jrpg final bosses will seem way too over the top but then I encounter one fruit fly irl and start to monologue when it dodges me
"no... how did you survive my attack... what is this power??"
Me chasing a mosquito at 2 in the morning: “You insignificant little pest. How dare you disturb me?! I will destroy you and all your kind!”
the delivery, the lil bit of breaking at her own jokes at the end of each one, god it's so on tone
i feel like we should stop making jokes about sex. not because im a prude- i DO fuck, frequently- but because at this point there's only so many times you can say penis before it just goes in one ear and out the other
haha lol
much to Yahoo's chagrin, Firefox is actually the new pdf
not the twitter migrants putting "reblog heavy" in their bios on here... like yeah. that's what we do here
reblog heavy
another underappreciated tumblr feature that you dont get on other sites is the queue. i love it when something i thought was funny six months ago and then forgot about a week later crawlts its way out of the processing vortex and i get to see it all over again.
you should queue this post it would be funny and grant me immortality
you motherfuckers put me in the processing vortex
Just when I thought I couldn’t be radicalized more, I learn the CEO of my “small” family company owns not two but THREE houses
Damn, you gonna do anything about it?
Hello user isuggestarson, I have not considered it, perhaps you have a suggestion?
I think this picture of my gf helping fix my car should be in the MoMa
it’s really not that hard to make a popular blog on tumblr. what you’re gonna wanna do is put the words “evil” and “wizard” in the url somewhere
Target audience
my beautifal children
anyone who told you shitting in the woods is relaxing or magical is fucking lied to you my delicate exposed penis is under attack from all sides by wasps and venomous snakes
Church is weird
if there was a christian side of tumblr this is what their text posts would look like
Gave me a bad idea
i Love vaccines, autism, abortions, homosexuals, sex changes and crime
rhinoceros beetle
I’m not normally an admirer of tattoos.
This is so fucking cool!
5 topologically impossible ways to fold his socks that'll drive him to ontological madness
brought to you by the time my girlfriend folded my socks until they each contained the other
To be fair, we would have a lot more space for clothes if you'd let me pack them into a place perpendicular to all other places.
but that's where i keep my mallet
