brought this

to him would be like

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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I got a Geiger counter!

Let’s look through my collection for some Spicy Rocks!  I’ve never deliberately collected radioactive specimens, so I have no idea what I’m going to find.

First, though, let’s test the baseline level of radiation in my house.

It’s fun to hear the Geiger counter click as it detects radiation.  20 counts per minute.  Nice!  You’re unlikely to ever see a count of zero, as pretty much everything in the world, including the human body, gives off a little bit of radiation. 

20 is a normal baseline, nothing to be concerned about.  Standing in my house, I’m getting a radiation dose of about 0.00013 milliseieverts per hour - or a little over one mSv a year.  This is an average yearly dosage of radiation for people in my country, and is something my body can easily process.  For context, a dosage of 100 mSv would slightly increase my risk of cancer, and a dosage of 1000 mSv would immediately give me radiation sickness.

But enough about these boring, safe amounts of radiation.  I want to see some spice!  Let’s check over by the Rock Wall!

Hm, I’d expected the CPM to be noticeably higher around my rock collection, but I’m getting nothing!  Even testing each individual rock, nothing’s more than a few ticks above the baseline.  So far, my fancy new toy is looking like wasted money.  :c

WAIT!  THERE!!  62 CPM!  That’s three times higher than the base reading in the rest of my house!!!  YESSS!!  THIS ROCK IS SPICY!!!!

Here’s the rock that’s setting off my Geiger counter.  (Yes I’m touching the spicy rock with my bare hands, don’t worry about it.) 

This fossil, which is as big as my head, is part of the femur bone of a Megalonyx, a North American giant ground sloth!

These huge animals could grow as big as ten feet tall.  They lived alongside humans during the last ice age, and it’s theorized that humans may have hunted them to extinction.  This particular fossil was found in a phosphate mine!

Why is it radioactive?  Because… sometimes fossils are just radioactive!  They spend a lot of time in the ground, which is full of radioactive minerals, and often radiation just gets all up in there.  There are some fossils on display in museums which are so radioactive that they have to be coated with lead paint for the safety of curators and museum-goers!  Compared to those, this femur bone is barely radioactive at all.

So is it really safe for me to have this in my house, much less handle it with my bare hands?  Well, yeah!  Remember, despite having this spicy rock in my collection, the radiation baseline in my house is completely normal.  Here’s why.

Even just a few centimeters away from this specimen, the Geiger counter’s reading is halved.  A few inches away, and it can’t detect any radiation at all.  It basically has to be directly touching the rock to get an abnormal reading.  Which means I also have to be touching the rock to receive a meaningful amount of radiation exposure.

But even holding this rock in my hands, I’m only getting a dosage of about 0.0004 mSv per hour.  If I never let go of this rock for an entire year, I would get a dose of about 3.5 mSv.  Which is… still completely within the safe threshold for my body to process.  Nothing to worry about!

Man, I gotta start collecting some spicier rocks.

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Good news!!  Further testing has revealed yet another spicy rock in my collection!

This little fellow is apatite.  He is mildly radioactive because, like most apatite, he contains traces of thorium and uranium!

Hovering at 54-55 CPM, he is very mild indeed for an apatite specimen.  Just today I had the opportunity to test someone else’s collection for radiation, and discovered a piece of apatite that clocked in at 250 CPM!  That’s “maybe don’t touch this rock with your bare hands” territory!  Ah, I’m jealous…

if they rebooted austin powers it would either be the most tone deaf unfunny incredibly offensive movie in years OR they'd do it right and really keep with the times in being very self aware and it would be one of the best films in decades. austin powers would be a massive support of trans rights because trans women means more women for him to shag

oh your pronouns are she/they? well baby lemme she/them titties shagadelic

austin powers discovers bisexuality and it blows his fucking mind