Chordalistic

wet vs dry

[id: a tiktok by dogsofttiktok6. Upbeat music plays as it shows clips of a variety of dogs, cats, and one chicken, before and after a bath. The “after” animals usually look waterlogged and unhappy. In some cases, the difference between the dry and wet appearances are slight, with the hair a little plastered down. In the case of the chicken and some of the fluffier cats and dogs, their wet coat/feathers sticks to their body, revealing that they are actually much smaller than they looked.] (id by @levymcgarden55 - thanks!)

watching people come to terms with the fact that link from good mythical morning is kinda milfy now is incredible

comedy gold to me

war never changes

despite her efforts to evade me, i have finally filmed my cat playing my harp

Is a tiny cat playing a harp blasé to you people?? You don't even have time to give her a little like for her recital 🥺?

Cute. The different vibrations from different strings must feel pleasant.

Kinda wish I was suckin a couple of dicks right now

my mutuals

reblog if you regularly speak to homosexuals online.

wholesome doggo

Local dog accidentally creates a religion.

You could call it a “shoeperstition”

I was gonna respond to this crazy lady, but I read “breeding ground for aggressive lesbians” and got so hard I passed out

Saw a post about the sesamarot and wanted to share my favorite reading

The guy asked, the cards gave the most direct answer possible.

my little brother got a girlfriend recently and the two of them have been making their discord icons matching anime couples, so my other brother, his twin, keeps changing his icon to a third wheel character to annoy them

this is an old post but i have an update: the second brother started voice calling and playing games with a girl he likes, and every time the first brother walks into their room while hes talking to her he makes sure to hype him up, but in absurdly hyperbolized ways like “broo i just saw you on the news congrats on saving the bus full of orphans from crashing into the baby panda hospital. also zendaya called and asked if you wanted to go out with her and billie eilish but obviously you wont because youre so loyal. and joe biden came by personally and said he wanted to give you an award for most handsome man alive but i told him to just put it with the others”

WELCOEM TO MY FUCK HOUSE

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

this post is still good even without the glitch that’s how good this post is

for those who forgot about the hellhole that was the 2015 tumblr glitch:

Call me a four stroke engine the way I

Suck your dick

Squeeze your tits

Bang you from behind

Blow your mind

Call me a four stroke engine the way I finish you in four strokes

Call me a four stroke engine the way I finish in four strokes 😢

pizza hut had to remove its self-service salad bars in china because people were engineering literally exactly this babelian monstrosity